The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tammuz 29th, IY 7788

He's resting, now. There isn't more to it than that.

Funerals are a strange affair, though. In general... Important to work through those emotions, of course, but it's interesting how differently people can see a single person... At least they seem to focus on very different things. But I suppose that's life for you...

Been very lethargic for the past few days... Feel like sleeping for most of the day. Means that I have to do my work in hasty bursts, but... At least I get to rest, too. Even if I'm a little worried that I'm making a lot of mistakes... With the work, I mean. In general, I really haven't done much else other than mistakes, lately...

Don't even know if I wrote that right, but I'm very, very, very tired.

I've also been considering the transfer... But I don't really get job offers, so... Still stuck here. I think I have about a month left. Maybe less. Lately, folk have been plenty aggressive towards me, so... You'd think it'd be more focused on the Vizier thing, but it's... all a bunch of bullshit. Feel like they're grasping at straws, really. Like I said, I've made a lot of actual mistakes... Plenty to yell about there, but folk here are just weird, and have to come up with excuses, instead.

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When I end up shanked, or turned into ash, whatever... Some people are going to ask... "Why didn't he get a contract with the Banda?"

As if last week didn't prove that a protection contract with the Banda is one of the worst investments that you can make, and effectively meaningless, in the end. Hells, I half expect them to be the folk doing the stabbing... All because of some bloodthirsty whim, I suppose...

This is all really depressing... But I don't have much to be joyful over. Zain, I guess. But even if there is some snippet of potential there, well... Someone's going to ruin it, aren't they? And this time it won't even be me, because I really, really, really want to do things right, this time.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tammuz 30th, IY 7788

Zain's dying.

Not much else to say about that. He's dying. I can't do anything about it. I'll be forced to watch him die, slowly. It'll be painful. Not much else but pain and sorrow, of late. Maybe it makes things meaningful...

Not really... Not alone, anyhow. That's just an excuse people tell themselves... Meaning can spring forth from any emotion. It's just that around here, sorrow's the most common.

I also found out that even with my raise, a lot of people make far more than my Scribe's wage... Some of them have been whining about my money for months. Yet they make far more, themselves. Fucking hypocrites.

Right now, most of my income's from my books and various odd jobs, anyhow. I don't think there's any point in telling them that. Some lunatic will just get the notion that my book sales are paid through the Stele, or something else inane like that, and refuse to believe anything else, because they're incapable of letting go of the first whim that surges through their tiny little pea brain.

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Otherwise, I've just been sleeping. A lot more. I've also been mending uniforms for my colleagues. I like it. In fact, I like it far more than any Assembly. Maybe it's just distracting enough. But it does also feel like I'm actually helping...

Distractions are nice.

Looking back at my time here... I've taken a lot of steps backwards. But I don't really mind... I've started from scratch, before. Plenty of times. There's a weird comfort to it.

Loss, on the other hand...

You don't get used to it. Some folk say that you do, but... They didn't get used to it. They just stopped caring. There's a big difference.

Last of Tammuz... But I don't think the tears will cease.

A letter to Hadas Apter-Ziskind.

Haz,

I'm ditching the Qadiran idea. They don't deserve any of the attention. Much as I laughed at the pirate with the three peg legs, myself... Not worth the effort. Or the risks.

I have a few other ideas. Well, I have a lot of ideas, but only a few of them are actually good.

Bit of a veering, but I was considering something a little more serious, for a change. Still got plenty of ideas for comedy... again, most of them shit... but I also want to try something new. One's more autobiographical. Not the pretentiously serious kind, mind you. Plenty to laugh about when it comes to my life.

List's attached. Tell me if any of them would sell. And tell Reyhan I said "hello". Just in fancier words than that.

Bashir

[close]

A letter from Doctor Vijaya Bollimunta.

Bashir.

Please come to my office. As soon as possible. It is important.

I am not angry. About last time.

It was worrying. But I am not angry.

