The Book of Big Bash

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tabbah 28th, IY 7789

Check, recheck, repeat. Each preparation readied quietly enough to go unnoticed. Tell just one friend in this town that you're leaving and everybody knows. So, yeah, there's a lot of improvisation going into this. It has to be abrupt and sudden enough to succeed. Give them no chance to negotiate, nor outright stab me in the back just when I reach the wharf. A lot of stuff has to be left behind, but... it's just stuffs and things. None of it really matters. I want something better for myself, for all four of us. With every passing day, it becomes obvious that none of us can find that here.

Yeah, there's a tinge of cynicism to that. Satured with it, really. But can you blame me? Every single time I foolishly start thinking that things are getting better, they kidnap me, or stab me for 50 dinars, or they elect someone whose syphilis has completely rotted through their brain. None of that's going to stop. Ever. No amount of money can make it worth suffering through, and that's all they have.

They spit in your face, pay for the pleasure, then act confused when you're still offended. All they understand is transactions.

It's all a welcome respite. Relief, reprieve, all that. A beach, all for our own. The pleasant heat of the sand under your sandals. Laughs, smiles, good conversation, all shared between good friends, 'neath giant parasols. All I need. All we need... If I could, I would give such to one and all. Folk that deserved it, anyhow. Surprisingly many around here that don't.

Oh, and by the way?

I'm Seucsippus.

That's right. All along, I've been hiding amongst you, stoking the flames of each and every scheme. Casually acting oblivious to it all, while turning each ploy inside out, corrupting their intent, until everyone involved thinks that they're the one in control, even though none of them are. Why? Because it's really, really, really funny.

No, I'm not. Yet you probably believed that for a second.

Don't know who I'm writing this to, really, but I'm painfully aware of how diviners are. Curious to a fault. I do wish that you'd use your powers for something actually useful, though. In short... stop reading my diary. It's not meant for your eyes. It never was.

I'm just a working man. Used to labor just to feed myself... Now I do it in order to feed my family, as peculiar as we might be.

I hope that you can respect that.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tabbah 29th, IY 7789

Plans... They're useless, in the end, aren't they? Can't foresee... anything, really.

Yes, we made it into Baz'eel. Tonka's got a pillow fort, Inky's already making a list of every bookstore here... and Magnifica? She's on the roof, crowing at the top of her lungs, making sure that absolutely everyone knows that we've arrived. People keep throwing shoes at her. So far, she's managed to dodge all of them.

Yet Cogsworth's passing painted quite the somber sky over it all.... I really wanted him to be there. In the end, he was, yes, if only in spirit. Wish he'd been able to have a sandwich to top it all off, though. I felt so guilty about it... just sailing off into the distance after his murder. Yet I didn't want to spend even a single moment more amidst that hell. I'm sorry, but I had to leave. I just had to.

I never realized that it can be that sudden. Death, too, I guess, but I'm talking about becoming a ghost, more. I always thought that there's a bunch of bureaucracy involved, a bunch of forms to fill about how you're going to spend your afterlife and such. Then again, maybe there is, and he just got that done with real quick. He was real smart, after all. I also approve that his very first ghostly duty was to prank Vellum! I wish I could've seen the look on her face when he manifested!

At least Jamileh, Zol Nur, Peyton and Eva were able to make it there, safe and sound. The latter two might not be among my closest friends, but... I like them, and I think that if you like someone, you should show that, and a beach vacation is simply the best way to do that. One of the best, anyhow. I enjoyed our conversations... running along the sands... having a dip in the waters, so pleasantly warm. I was happy... even if I knew that I'd most likely never see any of them, ever again. Yet you want those last moments to be happy...

Even Pakas came to visit! The engineers had juiced up his auto-sail. It practically flew along the waves, at Richo-like speeds! Oh, Richo, I wish you'd been able to see it... Only you could truly appreciate such velocity! Thankfully it was just a friendly visit, no diplomacy to be handled... A business that I can happily say that I'm retired from, forever!

I kind of wish Ricardus had been there... yet I suppose it was as fine an occasion as it could've been, considering the circumstances.

Wish it would've lasted an eternity, though.

