Rakim's Roadguide: Narcotics

[Random_White_Guy]

Having traveled from Baz'eel to wherever the Wheel touches across the Great Ash Desert there's not many skink holes, taverns, brothels, follies, or fillies I've not had the privilege of knowing. 
As business on behalf of the highest seat of Baz'eel has brought my family's fortunes to Ephia's Well I must make due in this curious backwater.
Yet in service to the honorable Legate Sol Auk I take ink and quill to draft for you a traveler's guide to show not all of a backwater is so bleak.

Join me, Rakim, of the famed Fan Dance of the Yearning Urn Brothel, as I serve as your guide through the lows and highs... the sweet, sweet highs, of Narcotics to be found in Ephia's Well.

Welcome to

The Roamer's Roadguide:
Narcotics of Ephia's Well
By Rakim the Roamer

The Drink of the Rose: A mess of Muck - 0 Stars
Raw Mizzar: A Stonefolk's Splendor - 0.5 Stars
Processed Mizzar: Cigarettes, Cigars, Qaylan - 1 Stars
Backalley Ash: For the newly arrived of Asheema's Hope - 2 Stars
Slice Spice: For the Huffers and Snuffers of the Krak de Rose - 3 Stars
Dirt: Dirt for What hurts, from the Alley to the Galley - 4 Stars
Scorch:  Of Bliss and Butchery - 5 Stars

[Random_White_Guy]

THE DRINK OF THE ROSE
0/5 Stars

Illustrious Hero, Velan Volandis, in a time of doubt and woe said plain the only reason he remained was because there was no way to get the swill peddled by the Rose outside of their ranks. The Apothar Cosine holds his own curious cares for the muck the Sisters huck, as does the Apothar Estellise. So too is it said the Janissaries of Baz'eel have procured themselves a fair trove.

Which leads to the question: Why? The Drink of The Rose said to offer forth clarity, vision, peace, and more - yet from every Slice-Snuffer of the Cinquefoil to the Banda Rossa itself say this brew is little more than physical addiction. A bottled lie. At which point why bother, why care, why drink of it?

So many more pleasing substances to indulge in without being bound to the whims of the bashful sisters and their false promises.

Temperament: Lucid, tepid, addicted.
High: Minimal
Bouquet: Camel Piss
Cost: ? ? ?
Result: Not worth it.

[Random_White_Guy]

Raw Mizzar
0.5/5 Stars

Before Baz'eel even stood it is said the illiterate and ignorant Stonefolk puttered about moving boulders. When the boulder moving was done they found a strange herb, a herb if ground to a powder and huffed it brought them a pleasing fog. It was not though until two fabled Stonefolk, collapsing in a heap after hard day's labor upon their Hut floor. This sparked a pile of nearby herb that lead to the first Mizzar Burn. Where any civilized sort would have run out of their hut to fetch water the Stonefolk remained within huffing and puffing. Lethargic and dulled of senses puttering about as their lives collapsed around them.

But considering the quality of their homes can you be shocked they did not care if such burned? No. No you cannot.

Fortunately the far more civilized folk found the wealth to be made in such an herb and we took to processing it, to be discussed in our next entry.

Temperament: Lazy, groggy, mild delirium.
High: Minimal
Bouquet: Skink fur and Stonefolk
Cost: 0-100 dinar
Result: In a pinch, try a pinch. But save your Dinar for something fairer.

[Random_White_Guy]

Processed Mizzar
1/5 Stars

Rolled in cigarettes on street corners, puffed in cigars in business meetings, huffed from Qaylan pipes in real business meetings of the truly influential Ashfolk - Processed Mizzar has been a staple of culture and effortless impression. That impression of a rugged edge tempered with unfettered charisma. The ashfolk man who smokes such is a man of wealth who seeks to unwind from his many charitable efforts. The ashfolk woman who smokes such is a desirable yet aloof presence to be reckoned with in any chosen field.  The Human adventurers have taken to it like moths to flame and in such many businesses have grown.

