Warpriestess reflections - Desir

[Jubek]

The diary of a warpriestess of Yeman.  There are two other small books she carries in her belongings.

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A booklet of prayers. https://www.efupw.com/forums/index.php?topic=699559.0

A short essay on her yemanite order. It hasn't been opened often.  https://www.efupw.com/forums/index.php?topic=699396.0

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[Jubek]

I will take on the quill, and do something I am not used to – writing. Not copying manuscripts – writing. I find myself at a crossraods, and I am lost at what I should do. What we’ve been taught to do in the temple, what we’ve been instructed to pursue, once we  leave the walls of our Home for good...Life has always been simple. Hard, simple, fulfilling : The chores we had to do, to strengthen our sense of discipline. The lessons we’ve learnt and copied from the instructors, to give the sense of Truth to our duty. The training, that developped our resolution...I am aware that I find myself within the world with a vision far more wide than many others. Not many embrace the core of their being, its divine grace, always burning brighter with the grace of the Holy Inspiration. I have always been faithful to the Path I have known, as far as I can remember.
But today, I am confused. The Path is Home, but there is something else speaking within me. Another voice…

We reason in absolutes. Sent into the Society, to inspire Men into nobility,  the righteousness to fight the ones that would cause their downfall for their own profit. A subtle influence over the course of things. Yeman led me to meet again and again, and to  work with nobles of a specific house. In a way, the beginning has been made easy. Yes, the battles I fought alongside them were hard, but it was partly what I was trained to do. I have gained their trust, and admission within their ranks depends only on my answer.


But something inside me does not feel ``right`` about this. Something speaking a different truth than the Path. I have always been taught to fight these impulses, as they were described as the diversion that distracts one from his duty. But what happens when this voice sounds just as true within oneself?


                  *   *   *

I have made my choice. Ironically, I do not feel wrong doing it. As a matter of duty though, I am wondering if I am forsaking the teachings of those who made me as I am today. In a way, this does not oppose the teachings of Yeman. In fact, I’d be just as able to apply them in my everyday actions. But as a disciple of the Radiant Hope, I’ve picked an easy path, for the bannermen of this House are those I would  the least expect from an attitude of laisser-faire, when confronted to greed and selfishness.

Is my intuition leading to unexpected events where my presence shall represent Yeman’s will? Did the acquaintances I did among the other noble houses will serve me in the future? Will they still be friends, in the end? The Present is made of questions, and the Future shall be made of answers. Sweet flames, I hope I am not doing the wrong choice. Burning Lord, may I stay true to your will.

[Jubek]

Yeman be praised! For He has shown me the Way!

The voice you know is not always the one to follow, for the divine intuition that rises without warning knows beyond consciousness.

I had the possibility to join House Sunpurse for a while, they were ready to accept me among them. But my desire to join them was driven by the possibility that, over time, I may influence, inspire some of them to do worthy deeds for the Ward’s well-being and safety. No matter how many of them would have listened to me, if I had material support or help through strength of arms, I could have done the will of Yeman, as it has to be.

But the divine intuition told me to wait. So I waited.

And a light emerged from the shadows. A light speaking honest words of change, a voice echoing a different song than the ones we used to know from the Old Houses. A woman who carries a banner of yore, to rekindle worthy values. The banner of House Skybloom, her descendant’s name : Victoria.

We are but a few by her side, but our cause is an inspiring one.
People have forgotten the deeds of the past, but already new ones echo in the present.
A flame of a candle in the night, to grow more and more
To light the city
To burn the shadows the hypocrite and the self-serving cast upon it.

Through the Rise of House Skybloom.
Praised be Yeman.

[Jubek]

She is gone. Her name emerged out of the shadows just as the Tournament was announed, and was cast back in them during it. A duel with the champion of House Moonspear, the Nothing.
I was so sure her arrival was an omen of change. My mentors would say that I am young and unpexperienced, but still. How come...she...the hope she brought with her, it burned bright, and was gone as quickly as it arrived.
She seemed so dejected, the last time we spoke. The death of the Glitt champion in such a dishounourable way disgusted her. I asked her if she needed to be alone for a while, and she said yes. Little did I know that she would fight to death for the honour of her house the very same evening. And she did so the same way : Alone. This will be my last moment shared with her; How I failed her. I wanted to talk with her, to tell her that she was in a hurry to get things done, but such things need "time" to "bloom". We must nurture them, and slowly, and always, help these ideals grow. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
She issued the challenge so quickly after the death of Gawain, I wonder if the event made her want to quicken the pace of her path – change. Too fast. It has been a straw fire.
I hope Aileen was there during the fight.
A recent discussion with Gabrielle, the velstran who sheltered her in the vale after her escape from her abductors, made me realize something. She told me Lady Skybloom was to need more than friends if she were to succeed in the times to come. I said to my Lady that I was to be her companion for the duration of the Tournament, then swear myself to her cause if she proved her intents were as true as she proclaimed them to be. But only a few days ago, she flirted with death through the menace of a gnawing curse. Yet she refused to abandon : She was ready refuse the help of a man who ultimately healed her. Even if it meant his own death. Because she did not want people to die for her. But dying for her would have meant dying for all she could have brought back to the Peerage.
She "was" true to her words.
It was then, that I realized she had already proven herself. I was ready to swear my oath to her. I am not familiar to such things, but I had made researches in books and archives; knightly tales and orders. I had found a few, that I considered appropriate.
But now I will never know.
I failed my vows before even speaking the words.

