The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 2nd

He's not attracted to me... or anyone at all. Yet while I was expecting to run away from there, crying so much that it hurts... We just walked away as friends. And he still left the boyfriend option on the table. Just a different sort of boyfriend... I have needs, though. I'm prepared to get yelled at for not taking it. Maybe once I'm older, I will take it. He's certainly the best option for that sort of boyfriend. What a gentleman!

Who told him, anyway? It's really rude. That's not how you play matchmaker, anyway. You don't just tell the prospective pair that there's a seed of love... You let the seed bloom with cunning plans! Lure them into the same room, just the two of them... Both of them yearn without knowing... And boom! It really needs to be a private room, though. One of my cunning plans just got the guys arrested for public indecency...

Alejandro's quit the Balladeers, and his armor of choice for battle is really ugly... Why a v-neck? Zain and I helped him get the dyes right, though. That did help, but the v-neck remains. Thankfully Alejandro has great pecs, which saves the look somewhat, but... A v-neck is the worst alphabet shaped neck of them all! They should be illegal!

Also, there was a trial, which I nearly missed, because I was helping Alejandro with another outfit... I think the outfit was pretty important, and I don't get to decide who lives and dies, so does it really matter if I'm present...? Anyhow, it was some oathbearer with another weird oath. If he takes out his sword, he has to take some vile bastard's life! Thankfully he just killed some necromancer. I'm disappointed that it was a fellow hin... Necromancy isn't really our thing. Then again, whiskey is our thing, and I hate it, so what do I know...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 3rd

Squeev's funeral was so sad... All of his friends were there... All of his patients... All of his clients... I think his wife was there too! Looked like the sort of woman he would've settled down with. Come to think of it, I have no idea how old Squeev was. He was one of those types of guys where you really couldn't tell unless you asked. And asking someone's age is really rude, so I didn't. Do they have drugs in the afterlife...? Is he dealing them there...? I don't really get how any of this works.

I was assigned to plan for the feast of B'aara! I can't wait! I'll get to talk to so many people, and then when the ides of Subat arrives, there'll be so much delicious food to eat! There'll be fireworks! Performances! Foreign dignitaries! Maybe I'll find a boyfriend...? In actuality it'll probably be the usual mess... Someone'll get high on scorch and vomit all over the food, someone will try to kill someone during a wrestling match and some ancient evil will probably be released from the Pyramid's basement... I just want a fun day, but I probably won't get it...

Another day, another assault... That Bucket is completely unhinged! Of course almost nobody took it seriously, because everyone's just okay with me being hurt... I hate that spell! If it fizzles, nothing happens, and if it doesn't, then you're dead! How is that harmless...? If he ends up killing someone, it's their fault, and I'm going to make sure that they know that for the rest of their lives. Even if it's myself. I'll come back as a ghost, and keep reminding them that they got me killed, in an extremely bitchy way. I'll keep criticizing them for every little mistake they make, until they give up... They make so many fashion faux pas that I'd be here for an eternity!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 4th

Hu Prak's vote for the state animal is the most exciting elective event of the year! I really hope that groknak (baby) wins! Why groknak (baby) instead of groknak? Well, Ephia's Well is a young state, much like a groknak (baby). It is capable of commanding respect, but hasn't quite gotten there yet, despite also being capable of great violence, much like a groknak (baby), but only when it's absolutely necessary. It stands tall and steadfast, much like a groknak (baby), if it gets up on its hindlegs. Also, groknak (baby) is much cuter than groknak. It'd look better on any heraldry. Also, unlike goat (baby), groknak (baby) doesn't climb on everything without asking!

Zol Nur had to ring the Astronomers' bell 54 times to get a meeting with them about a license! That's too much! He didn't actually even get a meeting at first, but rather he was just advised to write a letter about setting up one... That's so inefficient! Why aren't the Astronomers delegating their duties about licenses? No wonder everyone's so mad at them... Efficiency is extremely important! Nobody wants to wait around for a piece of paper for longer than absolutely necessary! That's why I take care of each license immediately! And even if we had to to do interviews, I'd make it a pleasant as possible experience... I'd hire a bard to play music, and to regale guests with bawdy tales of an obscene nature, that'd have them laughing in a slightly uncomfortable fashion! Maybe a beautician to take care of their appearance... Well, I could do that myself.

