To the Janissaries

[Stranger]

Exemplary Janissaries of the 4th Legion,

I have been made aware, now by a shocking number of independent sources, that you have targeted me in some sort of personally motivated investigation. I have been told by many of these contributors that you intend to act "soon." This is all very concerning, of course, as we had known such a cordial relationship as colleagues and contemporaries; I would hate to see those bridges burned by a rash, emotional decision.

Through a few well-placed gifts, I have reviewed your case files. I am much concerned by what I have seen; concerned by how humiliating it would be for you to raise charges against a fellow servant of a Sultan and have every single claim dismissed. The damage to the reputation of the Janissaries would be bleak indeed. Could the public still trust the Misfortune to protect us?  Should state funds continue to support the garrison? Is it time for the Cinquefoil Rose to take a greater role in maintaining order? All questions that, as a loyal reporter of truth and justice, I would become duty-bound to raise in the Empty Gallows newspaper. And as a faithful subject of His Sublime Grace, I would deeply mourn the emergent need for such reporting.

Certainly, I do not need to state the far-reaching consequences of marring the Palatial Pyramid with a swarm of soldiers or a public arrest; particularly not one thinly justified by the normal business of the Scribes! It is a vast, necessary bureaucracy that runs our Citadel. A pall of regret would hang for months, perhaps years, over any action that leaves its thousand Scribes hesitant to interact with the Fourth Legion.

And then there's the timely return of Constantine Diakos! Such a boon to our settlement! Such an eminent statesman! Such an icon of wisdom! How wonderful that he has come back to us! Don't you think so? I certainly do.

Are you very sure that you want to do this?

Are you very sure that raising hollow, empty charges is worth the fresh tides of bad luck which would surely follow?

If you are, then I suppose I'll see you in court. I feel quite prepared to meet you there.

Humbly yours,
Shane Gallows
Fully Voiced Citizen
Scribe of the Sublime Gardens
Advocate in the Halls of Jurisprudence
License Administrator for the Palatial Pyramid
Editor-in-Chief to the Empty Gallows Printing Press
Liaison with the Political Leagues of Ephia's Well
... and a Perfectly, Distinctly Innocent Man

[I love cats]

[Scarbork can be seen chuckling at reading the letter and then adding it to a rather large case file.]