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Bought two wands but don't know how to use wands. Didn't wanna say it because that'd be embarrassing.

Jazar try to talk to exciting people who like him embrace the inevitable doom of this Disc. Alas, he is met with only Do-Good'ers and Ne'erdowrongs! "We will fix the Disc"... What?

You are not GODS! Not even are you Colossi. Small little shits just like Jazar. All these grand ideas coming from Priory and College... Ha-ha, Jazar does not read idiot poems and definitely not Asterbadi.

There is Pale Dwarves that understand the doom and death of everything but they just toil somberly and give Jazar many sad feelings. So maybe if Pale Dwarf becomes a Balladeer, they'd accept the doom and make many feasts. Yes. That would make good friend for me. Pale Dwarf the Balladeer.

But does not exist. No friends.

LEGATE DRAGON,

JAZAR has let them know.

They granted, Banda likes Gold.

Please let me know what desires the Legate of Jazar.

PREPARATOR TARIQ SALAH,

JAZAR makes letter.

Wishes make proposition: Jazar 250 coin/week for protection of Twindari faithful, currently extending to Tariq & Amon and protection of (prayer) rituals and/or burials.

This also enabled Jazar to follow Twindari faithful around without being whipped by bosses for useless loitering. Jazar would like to express he has serious considerations to convert from Wroth to Twins and wishes to utilize this time to learn.

Would not mind wear ritual garb and or stone mask i.e.

Very cheap, yes? Make start career of Recluta who scratch your back.

Also wish make note of Jazar's current application as Palatial Executioner and Legate responding initially well.
Execution of guilty criminals within domain of Twindari? Would make respectful end yes.

If questions please find Jazar in person who is happy to talk always.

[Wine, beer and drool stains are splatterred across this particular paper and blob of ink decorates the corner.]

DEAR MISS ROSSEAU,

Please grant me your blessing.

JAZAR

Attachment: original letter & Legate reply.

//https://www.efupw.com/forums/index.php?topic=710870.0

ESTEEMED LEGATE DRAGON,

Writes to you now is Recluta Jazar Bazan with application.

Wish to engage you or perhaps broader; the Palatial Pyramid (though I address you for I feel most close to your platform); with an idea for a formal posititon.

I have a creative mind and particular affinity for (righteous) Death.

There appears to be no Executioner in your Court. Instead, the executions are handled by the (purple) Janissaries. Steal this away from them subtly. Less power to them, more to you.

Jazar had already doodled methods of execution, but exempted it from the letter. Due to concerns about coming across professionally...

Thus in letters and text only.

1. Hammer-to-skull, sounds simple? Yes... But make Myth of it. Create special great maul named "The Splash", crowd of macarbe onlooked chanting Splash! Splash! Splash! You can hear, yes? Excitement.

2. Catapult-to-guilty, exploding bodies with a rain of innards as result.

3. Spin The Wheel. Casino game, with faithful spin to it. Spoke it lands on determines execution method.
Unwashed masses: SPIN. THE. WHEEL.
B'aara: Drown Barrel
Agaslakku: Spear Barrel
Izdu: Bludgeon with Asterabadi Book (nobody reads it anyway)
Kula: Orentid Lions (classic)
Gellema: Roll Dice one to six.
one: Drink booze until body failure or drown in booze.
two: Stabbed.
three: Slashed.
four: Pierced.
five: Bludgeoned.
six: Released. (You can fix the Wheel to land on Gellema and fix the Dice to land on Six. Release whoever you want!)
Warad: Release guilty party on the road without mending their health. Prepare hunters ("Waradim") release guilty party count to five. Hunt and kill.
Kalim & Galim: Burry the guilty alive.
Wroth: The guilty party's alledged victim must slay the guilty. Refusal by victim is crime and affront to God. If victim is not present; prosecution may slay the guilty.
(Ninth Spoke): Snake pit <-- OPTIONAL!!

4. Throw down from Palatial Pyramid ashsail dock or Q'tolip's cliffs. Maybe I aim the guilty down on someone you dislike. Oops mistake. (Use Spyglass before launch)

5. Private execution (maybe you need to fuel a ritual?) Jazar sees, hears and remembers nothing.

6. Burn at stake, Jazar is good with oil flasks and torches. Traditional. Maybe there is accidentally bomb-barrel placed at stake and someone you dislike has to light the stake and by the Wheel what happened here.

...

Jazar hopes he has demonstrated his potentional but marks that this list could be endless and it mostly would have to be ammended and changed to the will and demands of the Legate(s).


With admiration and respect,

Recluta JAZAR BAZAN

Ephia's Well - What a boring name for a "City" (read: Ruin)!
Waters of Life, bla-bla-bla! B'aara, bla-bla-bla! I am bored right through the gate!