Bring Tonka.

Doctor Vijaya Bollimunta.

[close]

An entry from another journal.

TAMMUZ 30TH IY 7788

HIS TEMPORAL LENGTHS ARE FILLED WITH SUCH DOLOR THAT IT IS ABSORBED INTO MY BEING SYNCHRONOUSLY.

HE INSISTS ON STATING THAT "IT IS NO TROUBLE", YET THE ANTIPODE IS TRUE. IT IS A LOT OF TROUBLE.

WHAT A CURIOUS PERSONAGE.

I DESPISE NINETY NINE PERCENTAGE OF PERSONAGES, YET I DO NOT DESPISE HIM.

I DESPITE THAT.


ABSORBED KNOWLEDGE FOR THE WEEK OF TAMMUZ 22ND

WAYFINDERS WARDINGS VOL I

MUSICAL HISTORY OF EPHIA'S WELL

THE REPUBLIC BETRAYED (INCOMPLETE REMNANTS)

A THEORY ON FATE AND FATIDICAL MANIPULATION

THE PAST IS DEAD – EMBRACE THE IMMINENT

[close]

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 1st, IY 7788

I missed a lot yesterday... Apparently they killed the Cabin "Prince"... I heard they beheaded him, and everything... That doesn't really make me feel much. I guess I'm kind of glad he's dead, but it doesn't bring Alejandro back. Gedwyr assaulted Blackvale, too, because he's apparently being a burglar, now. Disgusting rat... I'm not sure why exactly he gets to walk around as if nothing happened. Or the rest of the "court", for that matter. Makes the First Seat look corrupt, and the Fourth Legion incompetent.

Which they probably are.

One of the sadder things after Alejandro's death has been some of his supposed "friends" engaging in disgusting gossip regarding him... Well, I'm not sure if they're directly engaged in it themselves, but they still associate with people who are doing it. Absolutely reprehensible behavior... I feel so sorry for Elias, too. He genuinely loved Alejandro, and these "friends" just stand there ineffectually while Alejandro's beau is treated like shit...

Don't know if I'll be able to even feign trusting them, now... They're absolutely horrible people.

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Dante really made Malik mad... So mad that he was going to cut off his tongue. His doggy tongue, because he was a dog, again. I don't really get it... Anything about it, really, because it was really weird, just in general. I kind of want to see a fight between a man and a mandog... Kind of. I mean, if it was an actual dog, I wouldn't want to, but since it's a mandog, it's probably less morally questionable.

I visited my doctor, Vijaya Bollimunta, and she told me to stop drinking... Completely. I asked if it would be fine to have a nightcap, every now and then, but she said no... I have to stop it forever, or my liver is going to actually explode... Also, I'm apparently a really embarrassing drunk, but she's the first to tell me that... Well, she isn't, but she's the first person that I actually respect, to tell me that... I think I care about avoiding embarrassment more than my liver, so... I'm going to follow her treatment, which is... drinking two spoonfuls from this flask that she gave me. And after the flask is empty, I can't drink a drop of alcohol, ever again! Or my liver will explode.

And I'd probably embarrass myself even more if I kept going! Because it would be more likely with an exploded liver, come to think of it... So I'll be following her prescription to the letter!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 2nd, IY 7788

Some folk keep asking me to return to the Vizier's position... I'm sure that they mean well, but they're effectively asking me to torture myself for no reason, so... Not going to happen. Mending uniforms is a giant leap backwards, but... At least nobody's yelling at me about it. Not yet, anyhow... I'm sure that someone will.

I had a long talk with Elias... Well, it was mostly just me whining about my job, but he didn't seem to mind. He's had to talk with a lot of assholes in the past few days, so, listening to a lesser asshole was probably a nice change... I do hope that he'll have better days ahead. Not that it seems very likely... Azimi's being even more awful than usual. She's pretty much trying to ruin Elias' reputation, because she didn't get jack shit from Alejandro. I have no idea why she expected anything in the first place, anyhow...