A way to say to the world "Yes, fellow Human, I do not care what I put into my body but my Dinar goes towards violence and potions". A way to say you wish to take risks while not drawing the wealth and adoration of those who truly indulge in the Roamer lifestyle of revelry, mating, and legitimate narcotics consumption.

Perfect for the human child wishing to mimic adults, the Human attempting to fit in with higher Culture, and the Refugee-Adventurer who lacks the ambition for a real narcotic bliss.

Temperament: Phlegmatic, Charismatic, Laid-back, effortless.
High: Minimal
Bouquet: Campfire and Cactusflower.
Cost: 37-500 dinar depending upon delivery vessel and quality.
Result: Something to have in your hands while you speak of business or to impress fellow humans, but ultimately a waste of dinar unless you are enjoying a true Qaylan Pipe with proper Ashfolk companion

[Random_White_Guy]

Backalley Ash
2/5 Stars

You awaken in the Desert, or have walked for countless leagues after the loss of your home. You find yourself to the Gate of the Rose, into Ephia's Well. To we it is a backwater outpost but to you it is the cosmopolitan core of civilization - as far as you will ever know. You stumble your way to Asheema's Hope where you find many fellow refugees puttering about. Coated in sweat, grime, hunting worm guts, and whatever they may to secure one more precious dinar.

A charitable ashfolk man, with well groomed hair and lovely grey skin pays you a visit. His toga so well pressed and his teeth immaculate glimmering beneath his groomed mustache. He says to you his name and your foreign ears awestruck. You look upon him confused, barely comprehending the opportunity before you.

He hands you a small pouch of Backalley Ash.  A charity he calls it.

You forget your day before this moment. You are lost in his beautiful eyes. He calls himself Rakim. Your knees buckle. You huff of the Powder.

He then leaves you to your sad existence of hunting worms. But for a brief moment you have glimpsed true culture, and the possibility that awaits in Ephia's Well.

Run, little Worm-Hunter, run and get Dinar. Get another bag of Ash. Get another taste of Heaven.

Temperament: Erratic, fogged, energetic, durable
High: Light
Bouquet: Old Sand and Stale Salt with a hint of acrid fruit.
Cost: 20-80 dinar depending upon the day.
Result: A pep in your step and a blow shrugged off. For the newcomer, Adventurer seeking a cheap thrill, or the timid explorer taking the first steps into true narcotics best to ease in with Ash.

[Random_White_Guy]

Slice Spice
3/5 Stars

You've seen it even if you haven't. Balestriere Kythaela the Gold Lion's favored narcotic, Benjin the Student and others of the College of the Balladeers, men, women, dwarves of the Krak de Rose. A share of every contract delivered to the right hands ensures the blue powder that makes the Krak go Round. A huff here, a snuff there, to be enjoyed after a long hard day's work. Or when you wake up in the morning ready to embark on both the Top and Bottom board contracts. Perhaps even a day in which you tackle three bottom board contracts, a break for some slice-spice, and then one more.

It is a narcotic that despite the Janissaries best efforts has become synonymous with Mercenary work. A slice here, a slice there, whenever the job's profit is being split.

While the hangover can be a stinging, another huff will leave you singing. In a pinch or a pouch your job one step closer to completed - for use in business and in pleasure, whichever you treasure.

Welcome to the world of Narcotics Proper, brave explorer, you prince among pauper, you rough and ready sellsword eager to distinguish yourself from the collective mass of Refugee.

Temperament: Focused, hypertrophic, numbing, thrilling.
High: Medium
Bouquet: Crumbled flowers, Wasp Honey, and just a drop of sunshine.
Cost: 136-210 dinar depending upon your source.
Result: From Palm Heights to the Krak to the farthest reaches of the Great Ash Desert a staple in every drug-eaters menu for good reason: It's amazing.

