Monks have it pretty hard. Despite good saves and the ability to glide through some pve content, they are still hamstrung by opaque NWN mechanics and group composition. Compared to a class like fencer, monk has a handful of marginally useful features that create needless frustration when compounded with flat-footed or their reliance on spells.
So I'm just going to address two of these problems and suggest a couple of fixes. (TLDR give monks UD and Silken Mail to ease 70% of the frustration with the class.)
Problem: Flatfooted.
This probably accounts for 1/3 of my total deaths on my monk (I have a lot). My ac inexplicably drops while defending against a squad of orcs and suddenly I'm getting hit for rolls of 25. I'm still only vaguely aware of the causes of this condition since it's not signposted on the character sheet. To say that dealing with the flatfooted effect is frustrating as a new player is an understatement. In my opinion it should just be ripped out of the module.
Failing that,
Solution: Uncanny Dodge
Just give monks uncanny dodge at 6 or something. I doesn't make any mechanical sense that a martial should lose so much ac for throwing some caltrops or an alchemist's fire. It makes even less thematic sense that the monk dodge-rolling fireballs between attacks would suddenly forget to duck five attacks in a row.
And of course, I would be able to stop pulling my hair out because my pc suddenly died before I could even click away.
Problem: Buff/group composition dependance.
Monks need too many buffs to be effective. Mage armor, dexterity and wisdom are mandatory. Everything else is a luxury. It usually takes two mages to get everything. And sometimes they just forget or double cast. A monk can fill some of the gaps with trinkets and potions but it's expensive and the short durations create an attention economy hell for a monk player that's also keeping an eye out for taunts, positioning and dispels. Also mage armor potions are a trap if you're not eyeballing their short durations.
Solution: Silken Mail
Fortunately there's a feat that helps with one of the most important buffs. Silken Mail should really just be given to high level monks that have waded through the 7-8-9 hump with potions. It would ease the dependency on casters by a significant margin and help with the mages that just decide to leave mage armor out of their repertoire.
I would even replace improved evasion at 9 with silken mail because I think it would be that much more useful.
So just give monks Uncanny Dodge and Silken mail. They still won't be as good as other classes but they would feel a lot better to play.
Edit: renamed title for clarity
I disagree with most of what you listed here. In fact I think some sort or perk system or a revamp of the monk stances would be much better though I understand time consuming to make when DMs could be making other things.
What I do agree on is that a class that's in cloth fighting and dodging probably should get uncanny dodge, it just never made sense to me really.
That said monks are sort of a challenge but extremely powerful.
I guess my perspective might shift with items and gameplay experience. But it does seem to me that characters that are half my monk's age are progressing much faster and are much more capable. So that's where I'm at.
Monks are very hard to play because they demand aggression in movement and repositioning and consumable use. They don't really get any good until level 8/9 or even 10. So until you've seen a high level monk played well operate it's hard to get an opinion on how good or bad they are.
The lower levels are by far the most annoying.
That said I can't humanly fathom why they wouldn't have uncanny dodge myself.
The problem with monks is twofold: The mage armor changes makes them even more susceptible to dispels than they already were and uncanny dodge means that you can't consistently rely on your AC even when it is high. To say nothing of the fact that AC isn't as significant as other forms of damage mitigation in the current climate.
Monk is just among the variety of classes that is serviceable in EFU right now but not great -- and probably will continue to feel bad until it has some sort of overhaul or rework.
You can play Monk, but don't expect to have it be as smooth sailing as a barbarian.
I feel part of the problem is people try and play monk like a fighter, when in reality it's really more of a Rogue. I know the "Heavyplate Fullplate Rogue" was the meta for a while, but in terms of like - actual finesse rogue.
Finesse rogue with a knife would sneak to the line, carve someone up already engaged, dip out.
Monk plays best kind of the same. Flurry of Blows + Flank fixes all the -AB of flurry of blows with the flanking bonus. KD + stunning fist open them up to huge pushes by the mainline fighters to rip people up like old cabbage, it all lends a lot to that sort of guerilla fighting dip in, rain hell, flee using tumble and move speed to kite around.
A monk can be a scary thing on a battlefield even without Uncanny Dodge as a second line menace.
Not that I don't think they should have Uncanny Dodge, but shifted playstyle does help make them more survivable.
Monks are incredibly powerful, except when they aren't. Which is low level, low gear and low/not ideal buff situations.
Monks are jet engines that sorta need carefully selected fuel to hit orbit.
An option to take Uncanny DOdge as a feat might be a decent place to start. The only part I really hate about monks and flatfooted is it often occurs in completely random nonsense ways like turning a corner, or when you have to chase after someone, or when you aren't yet attacking but aren't really flatfooded in any logical sense. My last monk basically died because I was maneuvering in pvp and got boxed in by worms in the gutters while not attacking anything for a round or two. So I know quite well how dumb it can be.
The overall question is what DMs think Monks are meant to be. I agree with RwG that monks should be hit-and-run problem-gankers who can blitz high-value targets and not get bogged down or killed by spells. Not tanks. A fully buffed, non-flatfooted monk is fucking terrifying. Given their wild saves, Evasion and cheap status effect spam, they need some weaknesses. Supply isn't a real weakness, as a well played monk will have supply coming out of their ears. It's just a frustration until you get your personal economy rolling, and toughest on the least experienced players.
I feel that adding Uncanny Dodge to Ranger made that class work properly, as it means that their armor choices weren't just misery for dual-wielders. However, you don't lose your Monk AC Bonus when flat-footed. And it's quite possible to get +2 Wis from Monk item +Wiseman Brew or Mizzar on top of your base. They still have very respectable AC compared to a Rogue doing a similar job, and insane AC if a high level Druid drops Owl's Insight on them. So if Monks are meant to be guerillas not tanks, they're set up right for it.
I agree that what Monks could do with is Silken Mail as a bonus feat. That way, they always have a solid 4 Armour AC and won't crumble to dust from a Dispel. But they are still fragile. But 9's the wrong place to put it. Monks can't multiclass without an app anyway, so just put it in early to make the early, low supply levels less miserable . e.g. L3-4.
What might also help is to document the stances/make them more clearly available, so people can work with those and play with what's available, rather than having to run on hidden vet knowledge. Similarly, making the hidden door to the Monk shop open if you stand on the trigger zone and have Monk levels. Similar to how there's a wonderful passage in one location that opens either with a Search check or with a Shovel. Monks used to have to embarassingly ask my Ranger to go and open it for them unless they'd amassed a +search/2 Rogue/2 Balanced set. And would have a hell of a time finding it in the first place.