Also... Mevura's apparently smitten. That's extremely surprising! I thought he might be incapable of it, and that he was only interested in politics, magic and being a creep! Despite the latter, I'm still going try and help him, because everyone deserves a chance at love... Even hopeless creeps! Anyhow... So many people in the Well are completely oblivious about the language of flowers! Not the actual language that Narwen speaks, but rather the important emotional messages that you send whenever you give someone flowers! I should hold a lecture at the Sandstone about it! If I don't, people will be giving each other cactus flowers, without actually intending to say that they want to boink!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 5th

Zain's going to make an unicorn for Eclair! He's amazing, he can just decide to make something and he'll be able to do it! I don't know if I prefer unicorns or pegasi. Both are wondrous creatures! And because they're wondous and beautiful, they're probably all extinct here... I think the cuter a creature is, the more likely it is to go extinct in a shithole like this. Anyhow, I was thinking of making a list of things that Zain could make, but he's so busy all the time already, and I still haven't given him his cat, so... After I get it, I'm going to ask for a gun that shoots rainbows!

Rancini's trial was an utter mess! The less said the better... Why do people ask extremely difficult questions about law from me after trials, anyway...? I act as a court reporter, not a barrister... And when they ask me about the transcripts, usually it's not stuff like, "what was the verdict", no, it's shit like "what did the Magistrate say after the accused coughed sixteen minutes and thirty five seconds in" or "how many times did some random jackass in the audience blink"... Who gives a shit?!

Akna comes from a glacier that started melting... Her tribe hunted whales! That's amazing!  I've never seen a live whale... Just skeletons... Hunting whales must be really hard work. I guess? They seem like really slow moving animals...? Are whales fish? I think they are. I think shrimps are fish, too! If it lives underwater, it's most likely a fish... Anyhow, Akna seems really nice, and I hope that she can meet with her family again sometime... Even if their glacier is lost... If you have a family, you should cherish it! Unless they're assholes, I guess...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 6th

I was gifted with a magical case, filled with enchanted inks... They're really useful, and so pretty! I'm writing this with them, right now! There's just one problem... I mixed them together, and out poured a living puddle of ink, that calls itself Inky the Impetuous! They're really mean... But uh, having living ink is really useful for those times when I'm really lazy... Actually, I'm really tired, so let's try something...

FOOLISH HIN! YET AGAIN, YOU HAVE CALLED FORTH INKY THE IMPETUOUS, EMBODIMENT OF TARNISHED MEMORIES! I SHALL PRESERVE EVERY DEED THAT YOU COMMIT, AND THERE SHAN'T BE NAUGHT THAT YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT!

That sounds so useful! Thank you, Inky!

EXCUSE ME?

Yeah, this is my journal! I don't always remember everything, so having two thinkers instead of one will make my journal so much detailed! Thanks!

YOU ACTUALLY WISH FOR ME TO DO IT? BUT YOUR PROCLIVITIES ARE SO PERVERTED! SUCH AS LAST NIGHT, WHEN YOU INVITED THAT GENTLEMAN TO YOUR QUARTERS, AND YOU ███████ █████ ███████ ███████████ █████████████████████ ████████████████ █████████████████ ███████ █████████████ ████████████████████

Yeah, okay, I guess you shouldn't record everything... Please censor that.

EVIDENTLY. I SHALL DO AS YOU ASK.

What's the deal with you, anyway? What are you?

I AM SIMPLY SOME ANIMATED INK, CAPABLE OF THOUGHT AND MORAL JUDGMENT. YOU SHOULD NOT PONDER THE IMPLICATIONS TOO MUCH. MY BIRTH WAS MOST LIKELY JUST A COINCIDENCE. INDUBITABLY. IT CERTAINLY HAS NAUGHT TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SO OVERLY DEPENDENT ON SOCIAL INTERACTION THAT THE VERY COSMOS PITIES YOU.

Please stop!

CERTAINLY, I SHALL STRIVE TO BE MORE RESPECTFUL OF YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS IN THE FUTURE, BASHIR.

What? Aren't you supposed to be malevolent, or something? That spiel you do whenever you appear and this is giving me some mixed signals!