[Random_White_Guy]

Dirt
4/5 Stars

We've all heard it. "Rub some dirt on it" - Be it Janissary soldier withstanding a Melek attack, a Balestriere waist deep in mud fending off Thousand-Clan arrows, or Marriet the Madsword nearly winning the Palette Games with nothing but a pouch of Dirt. Originally developed by Alchemists as an alternative to B'aara's waters during a particularly fierce drought, it has endured and lasted solely on the fact that it is supremely effective at what it does. Marriet the Madsword became synonymous for weeks with the narcotic Dirt as her "Draw" before the Crown Princess and her two fair sisters lead to a tie against the feral human refugee who would be later executed for the murder. A small halfling woman and a pouch of dirt changed the tide against a bloodcrazed Savage human.

That alone powerful image, she raised Champion of Ephia's Well, made so by nothing more than a pouch of dirt and a dream.

Favored by gladiator pit fighters from Ka'Esh to the Krak de Rose, Alleysmen of the Creep, and Ashfolk scholars subjected to the most harrowing locations of the Great Ash Desert in need of relief from the countless blisters and sandal-sores.

Equally said to be favored by many brothel goers for additional... numbing... properties. One of the most delightful narcotics in all of Ephia's Well, bar one.

Temperament: Intensely numbing, medicinal, forgetting you have a body below your eyeballs.
High: Large
Bouquet: Earthen musk which gives way to the sweet scent of cinnamon and marigold.
Cost: 136-220 dinar depending upon your source.
Result: There's a reason this combat-favored narcotic is outlawed in Baz'eel - Far too many Ring Runners indulging and raising ruckus for the local Janissaries. Ephia's Well however built upon bloodshed and so it is highly recommended in any expedition's budget.

[Random_White_Guy]

Scorch
5/5 Stars

Oh Scorch, Oh, sweet, sweet, beautiful, scorch.
Contrary to the claims by the Water Temple and the Janissaries of the Fourth Legion, the narcotic Scorch is wholly legal in Ephia's Well.
Accused by Advocate Cyrille of the White League as a favored substance of Legate John Syter,
live and Drink Deep of the heady blend of chemicals that flow so freely and wonderfully upon the mind.

It is said Q'tolip first gazed upon the Darkest Side Moon to discover the blend, and why he and his banned from Baz'eel.
It is said the Maharaja of Qadira offered to sell his Title for 500,000 Dinar to support his habit.
It is said the Highest Priests and Priestesses of Gellema fade away from life itself to walk between the stars upon consumption.

Oh the rumors, they swirl and dance, but I can share this my friends.

It is worth every Dinar. Every. Single. Dinar. In the Great Ash Desert. Oh, oh yes. Purest euphoria.

Delivered into the palm of your hand.

That with one dose can a Balestrirere of La Banda Rossa fend off Six Janissary.
That in times past the Desert Bandit Princes used it to fend off in single combat, the First Legion's Janissary Ogres.
That in times past the Great Arena of Ka'esh was taken not for the marketplace but for the Gladiator's stockpile of Scorch saved below.

It is the love-letter from the hands to the soul,
It is the sonnet of Alejandro penned behind your eyes.
It is the truest, most wondrous, most splendid sensation you shall ever know in your entire life.

...And it can be yours for the price of two haste vials.
An inexplicable mixture of unfettered bliss and unstoppable fury.
What more would any soldier, sellsword, man, woman, or child crave?

Though finding it another issues. Far and away is it kept from fair company. Far too precious to risk falling into the wrong hands, for you paid well for it and you should enjoy it.

Temperament: Euphoric, Blissful, Other-worldly, ineffable
High: Indescribable
Bouquet: Melted chocolate, your first kiss, a hug from your grandmother, A firm handshake from the Sultan.
Cost: 400 - ? ? ? Dinar
Result: Transcendent Euphoria, Unprecedented Combat survival, Indefatigable marching, unparalleled victory