It was obvious that I had to update my own will, but... I think I'm going to add an Azimi clause, there. In gigantic, bold lettering... Simply to ensure that everyone knows that she has nothing to do with my will, that she isn't a friend of mine in any way, and that she has absolutely no fucking say in my will or any of my possessions.

Of course, that'll probably be utterly pointless, because she'll claim that anyhow, all the while some of the folk that call themselves my "friends" will be doing nothing to stop her, because they'll find it inconvenient.

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There's a new store in the Palm Heights...? Angelica's...? She's having a fashion contest. I want to take part... But I'll probably lose... I don't know, I've been lacking motivation and self-esteem, lately. I kind of have some ideas, I guess... It's just that Alejandro had such great taste, and I kind of don't feel even trying without his advice.

I do want to give it a try, but it's just that... Someone will yell at me for trying. I just know it... I'm so fucking tired of people yelling at me... Even when I'm just trying to give folk a little joy, I get yelled at, and it's fucking awful...

The medicine that my doctor, Vijaya Bollimunta, gave me, tastes awful... And I keep seeing wine everywhere, so it's been really difficult... But I'll still keep at it. I don't want my liver to explode in a humiliating fashion...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 3rd, IY 7788

Blackvale's trial felt strange... Even though I was obviously glad that he was punished in some form for what he did to Alejandro and Elias... even if the trial wasn't directly about that... It also, in some strange way, felt like just another trial among many. Maybe I've been transcribing too many of them. Atticus' approach to jurisprudence is peculiar... Choice combined with brutality... I'm not sure if it will set a precedent or not.

I really don't like going to Il Modo... Well, the city is nice enough, but that Paula is such a ruthlessly talented politician that it scares me. I did try to get Balstan to haggle the barrels down to a far lower amount, but he kind of just ended up circling back to the beginning, and now we're giving them a hundred barrels for simply attending Kardesler... I think they're going to show up just to make fun of us. I wouldn't be surprised of that at all...

A hundred barrels is a massive amount. The previous two already caused a rather sizeable scandal, so... I can't wait to see how much noise folk are going to make about this.

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Tomorrow's Kardesler...

I feel like vomiting.

I'm not sure if it's the medicine, or the knowledge that I'll be dead within a few days.

Probably both.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

MARIBEH 4TH, IY 7788

MY ROOMMATE IS SHIRKING FROM HIS RESPONSIBILITY OF ABSORBING AND SHARING KNOWLEDGE. BECAUSE OF THIS I AM SUPPLANTING HIM FOR TODAY.

MARTIN OF ASHBURY IS A MOST CURSED PERSONAGE. FOUL OCCURRENCES SURROUND HIS PASSING THROUGH THE SPATIO-TEMPORAL PLANE. TODAY I HAVE CALCULATED A TOTAL OF 21 SEPERATE ACCIDENTS. YESTERDAY THEY ACCOUNTED 53. HOWEVER THIS WAS THE AMOUNT THAT I CALCULATED THROUGH MY TWELVE SENSES AND IT IS VERY LIKELY THAT SOME OCCURRENCES WERE NOT REGISTERED DESPITE THEIR PERFECT TUNING AS MY SENSES ARE NOT OMNIPRESENT.

MY ROOMMATE SUSPECTS MARTIN OF ASHBURY OF CONSUMING HIS TAILORING KIT. DESPITE HIS PECULIAR ESSENTIA IT IS A FACT THAT THE CONSUMPTION MUSCULATURE OF PERSONAGES MAKES THIS HIGHLY UNLIKELY.

TONKA, NUISANCE OF AGES, KEEPS SNIFFING MY HOME AND GURNING. THIS IS DUE TO HER IMPERFECT MEMORY. IF THE AROMA OF MY ABODE OF GLASS IS TRULY SO LOATHSOME TO HER LIMITED SENSES THEN SHE WOULD SIMPLY STOP DOING SO IF SHE WAS CAPABLE OF RETAINING SIMPLE INFORMATION.

