[Left in the Priory]
Hey-- haven't been able to get a hold of you since Hufaidh. Sister Jamei said you were still in mourning over Sister Amelie's loss.
I had the chance to hear the whole tale from a-- well, everybody's got their biases. It was from someone who's not wearing one of our cloaks. I had the chance to do some thinking on it. Specifically, that shared dream we had on the night of the Al-Shurigi rite. You, me, Amelie, Ashtirra. Do you remember what I asked her when we were walking back, about how she was ready to stand her ground despite what was at stake? Do you remember what she said when I asked how she was so capable of risking our lives?
She said that the Djinn wasn't interested in our deaths as much as our suffering.
Feels like something of an omen, now. That dream and the situation you all were in, trapped inside...that crucible thing. Only it doesn't seem like she made the same choice this time.
Why do you think that is? If our lives weren't high enough stakes, what was?
V
P.S. Also can I borrow 1300 dinari
Been a few weeks now. Getting a little worried, to tell the truth. I'm sure you've got a good reason to be cloistered away or whatever, but I guess this is just to let you know that you're missed. Buster won the election, as I'm sure you've heard, and that's meant that all that time hustling and leafletting and writing is over for the moment. Had some time to think, and I got to thinking on where you've been. Or if you've up and vanished like Peyton did.
Not sure if you ever got to meet P. You would've liked em, I think. They were one of our kind of people. Miss them, too.
I don't need the dinari anymore, by the way. Cleared up the debt, so I'm officially 'reformed'. What a joke, right? Though I guess it's probably true, too. Spend enough dinari for a long enough time and chances are you will be transformed in one form or another. Into a prince, or a pauper or something in between. Gold's kind of interchangeable there, with whatever you see fit to sacrifice. Blood, sweat, effort, energy. Give it to the Gods, and they'll take it greedily enough, sure. Having faith means that the question of 'what do I get out of that' isn't supposed to come to mind. But it does, right? If not now, then back then, early days, when you were a kid who didn't know better.
Because there is an exchange. 'Of what' is up for the scholars or speakers to decide. If that 'what' is enough for you is up to the individual and their God. It's what separates the false prophets from the true believers, I think. Can you be comfortable with what you get, or not?
I'm rambling. Anyways, hope I see you around soon. And just in case you write back, use the secret codephrase we thought up so I know this isn't some Sister masquerading as you.
V
This'll be the last one of these I send to ya.
First, some honesty. A confession, because that was at least part of our relationship, wasn't it? Speaker to...seeker, maybe.
I think if you were there last night, I would've stayed. More-- I would've confessed just like the rest of them, made some pithy oath to people who don't deserve or need to hear it. Because it's the kind of thing we've already talked about, to a degree. It would've been nothing, or everything, to say that to you one more time.
But you weren't. You aren't. And I think I know why.
You're like me, and they smelled that out. I think they smothered you in the crib before you could grow into a problem.
Hear the front, see the back.
V