[Jubek]

A small piece of paper, put between two pages of the journal...


Traditional oath of fealty

I promise on my faith that I will in the future be faithful to the lord, never cause him harm and will observe my homage to him completely against all persons in good faith and without deceit.

*     *     *

Northerner’s oath of fealty

I will shield you from those who would seek you harm
I will remain by your side in your darkest hour
And if it comes to that, I will give my life for yours
This, I swear by The Burning Lord.

[Jubek]

Within a dream that borders on awakening, a barely restorative sleep in which a survivor tries to recover from a violent assault, from an encounter with death... Evanescent clouds of memories that follow one another in a sudden and incoherent manner: The fruit of the subconscious mind.

The walls of a temple. Austere aspect, but with luxurious material. Two priests chatting together, in a room far from the others. Snippets of memories of a mischievous and discreet child...

-She's the daughter of...what house is she from again?
-Your question is remarkably unimportant. The moment these orphans enter this temple, they are cut off from their past and everything that connects them to it. You are still a novice despite your recent ordination. Try to correct this.
-It is true, I am sorry.

A moment of silence...

-She does not appear to have the typical profile for the training and education that await her. She is mischievous, emotional, somewhat impulsive...and is more often caught reading poetry than the sacred writings. This is nothing like what she would later represent.
-You are mistaken, colleague. They are among the best devotees of a cause. For she is a romantic. Even though their hearts may seem to be animated by an impulsive and undisciplined ardor, it is a character that, when well forged, drinks from the spirit of the words, not the words themselves. The more she will feel, in dark moments, that she is fighting for a lost cause, the more she will redouble her ardor, for it is precisely for this poetic beauty that she will find in an ideal, that she will fight. They are like that.

It will be necessary to educate her in a way that will properly channel her temperament, rather than to control it.

[Jubek]

Another vivid dream. Or rather, a reflection of the past.


-This recent altercation brought to us a much-needed discussion about the young miss Evershine, don’t you think?
-Yes, Father.
-Now, first of all, tell me briefly what happened?
-Desir and an older student began arguing about the nature of the teachings. The older one took a teaching role which displeased her. She complained about the lack of flexibility on the interpretations her fellow student had, saying that he was narrowing his vision...
-Briefly, I said.
-They had a disagreement. They fought. She broke his nose.

A moment of silence.

-An odd one. She shows promising qualities as a preacher, yet can be quite reluctant to submit to authority figures.
-Yes, you are right. She, er, it should also be noted that she was caught stealing food a few times, from the kitchen. She’s surprisingly good at it.
-And it has surprisingly not yet been corrected. There is also this most concerning point...
-Being alarmingly disinterested of the will of the King? Yes, she often dissociates it with the well-being of the city. Believing these two things are different and unique in their own ways.

Another moment of silence.

-It seems the young girl is giving you quite a hard time for matters of discipline. She does possess the same traits you had before that you had to work on to...better control yourself. Channel her energies appropriately. You better make her understand the error of her ways. It would be a shame to raise this girl only to have her killed by the Hound on her first months outside the Temple.
-I...this makes perfect sense, Father. She will be disciplined.
-Good. I believe you have a lot of work, then. I’ll leave you to it.

As the young priest is about to leave, (and the spying child about to run away) his superior stops him on his way.

-Also, my son. Do please work on this talkative nature of yours. We always know what to expect when you say you’ll “make it short”. You’re as worse as the girl.

[Jubek]

An awkward handwriting. No one would believe comes from someone who used to be a copyist.


I woke a few days ago. My memory is quite hazy, and I have frequent headaches. The priest tending to my wounds says it is nothing short of a miracle that I survived this ambush. Ringrunners found me as brigands were searching through my belonging after knocking me unconscious. They were honest ringrunners it seems, for they didn’t take anything. They simply brought me here after recognizing my relic as one of Yeman. Or was it the warmace? It doesn’t matter.

I can barely differentiate my dreams and reality. The first one is so realistic, and my memories of the latter so cloudy, I can’t say. These pages can help me make sense of all this.

Better stop here before the headache gets too intense.