PREDOMINANTLY SHE IS FAR LESS OF A NUISANCE IN THE PRESENT TEMPORAL GATHERING. AS SUCH I AM EXCHANGING HER COGNOMEN TO "BOTHERATION OF PARTICULAR MOMENTS". THIS ELOQUENT HONORIFIC IS MOST SUITABLE FOR HER.

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MY ROOMMATE ABSORBS MEDICAMENT INTO HIS BEING THROUGH THE AID OF A CURVED IMPLEMENT. HE FEELS NO POSITIVE PASSIONS OVER THE CONSUMPTION OF THIS MEDICAMENT. I ABSORBED SOME OF THE MEDICAMENT INTO MY OWN BEING AND IT WAS THE FOULEST CORPOREITY THAT I HAVE EVER BROUGHT INTO MYSELF. MY THOUGHT PATTERNS ADVOCATE HIM TO STOP THE ABSORPTION. YET HE STATES THAT NOT DOING SO WILL CAUSE THE ELIMINATION OF ONE OF HIS FLAWED ORGANS.

MY ROOMMATE'S BEING IS VERY DISCONSOLATE. THIS IS DUE TO MANY OF HIS ADHERENTS UNDERGOING SOUL DELIVERANCE. HE ENVISAGES THIS OCCURRING TO HIS BEING ALSO. AS THE PERSONAGES OF THE WELL OF EPHIA ARE DECIDEDLY DESTRUCTIVE SUCH IS HIGHLY PROBABLE. 

I WOULD PRESERVE HIM, YET MY TRUE FORM CAN ONLY LAST FOR A RELATIVE INSTANT IN THIS SPATIO-TEMPORAL PLANE.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 5th, IY 7788

What a strange affair Kardesler was... And so full of surprises!

The first surprise was who showed up! I wasn't expecting Tlonsiyya, or Banafsi... And certainly not those exiled dwarves of Got Valdhazr! It finally solved the mystery of who was living in that fortress... It's a bunch of really depressed dwarves! Domhnall would've loved these guys... If they weren't originally fom High Kulkund... Which comes first, the revolutionary camaraderie or the sad solidarity?

The second surprise... Marcellus just gave Kha'esh everything they wanted without even trying to negotiate! If it wasn't him, I'd start fearing that they put some form of... geese... on him... Whatever the magickally oriented folks call that curse that makes you do dumb shit! But it's Marcellus, so he probably thought that was a good idea. Maybe he was really tired, and wanted to get a nap, as soon as possible...?

The third surprise... My own negotiations went as well as they could've, really. I didn't screw up too badly, anyhow... I managed to get us right on the path to opening trade with Tlonsiyya! Of course, folk were asking me why I didn't push for more... They really should take a look at Narwen's wondrous map, and see where Tlonsiyya is located! Their poor city can't afford to make any major commitments to any side of another war, fought in the shadows...

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Also, folk were also saying that the Vice-Chancellor was flirting with me... and that I was flirting with him! That's utter nonsense! I just really like his bravado, and attitude in general... And I guess he might like me, too. Just because we're both members of the Velvet Connoisseur Club, doesn't mean that we can't be just friends! Or chums... Or acquaiantances...

Oh, and King Osiron was as nutty as this maamoul that I'm eating! Which is delicious, by the way... Anyhow, he's crazy, and I kind of expect Ephians to be dumb enough to think that he's actually giving us a million men... I mean, they did think that Qadira was actually giving us warships, before, so... That's nice.