It's strange. It's as if my shoulders were relieved of a unforgiving burden... and in its place, the support of pure bliss.

Yet I miss them, already. Just the people, and only a few, admittedly... yet I wish they were here.

I can at least write to them... maybe read about their adventures... and perhaps even invite them over, sometime in the future.

Yet I miss them, so much. All of them.

It's only the very first hours of the very first day, and the longing is already so strong.

Yet I can't help but smile, anyhow.

Having such dear friends that you miss them so much on the very first steps...? It's a good problem to have.

The best sort of problem, really.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tabbah 30th, IY 7789

Woke up, walked down the stairs, bathed, drank my coffee, did my makeup, got ready to read the speeches prepared by Inky, complete with phonetic notation...

Then I remembered that I'm not doing that anymore, and neither are they. In fact, Inky's still sleeping as I write this. Their snoring is one of the most hellish cacophonies to plague the Disc. Anyhow...

It's quiet.

Well, it's not literally quiet, there's just less... nonsense. We're surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the city. The bellows are endless, and you can actually choose whom and what you want to listen to... And the performances? Good grief! Kind of makes me feel embarrassed about my own efforts. Granted, I was always improvising based on Inky's scripts... well, after they were brought into my life, anyhow... but still, I thought I was doing a pretty good job? Yet in comparison... no, I really was absolute shite, mostly just carried by my melodious voice.

Maybe that can be my new job? Like, my second job. Or third job. I'm not sure what I'm doing right now. Like, I am still designing, and tailoring, absolutely, they brought an absolutely fabulous loom in, that's just... too much, I can't wait to try it out later! Yes, I'm excited about a fucking loom. It's fantastic, and I won't hear anything else!

Just considering the bigger picture. Who am I, now? Big Bash, I guess. But I've worked my entire life. Jumped from job to job, sure, but... I just can't stay put. I don't know how to. So, might as well make it something that I actually enjoy doing! Maybe I can about flowers to the good folk. I think at least someone would listen to that? Like, even if it's literally just one person, I think I'd like doing that. Hell, have a portion... just a tiny little bit... of it even be scientific! Ask a bunch of questions about flowers from one of those natural philosophers!

Oh, and I'll start gardening too, of course! I'll have the... whatever-biggest-comes-after-the-Sultan-and-His-Lineage garden! Yeah!

There's too many pastries around here. Maintaining my diet will be so difficult...

Like, there's too much of everything in Baz'eel! There's too much of too much! I tried looking over the map but couldn't make heads or tails out of it! I asked Inky to help, and well... that's why they're sleeping, still. The map was just too much for them!

Where's the nearest salon? I want a honey oatmeal mask!

Navigating this city will take an entire year! What a bother! So much walking!

Oh! I wonder if I can hire someone to tame the Big Heron, here...?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

[As the days go by, the little halfling writes less and less about Ephia's Well. Any mentions made are merely indirect, their underlying thread sewn through the friends still living in that peculiar town, and those claimed by the ash. Whenever he talks of them, it is with utmost respect, and with the largest of loves.

Whatever strifes Bashir faces in Baz'eel seem rather inconsequential, and often petty. Many a failed tryst, most of them with half-elves, adorns the pages, yet these tumbles always seem to escape his mind the very next day. Even tiny Tonka cannot escape from amorous advances, as a slew of socialites make their pilgrimage to the home of a most peculiar family, and present their tomcat as simply the most suitable husband to be found for her.

Inky the Iridescent cares not for such folly, and continues recording each and every thing that they witness, no matter how trivial. Their room, specifically laid aside for them by Bashir, is soon filled with so much stationery that a sign, warning of "paper floods", has to be placed upon its door.

And what about Magnifica al-Saiba? She becomes the household's doorkeeper, despite perpetual protests from her flatmates. Only those worthy of entering her home shall be granted entry... whereas all others are swiftly turned away by a flurry of most indignant pecks.

Each added page paints a picture of a happy, if peculiar, family. Bashir's writing never seems to cease, and neither does his professional hopping. Soon, he holds the world record for most jobs ever labored by one person... yet the proof for this, as always, can only be found within his journal.]