[A simple script.]
NAJELIN
PLEASE OCCASSIONALLY VISIT THE CREEP TO ACCEPT MISSIVES.
I WANT TO BE YOUR CUSTOMER.
KNUD SKARGRIMSSON
BANE OF EPHIA'S WELL
QuoteA mutual acquaintance said it would be wise to make introductions and so it shall be. We will cross paths soon.
-N
QuoteKnow we rarely run into eachother due to the hours we... work - but I need to talk to you or your brother about something. I'll try to swing by between deliveries to see if you're about occasionally but keep an eye out for me.
SKINK
OK. CAN YOU BRING ME SOME SCORCH?
KNUD
Where are brews?
Do I have to make them myself?!
Do you know how many hastes are needed to destroy Ephians!?
KNUD
QuoteHaste makes waste, so they say.
Guy up top said it's dangerous to mix with scorch and that it combusts your brain but it sounded like a guess. Maybe you can contribute to a medical breakthrough. I might know someone who is interested in that sort of thing.
Anyway I will stop by when I can and I might have some treats, no guarantees though.
SKINK
Hello Skink,
Buster has no need to pay for protection.
He left.
That said, I think I beat up part of his crew.
That was not deliberate. Don't cry about it.
I need you for something that is of import to me.
Now that I've spend my riches on a true and proper altar to Agaslakku the Raider.
My coin should be spend on increasing our fame.
I wish you to find bards, painters, artists, stonecarvers, anyone really, rumourmongerers, to receive my coin and increase my fame.
I want a painting of me with an axe, for example. A statue of me. Songs of me.
I want rumours that I beat up Aurelio with my naked fists. It's true! That nobody is stronger than me. Especially not shifty Elves.
Okay? I will pay for quality!! GET ON IT.
This is important to me!!
KNUD
QuoteBuster told me the story. He's a bit upset about losing his coffee business, but tries not to show it. Figure things will be okay.
I'll try to send some people your way who might be brave enough to do the job. If they show up at the Heron sent by the Skink try not to rob them, please. At least for a little while or unless they mouth off or do something stupid.
Think I know just the person for the Aurelio job....
SKINK
Hello Skink,
Where is my Frostportian fish? I am thinking about it every single day.
KNUD
Replies make it back to the rest - the second coming shortly after the firstQuote
The days are hard and long as I learn the ways of your people. I paid well to be mentored by a rough but kindly man by the name of Hjalmar in the ancient Frostportian traditions of net and spear fishing. The cold is bitter but I have resolved to see the task through and the prize delivered so you can get a taste of home.
He sings many songs of Frostport and battles hard fought and won to keep spirits high as we sit by the hole for our prey.
With luck it will be brought soon.
SKINK
QuoteHjalmar fell asleep and fell into the hole. Gods rest his soul.
I will bring the prize home soon. It is what he would have wanted, too.
SKINK
Skink,
You have brought honour to your jarl and clan by delivering these fine fish.
But you have let a Frostportian fall into a hole and drown.
Hjalmar you say his name was?
Hjalmar has seven letters.
Like the seventh spoke - the Martyrs.
You must bring us an awassi goat carcass to honour Hjalmar.
Or else I will have to bring you to trial and I do not wish to do such a thing.
JARL KNUD
Najelin sifts through her daily correspondence while hitting the pipes in Elossi's. A low groan escapes her throat after reading the latest from Knud and she splays out on the cushions around her, rubbing at her temples as if she has a great headache...
Hello Skinky,
I need that very special thing. You know.
No nonsense, I need it. This is a serious letter.
Knud
Skink,
did you get any terms from Asherias yet!?
To battle the fierce warrioress champion of Ephia's Well 'pon bloodsands inside Ephia's Well!
I have yearned for a spectacle like this all my life!!
I'll go ahead and tell you our terms-
If we win, me and Ivar are either made Honorguard, a Palatial Pyramid title.
Or are made Janissary (NOT SCARAB).
And are in both cases, obviously, have our records completely cleared.
And will definitely NOT return any coin or cloaks or stolen goods.
Returning cloaks is a bit difficult anyway since we burned them all. Sorry. They paid us so much coin for doing that!
We do not necessarily require this duel to be to the death.
But if Asherias wants it to be to the death, we would accept.
Skink, I feel like I haven't paid you a lot.
But if you do this well and fast, you can expect fitting reward.
If Asherias shrugs and says she cannot arrange for any of that because it's in the Legates hands...
Then I want a death duel and free exit afterwards.
Regards
KNUD
Najelin would read over the letter and scurry off to find Asherias to herald the terms in person...
Hoy Skink,
The Legates are boring cunts so forget them.
Ask Asherias if she has the courage to jump into the arena with us. Allowed or not.
A crowd will surely gather automatically!
Brothers Skargrimsson
Hey Skink,
Scrap the last message I prayed and was divinely instructed to have more patience.
Knud
QuoteI got her terms. I'll be down tomorrow to talk it through and we can form a plan.
SKINK
ps the awassi goat seem to have been hunted to extinction. I will hire the services of a hunter to help me find one in such hard times.
QuoteKnud,
I thought we were chums.
A Sad SKINK
Skink,
Are you confused?
I joined the Fourth with chummy permission and acknowledgement.
Knud
QuoteDetective-Raider Knud,
How goes the investigation?! I know the Mystery Of The Revel Break-In is a very hard case to crack but I'm wondering what sinister plots you've uncovered.
SKINK
Hello Skink,
It is not mentioned on any paper whatsoever.
BUT let me ask people.
I forgot.
And I only forgot because I haven't seen you or chums around.
KNUD
HELLO SKINK,
Can you help me?
I need as many sparks of revelation as humanely possible.
Can you bother everyone in your vicinity all of the time to collect those?
I'll pay whatever it costs. (Within some reason!?)
KNUD, CHUM
QuoteKnud,
Dont worry chum, I know a guy...
I'll ask around too. Might get a little pricy, more than one might think. I'll find you.
SKINK
SKINK,
I really miss raiding.
KNUD
Hello Skink!
Amani has offered me an enormous position in her cabinet.
Uh. What can Buster do?
Thanks!
KNUD
QuoteKnud,
You already dropped the chum from your signature?!?!
Let's get some coffee or mizz. But something to think in the meantime - Amani is campaigning on restoring the Well's honour and reestablishing alliances with friends and allies.. How do you think your dreams of Banafsi or claiming Frostport will go if you're left to squalor here with a fancy title as peace reigns?
SKINK
Skink,
I didn't vote or sign anything I am just asking what Buster can grant!?
Ye let's talk or whatever......
I'm already bored of Ephia's Well.
KNUD
Hello Skink,
I am forced to take hostile actions against Chums.
Just play along, OK?
If not me - another, and that'd be worse!
KNUD
QuoteKnud,
OK, but we're getting some conflicting messages. Is this Zaidu?
Talk to you soon...
(https://i.imgur.com/Q6JAEZB.png)
Who the hell is Zaidu
- Black Eagle