Anyhow, I'm really nervous about Angelica's contest... I have been designing endlessly, and now I have this really pretty dress, inspired by Akna, but I'm still not entirely sure about the top... Well, not endlessly, I only had a day to design, really, because my tailoring kit was missing... And Martin got it back! I need to return the favor, somehow. I think I'll buy him a dozen dozens... yes, a dozen dozens... of sausage rolls! I don't know where they sell them, though...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 6th, IY 7788

I won Angelica's contest! I thought that I was going to lose, for sure... I've been having problems with self-esteem, lately... I was so sure that either Meadow or Zaheera would win! Meadow's design was highly utilitarian... While Zaheera's was simply stylish! I also liked how comfy and cozy Cogsworth's wizardly pajamas looked... I was so surprised that I won! It's just that lately, I've been so used to people telling me that I'm doing good work even though I'm not... So, that kind of affects my tailoring, as well.

Now, our prize for winning... Angelica wants us to work as designers for her shop, and maybe even as judges for future contests! Both of those sound really fun, so, I look forward to helping! Though judging sounds difficult, because I don't want to be too mean... I wonder how many folk will be buying our first designs...? Will "The Boreal Breeze" prove to be the... hottest... No, "hottest" doesn't really work for it... The freshest in style, for folk of good taste? 

I'm just not sure how long I can keep helping, or keep living, in general... Lately, the town feels so dangerous... I'm pretty sure someone's been following me. There's a lot of doors opening and closing behind me, even though I can't see anyone... I think somebody's sneaking around, and they're going to shank me, soon...

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And I don't even know why, I guess because of rumors...? A lot of folk say that I'm so rich, yet then there's folk who walk around with at least five times as much money than me, and they're never mentioned in such gossip... A lot of folk assume that I have political power, too...? I don't... I just mend and design uniforms, now... I only talked to the Vice-Chancellor because they didn't have anyone else that knows him that well... Even my seat on the War Council is highly questionable, because it's just me giving advice that goes ignored. I guess they listen to what I know about the city states, so, I really am a tour guide, at this point.

I just wish that I could keep designing clothes, helping my colleagues, doing my hobbies... Write a book or two, here and there... But I don't think that's on the cards, anymore. Ephians are crazy enough that I'm more scared of them than the war...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 7th, IY 7788

They finally made that jaunt off to the Goreheart with the magick carpet, to scout it out... It sounds absolutely awful there! Anyhow, they managed to come back, but a lot of people almost died... And Isadora did die, unfortunately. Apparently her head exploded and a bunch of nasty blood monsters came out of it! That's so gross, and so disgusting, and so wrong, and so absolutely awful that it should have never happened! Poor Isadora... Scouting seems like dangerous work...

Anyhow, now that they've finally scouted it out, at least once... I am wondering if Pook Ulbo's wife is finally free. If I had to guess... I would bet on "no". I think Pook Ulbo's going to be renting that carpet for the rest of his life, and his wife is just going to have to get used to living in the basement of some unsavory types... I mean, I've read a few shoddy novelettes where the kidnappee falls in love with the kidnapper! Maybe that can actually happen, for real...?

Oh, and apparently Narwen made a mistake, or something, and a lot of folk were angry at her... I feel so sorry for her! And Sister Selsi was napping or something while folk needed more cures for Stern's disease...?

As for some better news, Angelica's was finally opened! Plenty of folk came to the Palm Heights to gawk at the fashionable fashions, the stylish styles, and the tasteful tastefulness... So, the absolutely fabulous clothes on display! The prices are quite high, but who can really put a price on fashion...? Well, Angelica can, and so can I, now. But that's besides the point... People were rather impressed, but I don't think anyone bought the dress I designed. That's fine... Even if it's just Eclair wearing it, at least folk seem to love it...? Not enough to wear it, seemingly, but... And now I made myself kind of peeved. Fuck!

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I do have some more designs in the works. Most, if not all, are for women...

The Spice of Life: Inspired by the fancy ladies that browse the Souk, occasionally! It's a rather fancy gown... Originally, it was supposed to be an orange velvet, with some mica, for a really ostentatious touch... But I made it a little too orange. There has to be more subtleties beyond the sparkly mica!

