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[Hziran 3, 7788]

Hziran 3, 7788

Vico threw Lucia's corpse onto the floor. Still and lifeless. She who slew Imizael. She who laughed and mocked her over the bellows. She was dead, and Vico had killed her. He swaggered into the Pyramid like the Tavaskusu, proudly showing off his plumage.

And so the Janissaries beat him.

And so Koji killed him.

There is so little relief here. Only sadness compounded by sadness. Grief over grief.

Layers upon layers of it.

Like the ages of history.

Blood and Sorrow.

What can I do?

Visions of Paradise
Iyar 29 7788

[Iyar 28, 7788]

Iyar 28, 7788

They took my sister from me. They killed her. They cursed her. They cut her open. They took her body apart. They stole pieces from her.

They did all these things to her.

And they act so smug. Instead of showing remorse they are remorseless. Instead of showing compassion they reveal their wickedness.

Again and again.

And I am supposed to forgive them.

Forgive them as they laugh in my ear.

Forgive them as they mock your memory.

Forgive them as they lie and twist the truth.

Forgive them as they scorn my kindness and spit at me.

I don't know if I can.

I want them to pay.

[Iyar 18, 7788]

Iyar 18, 7788

They ignore my problems. Whenever it happens they just tell me to leave and go to another room. And then they do politics while I suffer and scream and claws are dragged through my mind. I keep going to them for help and they keep pushing me away. Later. Later. Later.

Then they blame me when the problem gets worse! They say I put the Priory at risk! As if I willingly did anything. I was just doing what they told me! She was right all those months ago. Nobody else cares.

It's hard to forgive people who keep lying to you.

I'll keep trying.

[Iyar 13, 7788]

Iyar 13, 7788


Imizael. I welcomed you into my heart. You were my sister. You were a member of my new family. You were difficult to know but I still loved you. Even when you were cast out, even when you said cruel and wicked things, even then I did not stop caring for you. I did not stop loving you.

They did such horrible things to you. They laugh at their own wickedness. They laugh at the desecration and defilement of your body. They laugh and say "It's just an autopsy" or "It's only a brain."

They act as if these things are normal. As if it is normal to cut apart a person, to take from them their organs and the things that were part of them in life.

I feel as if I am the mad one! Everyone around me acts as if this is normal. They behave as if this is not an unholy desecration. As if anyone's spirit would not weep and cry in anguish to see their body so!

Where is the respect? Where is the piety for the Twins? Your body has been defiled and I cry and weep.

Why can I never save anyone?

Why can I never protect my family?

Why?

I will do what I can for you Imizael.

I've noticed a few oddities and bugs when it comes to Astrologian Spells. Some of them are due to some of the spell's levels being rebalanced.

Level 1:
Astral Regeneration - cannot be scribed. No price, no message.
Stellar Blade - has a scribe price of 225gp. Most level 1 scrolls are 25gp.

Level 2:
Burst of Radiance, Star Shard, Twist Fate - have a scribe price of 225gp. Most level 2 scrolls are 100gp.

Level 3:
Celestial Regen - cannot be scribed. No price, no message.
Lunar Bolt - has a scribe price of 400gp. Most level 3 scrolls are 225gp.

[Iyar 8, 7788]

Iyar 8, 7788

She might be back. She spoke the words, not me. Nobody else is worried. I am.

Maybe I can do it right this time? Last time I got angry and killed her! Well, she kind of killed me first? Mind battles are weird and confusing. How dare she turn my memory of my home into a battleground!

But maybe that was the wrong thing to do? Maybe if I forgave her I could have found some way to coexist?

I'm trying something new with my paintings. More water, Ephia's Water. Water from the Spring when I'm there. Sometimes some wine or other liquors. Let it flow across the canvas. Allow patterns to emerge. Fingers. Brush. Paint without thinking. Peer into them. Maybe there's meaning in the patterns and shapes that emerge?

Trying to write more. Used to write a lot before.

In Bel-Ishun a dark vine grew,
It was made in a glorious place,
Its brilliance was shining lapis,
Planted beside the water.

To the glorious dwelling,
Which is like a forest,
Its shadow extends,
No man enters its midst.

Dream Painting 7
Iyar 7th, 7788

Dream Painting 5
Iyar 2nd, 7788

Dream Painting 3
Nisah 31st, 7788

Dearest Legates,

We write to you out of benevolent concern about things we heard during a White League meeting. Various attendees inquired about the amount of dinar in the district treasury and were discussing plans to use these funds. Some were related to the protection of the refugees. But not all were.

The Priory was provided assurances that the district treasury would be used solely for the construction of the new district and that the State would not withdraw from it for any other purpose. That was the purpose of the ministry - that charity and funds that were put into it were pledged towards this goal.

We care greatly about the safety and well-being of the refugees. We want to save as many lives as we can. We believe that the most prudent way to save lives is to build the new district as swiftly as possible. We also understand that we need to respond to crisis as they arise. We should respond in a way that is sensible and meaningful. Therefore we ask to be consulted on any proposed uses of the district funds so that we may advise and give our blessing to their use.

Thank you,

Acolyte Narwen Alendiel
Priory of the Sibylline Vine

[Nisah 20, 7788]

Nisah 20, 7788

I'm yellow now.

Should I change my name? I like Yellowen because it keeps the 'wen' part of my name, but it doesn't really flow off the tongue.

Goldwen?

Amberwen is probably the best sounding name and it makes me think of my amber pendant gift, but it's not really an amber colour is it?

Will they make me leave the Priory if my robes are glowing yellow all the time? Maybe I can become a scribe.

Scribewen...

[Nisah 12, 7788]

Nisah 12, 7788

I try to fit in. I try to make myself into the person they want me to be.

But do I want to be that person?

Am I still "me"?

They say that this is my new family but why does that sound more like a threat than a declaration of love?

Father and Sons, Seen in Assuru
Nisah 6th, 7788

[Adar 29, 7787]

Adar 29, 7787

Questions. More questions. As Alejandro says - "you open one door and behind it are three more." I know he was being figurative - but I have opened an actual door and found three more.

You would have loved this, Joriel. You always were so smart. So good at teasing out hidden meanings. I try to imagine what you would say about these things. I try to imagine you saying "Yes, but what if..."

I'm not smart enough for this. I don't know how to make these notes all fit together into a song. I can see the shape of it. I can feel the rhythm of it. I can see how piece A could flow into piece C, even if I don't know what piece B sounds like or what the finale will sound like.

But - Do I want to know? Do I want to hear this song in all its terrible glory?



That is the question that I struggle with.



The Spring tells us to live in the moment. To not be worried or burdened by the sorrows and tragedies of the past. To avoid war and avoid needless violence and the thoughts that those things inflict upon us. The Spring is wise.

Had I only listened to it...

I would have fewer burdens upon my heart, soul and mind.

But knowing what I knew, feeling what I felt... I could not stand by. I needed to do something.

We cannot be ignorant - not when the things you don't know about are reaching out across the ages to influence and shape your destiny. Someone must carry these burdens for the sake of the others. Someone must be the Snorfbait. That is what I have come to learn.

Let this be my sacrifice to you.