Jazar desires excitement! Yes, I do! I will bow my head to their faith, as I must, what use is it to be a Heathen? None! Jazar has the wisdom to acknowledge that. But, inside of me, I wish for a greater religion to pursue than these Spokes... There's some rumour of Sages but they are revered my Eel-fishers with thin moustaches and that is not more desirable!

DJINNI? Now that is exciting! But Jazar will not have them eat him up for second breakfast.
No no. Throw them out the window.

Let Jazar focus on LIFE, yes? LIFE has excitement. So many things to crush with hammer! What did I have a taste of? Worms. Yes, tough meat! Chewy, PUH! Spit it out, not good. Then beetles yes, with strong... What do you call it? Not hide, no... Damnation. I am a fool. SHELL? Cracks! Cracking sound is pleasing to the ears, this is true. But I want to crush something new, something that the blood explodes out of. Like for example, a huge tick who just had a feast. Did not see any of those around. But imagine!

Would like to crush humans too, but there is law and Jazar will bow his head and follow the rules. Because prison or execution is not desirable, no no. Not for Jazar, no.

Jazar thought; what if he *is* the law? Clever plan, yes, but involves scraping and saluting and paperwork. I would sooner join in a goblin throng's activities than do paperwork. But can salute, know how to!

BANDA ROSSA? Paid to kill, paid to guard, ehh... Exciting? Maybe if contract pleases Jazar, could be exciting? Yes. This is my path. Very good.

Now I go eat second lunch. Barleybread is all I can afford. Disgusting. I deserve meat pie and strong ale. But has none.

Jazar weeps.

Random idea brainstorm.

But I.E. imagine being a B'aara cleric and being able to brew.

Perhaps you could have some signature brews related to B'aara like instead of Cure Serious Wounds you can make B'aara's Cures which is CSW but with a higher CL.

Agasslakku being able to brew a stronger Divine Favor, Warrior's Favor.

A necromancer Wizard spellschool being able to brew stronger inflict wounds (for his undeaddos)

Was just a thought

The same old story as always, Exiled -> Try to have fun -> Bored(and alone).

Nonetheless, my time spend not as Exile and as Exile, was actually suprisingly fun.
Huge thanks to Secutor for giving the Exiled dweeb squad plot, intrigue & interaction to keep us entertained and motivated.
Alas, there was not enough player interest to join the Creep efforts.

Special thanks to Arjuna Namahedu & Crew. (Yayyy murder).
To NND for being exile buddy.
To a bunch of players I won't name to not incriminate them that sought me out in the Creep out of the kindness of their heart.

Nathaniel Blackvale was a total asshole and slimey narcicist. And I think I took *all* of the bad choices that spawned from his irritable personality.

And he was actually the Legate the whole time (proof):




I think I'll try to play something that doesn't end up in the Creep next?

Woof.

Dear Diary,

I don't know what dark powers you possess but raging on your pages causes my problems to be solved. All of a sudden, I have the most brutish and easy to manipulate man in employ. He is made of pure muscle and bloodlust. His yearning for cannibalism is a tad concerning (more than a tad) but that's something I can work around.

Maybe he's strong enough to kill Gedwyr who knows.

But if he messes up, I don't know him!

Cowardice! Complacency! Cantankerous little pests! Even those who Dwell in filth below have no desperation enough to muster the courage required to commit foul murder. Fear of Law grip their hot hearts. Afraid of the lynch-mob of dullard adventurers. Pathetic! Miserable! Must I really resort to doing dirty work myself? Because with one exception, I shan't. It is below me. I have the coin to supply and these dregs are supposed to be working. Simple as. Perhaps though I can lean on the Dark Mesiahs to give these dying cravens some black purpose to make it worth sacrifice. There is wisdom in the faith I have allied, but if I look at my direct neighbors, they too wish for others to commit the actual work. There's little to gain in the Creep it seems when it comes to bloody murder. However for some unfathomable reason, most people seem to deposit information to me free of charge. They view me as so morally corrupt that whatever evil desires they have must pale in comparison and the words they cast my way as some sort of twisted confession won't find it's way into paying clientile's ears. WRONG. I am selling everything you ever told me, fools.

LEGATE DRAGON,

Congratulations on your inevitable victory.
Your opponents were lamed children, but nonetheless, you would've strangled more worthy adversaries aswell.

Now, to business.

I want to give you information and options. That I do not trust your runner(s) with.
There are no others that could open this particular path.

Would you grace me with a visit?



BLACKVALE

It's justice to plot Atticus his arm removal.

My case had no witnesses! They judged me guilty for no reason.

No shadow of a doubt he proclaims.

I will have him guilty and suffering. Vengeance!

If you need me prosecuting or testifying I am here.

Nathaniel