The Heron: I wanted to have something inspired by our state bird, even though my problems with them are well known... Anyhow, all my ideas with herons are really revealing, so, this one has a lot of thigh showing. I guess it's the long heron legs. Whatever. It's kind of like a qipao mixed with a loincloth. I don't know what I was thinking... I kind of feel like scrapping this one.

The Secretary: The name's kind of boring, but I have this idea for a really fancy yet utilitarian uniform, meant for clerks or officers... Stylish jacket that goes down to the waist, thigh high boots that are still tasteful... Leggings...? I might ask the Chief Scribe if she'd be interested in this one...

???: I had a dream of a sorceress... She was surrounded by a dead wasteland, and I do mean dead, even deader than now! Anyhow, what's more important was that she was wearing this fancy robe, marred by time... So, the fine, once crimson robe, had become a lot more subdued, and the metallic accents had stained, due to the constant grinding of ash and sand against them... This one's kind of depressing.

Oh, and Balstan tried on a top hat, and cloak, and he looked like a pimp! He was really only missing a cane to smack some streetwalkers...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 8th, IY 7788

Dante the Dogdiri said that I should try to make Zain believe in living, so that we can have have many happy memories in the years to come... The first problem is that Zain is really stubborn, and I probably can't convince him of that. I mean, there was that one time he nearly jumped off the Mount, and all I managed to do was to get an extra day before he would've done that, so... It was Alejandro who managed to defuse the situation. And I obviously can't ask for his help now, so...

The second problem is that I'm not sure if there are any happy days to be had, in the future. I'd still share sad moments with him, rather than anyone else...

Azimi and Margarine really wanted to speak to Hypatia... They made it such a public affair, that I simply had to help, before it became utterly embarassing... But, in the search for Hypatia, not only did Dante the Dogdiri ring the Priory's bell fifty times... But I also accidentally saw Margarine and Caddick holding hands in the Torchbearer Hall's bedroom! I really didn't want to see that! Mostly because it made Margarine really mad. Partially because I prefer to see cute guys holding hands...

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Anyhow, in the end, it turned out that Hypatia was doing boardwork, which made Azimi and Hypatia really mad. At least for a spell. Boardwork is the latest fad among the Sisterhood... I'm not sure why! I considered the possibility of the Cup being found in a goblin's cupboard, but Azimi used her wondrous divining powers to clarify that the Cup would never be found during any boardwork, whatsoever...

Maybe it's just good exercise. Though you would think they'd get plenty of that through carrying all those big ol' wine barrels...

I lost my tailoring kit, again... I really need to stop leaving it on the desk at the office. If even for a minute or two... But I was so distracted! Someone brought in some chocolate babka! I could never resist such a tasty treat...

Oh, and the election started. I'm not sure if I have to do some form of election outfits...? Probably not. I hope not. Elections don't really stir the creative spirit in me...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 9th, IY 7788

The meeting of the Purple was mostly a quiet affair, this time around, but... Aaisha fired Arymathras, because he was being a weirdo, and not wearing his uniform, and well, in general, he's not been doing his job at all... And then, to top it off, he started badmouthing the League after being told to leave...? What a weird guy. I'm not sure at all why he applied to be a Scribe...? He mispriced one license, which is fine, even if he really should've asked, or... well, read the damn slab of rock with the prices listed. After that, I tried my best to get to know him, so I could give him assignments that he'd like, but... He refused to speak with me, or any of his other colleagues? It was just plain weird.

Certainly one of the strangest hires we've ever had... But with all this politickry going on, I expect people to call him "diligent", despite him not doing his job at all. I really don't get some of the people that apply for the job... Utter weirdos. There's a Stonefolk of few words that applied recently, and I certainly hope that he's actually sane!

