A Leaf-Bound Journal

[MAGIC]

Vico Rasco
Hziran 25, 7788

[MAGIC]

Alejandro is dead. Tempo is dead. Devlin is dead.

I was told that I could pick something of his. A memento to remember him by. And so I held his shield in my hands. That my friend would be reduced to this... picking through his things for a physical token to remember him by. But it is a good token. I look at the shield on my shelf and I remember the times we spent together. I smile.

His funeral is today. I will have to say something.

[MAGIC]

The bad feelings are coming back.

I feel alone despite being surrounded by my family. It is not logical but matters of the heart rarely are.

They need me to be strong and so I smile for their sake.

I look at my friends and wonder if they are going to die. I know that all things die eventually but I don't want them to die a meaningless death. I don't want them to die trying to get some rocks for the Astronomers. Can I still talk them out of it?

I showed Aletta how to make a paint that glows when you sing a certain way.

[MAGIC]

I might die tomorrow.

I've faced death and terrifying situations before. But they were for things that I thought were worth doing. Causes that I thought were worth the risk.

That is not what is happening here. The Astronomers want more bloodstar samples. What will they do with them? How will it help them 'destroy' the Goreheart, as they claim it will? I do not know. I do not see the path from here to there.

The Seer said it is suicide. The community has said that someone must go. We must help even if it is against our better judgement.

I suppose it is best that it is me. Maybe I will finally prevent the deaths of one of my family.

~

This Kardesler was interesting. Watched the Arbiter closely. Observed the movement of his feet and hands. Listened to the cries he made. Wondered if it was a practice that is passed down from generation to generation. Do they find apprentices to teach? Or is there but one Arbiter preserved through time?

Left with a feeling of hope. Arrival of Got Valdhazr was unexpected. Messengers were to be sent to Deep Kulkund so I expected the dwarven war-horns be heralding their arrival.

Concerned that the Kha'Esh War Master will focus solely on the East.

It is a terrible thing, to have to be a Master of War.

I think about the lessons of the Spring. The lessons of the Worldborn.

I try to reconcile all of these things.

Reconciliation takes time.

If you hack and tear at a branch you damage the tree.

I dearly hope my sisters will come to see that.

We should not seek to damage ourselves in our discernment.

Her words tore at me. I forgive her, but I feel so isolated from everyone else.

~

Shared some of my thoughts on heirophany with Sister Nebtu. They all seem so interested in my thoughts. Yet they never want to discuss it collaboratively. My fellow acolytes aren't ready for this yet. I want to help them understand but it must be a gradual realization. Charity is but a bird, a fine bird, but she doesn't understand these kinds of things either. Alejandro was close to understanding what I am grasping at, but he was so busy. And I am so busy.

~

Found some more chaos mist.

[MAGIC]

I survived. I'm good at that.

Forgot to give Clarissant the Cure in the midst of the fighting and the panic. She didn't say anything.

Found another bottle in my pack. Could have sworn I gave out all nine.

I did as I was told and drank it. I knew what it could mean. I hoped that my memory was playing tricks on me, as it sometimes does, and that a tenth bottle was hidden even from my thoughts. I knew that was unlikely.

I am relieved that nobody else died because of that decision.

The ninth is a serpent with mouth agape.

~

It is speaking again.