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Anyhow, I've been looking for models for some of my designs, because I'm not sure if they fit anyone else other than humans... The courses I did were strangely focused on them, so, I know their measurements by heart. Well, Elara was interested in modeling them, so, I had her try them on.... Turns out that human and elven measurements can be so different that most of them didn't fit her at all! Elves are simply so petite that everything looked like a sack of potatoes on her. So, I'm scrapping two of three designs... I've no interest in designing clothes only for humans, that's just bad business!

So, I'm left with the "Spice of Life"... It needs a lot of work, still. Difficult cloth to work with, doesn't take kindly to most of the pigments that I have, so... Figuring out the color alone will take ages! Especially considering that I still haven't found my tailoring kit! I'm so distraught over its loss... But it has to be somewhere in the Pyramid!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 10th, IY 7788

I had some wine, accidentally... Old habit, didn't even realize what I was doing until the top of the bottle was on my lips, and the wine reached my tongue... It tasted awful. And I do mean awful... I guess that's kind of a good thing. I just wish my habits weren't so compulsory... and that I had more healthy sources of joy.

The new Junior Scribe, Rur Nok, seems competent enough... I hope that I can help him get started, here. When it comes to careers, that's all I can really hope for, at this point. Helping others with theirs. I'm kind of obsolete, myself, and just stick to the office, aiding my colleagues when I can. It's a curious feeling. I like helping, but it's kind of a pain knowing that I'm stuck, myself, with no hope of advancing further. Gate to Baz'eel's closed, if it ever was open to begin with.

Hopefully the guy starts speaking more, difficult to know what directions should be given, when the destination is uncharted...

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Dante's a real weird guy... He even has a monkey writing for him when he's a donkey? I mean dog. I don't really get it. Is the monkey another Nadiri, that's been cursed with spontaneous animalitude...? It's all odd... Also, I think Eclair's starting to lose her patience with me... I was just curious about what was going on with Dante, and his dog curse, but she seemed a bit peeved that I was there. I guess I should just stick to work... Even if all these weird events are the only interesting thing that I have in my days with my tailoring kit still being missing.

Also... There was a riot in the Souk? I don't really know what about. The Union and their shop? I haven't got a clear idea. Folk don't really tell me much, these days. And when they tell me something, it's usually a bunch of bullshit. So, even if someone told me something, I'm not sure if I could trust them, much.

To be honest, if I did get a job offer from Alkab, or Il Modo, anywhere else at all, as long as there was some semblance of safety... I'd probably take it, at this point.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 11th, IY 7788

I hate Stern. Embarassing me in front of so many people... I don't want to speak to her, ever again. Whenever someone talks ill of her, now, I won't even try to point out that she's at least competent on some level... It'll be all white noise, now. And if she wants to be part of some delegation, just so that she can stand in the back, hood up, like a lost, shy puppy with a cold, I'll vote for some other Apothar, because at least they'll be doing something.

And Elias, in turn, doesn't want to speak to me, it seems... I cried for a while, because he just left, seeming rather disappointed with me... Maybe he doesn't like that I'm still hanging around with Eclair. I don't know... She's such a good friend, though... Even if it took a while for her to look for me after Stern was a rude idiot towards me...

I couldn't even gamble to cheer myself up, because the den was closed. I think everyone there was reassigned to the riots...? I don't know. I just wanted to play some Royal Dragon...

Narwen did talk to me too, though, and she cheered me up, like always. She's a great friend... I just wish I could do more for her, myself.  But her problems seem to always be tied to stuffs and things that I can't really do much about... Unless it's just her being sad, then I can at least try to lift her spirits!

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Also... Grandpa Danebluff punched Zuli because he's scared of sneaks? I think he's going senile. I should walk around really loudly, when I'm around him, just so that he doesn't mistake me for a sneak! Oh, and I should figure a way for Zuli to be safe from such brutes...

Also, also... A bunch of people went to some dangerous island, because this skeevy Modini asked them. They didn't even ask how much the job pays! And I think that Modini's engaging in the exploitation of penal labor! I think that island is where the Modini send anyone that they don't like, just so that they can have a labor force for free! Because this is my journal, I can just call it what it is... Slavery! In public, some pedants with brain damage would go "well, akshtually, because of my brain damage chausing my teeny weeny brain to be infhected with pointlessh pedanthry, I don't shee thish as shlavery", because that always happens.

Also, also, also... Azimi was chasing that lady from Gohari around, apparently, for some reason. Maybe they have a doll machine?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 12th, IY 7788

The Balladeers banned animals from around the Verdant Stage... That's so dumb! I don't know why, Tonka's such a well-behaved lady... But now we can't really go there, since she spends a lot of time napping in my bag... It's unfair! The Balladeers also have a cat... and a big ol' wolf... so, I don't know why it's such a big problem to have some pets in the audience.

I haven't seen Welly in a long while, but he showed up, and asked me for some help! It was surprising, and it was such a weird request... I'll help him, if I can, but I don't really know why he came to me regarding that? I hope others don't associate me with that, because it's embarassing.

Gulgrea is one of the new refugees, and she's interested in becoming a Torchbearer... She has a big ol' bow, and she used to live on the back of a groknak...? In fact, the groknak had an entire Tablet on its back? That's one giant groknak! I think living on the back of a giant groknak would be interesting, but wouldn't there be a lot of shaking and quaking...? All my pots and pans would fly all over the place while the groknak journeyed through the dunes! I don't think I'd like that very much...

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Anyhow... Alric quit! To study archaeology... He said that he'll be back once he graduates, but I don't know... I kind of have a suspicion that he'll just become a full-time archaeologist, instead. I'm really disappointed, because we really don't get a whole lot of hires like him... Diligent Scribes are so hard to find. I think there's just Rur Nok, now, and I don't want him to have too much work... I'm not sure where Horton is. He came back from his vacation and immediately disappeared!

Kind of makes me envious... I'm just stuck here. Though I'm not sure what I'd even study if I could just decide to do so on a whim. I don't think that they teach tailoring, there. And it seems like such a shitty school, to begin with... I'm not going to tell Alric that, though.

So... More work. It all feels pointless, really. At least I make enough to pay the bills, I guess.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Maribeh 13th, IY 7788

I still haven't found my tailoring kit... So, I've just been drafting ideas for the next Hardacre... or next book, in general, I haven't really decided on what I want to do. There's a lot of time for ideas... I get so much downtime, lately. Even with how many Scribes there are, the uniforms don't get damaged that often, and it's not like I'm the only one mending them...

To fall from such a relative height, to this... Maybe there is an air of humiliation to it. I think to anyone else, it'd be a punishment, the kind of assignment that's designed to break you. But I don't really mind the labor... At least I'm fixing something, and my colleagues are at least thankful for it. Even if some do find it funny that it's me doing it...

It is a little funny.

For a moment there, I thought that maybe this was it. Keep laboring as a Scribe, find something I'm good at, achieve a position important enough to carry some weight behind it, then use it to help others, maybe get out of this hellhole and do that from somewhere safer...

Naive.

Mending these holes in these uniforms achieves more than I could ever hope to achieve as the Vizier. And all I need to protect myself from pricks, here, is a thimble...

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And even though this is helpful, I'm still not sure why so many folk are so insistent that I stay here. Especially to such an extent that I get a gaggle of Sisters following me around, as if that's just a regular thing that happens to everyone. On occasion, I feel like it's all just a cruel joke, for some. "Let's keep this asshole stuck in this job that makes him miserable, and keep telling him that he's good at it!"

And to others... Well, they just need someone to sell licenses, really. They can choke on them, for all I care. If someone ran for Legate on a platform dedicated to eradicating licensure from existence, I'd probably vote for them.

It isn't all bad, though... I taught Tonka how to do backflips. And frontflips... She did get a little too excited, and kept doing them, which made her dizzy for a while. It was really cute.