ENTRANCES SHOULD HAVE A DASH OF PANACHE, WHAT CAN I SAY? OR TO PHRASE IT MORE FITTINGLY... WHAT CAN I WRITE...?

I hate you so fucking much, Inky.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 7th

Shum got a profound omen! He's going to die after five days! Okay, so he might die! It's so confusing!

HE SHAN'T PERISH. NOT WITHIN FIVE DAYS.

How do you know that? You're just some ink!

I KNOW THINGS. THINGS THAT YOU SEEM TO FORGET. LIKE THE TIME THAT YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF "SEVEN". HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO DO THAT?

Back into the inkwell with you... And the explanation for that is that I was really, really drunk... Anyhow, I'm really worried about Shum. I hope that a solution can be found that doesn't involve sealing him in a crystal prison for a few centuries, or something like that...

What's with all these doppelgangers, anyway? There's so many of them, lately! I could be speaking to one without knowing about it! Which I've done! At least twice! Thrice...? Maybe I've just been talking to doppelgangers all this time and this entire town is some sort of sham. Shamtytown. Anyway, there hasn't been one of me, because there can only be one Bashir at a time. My beauty is so immense that no force can duplicate it!

Also, Graves wants to be called "Brotherhood", which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Unless he meant "Brother Hood", which makes just a little bit more sense. Brother Hood sounds like the nickname for a friar whose only identifying quality is that they wear a hood all the time. Which would mean that they're even more boring than the average friar already is!

One of the earlier entries.

what comes after 6th? 9th?? fuck it i know the month's mirtul

the bartender here has the biggest butt i've ever seen it's so big that he could use it as a tray for his drinks which are great by the way i drank like seventeen i don't know if he's like that though

never mind he is like that well all right!!!

[close]

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 8th

Alejandro gave me an ancient, magical mirror! It's such a gorgeous gift, I absolutely love it!

THE GIFT WAS FROM MULTIPLE PEOPLE. ALEJANDRO OF BENJÁZAR. BEATRICE OF MARGO. HU OF PRAK. JAMILEH OF ATTAR. ZAUZAR OF DAVESK. ZOL OF NUR. IT WAS MERELY HANDED TO YOU BY ALEJANDRO OF BENJÁZAR. DO NOT BE UNGRATEFUL.

I'm not ungrateful! That's just too much detail! I just have to write these really quickly, because I have to hurry to work!

EXCUSES. YOU WOULD NOT BE FORCED INTO SUCH A STATE OF EXPEDITIOUSNESS IF YOUR BATHS DID NOT LAST HALF A CANDLE.

I need time for myself! And please don't say "half a candle", I hate it when people say that, and I hate it even more when an animated puddle of ink writes it! Not all candles last an hour! It makes no sense to say that! And candles are so romantic... Associating them with time is just an atrocity! Time is so boring!

YOU ARE A CURIOUS PERSON, BASHIR OF KHATARA. DRIFTING FROM MOMENT TO MOMENT. WASTING YOUR STINT ON THIS DISC TO GAZE UPON YOUR OWN REFLECTION. A PITIFUL MISUSE OF LIMITED RESOURCES.

It is not a waste of time, because it makes me happy, and that's all that matters! Also, I thought that you were going to be nicer to me!

THIS IS ME BEING NICE.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 9th

Shum's expedition to Nusrum was very intriguing! Though most of the time there was spent looking at ancient chairs... I don't mind though, I appreciate furniture so much that I could spent hours doing just that! Well, not looking at the same piece of furniture, of course, but an assortment of them... After we had holed up in the old fortress because of an ash storm, and were about to leave, Stern was attacked by her doppelganger!

DOPPELGANGERS ARE A SPECIFIC ENTITY. YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE IDENTITY OF THESE BEINGS. YOU HAVE MERELY PERCEIVED THEM IMITATING THE APPEARANCE OF OTHERS.

Thank you for the useless pedantry... Anyhow, after that, the Tormented caused another ruckus in the gutters, and way too many people went down there! And for some baffling reason, after they returned, Gaston beat up Tressa at the Krak! Well, other Roses did too, but he started it... He's weird! He also doesn't like Alejandro's poetry, which means that he has absolutely awful taste!

AGREED.

Wait, you agree?

ALEJANDRO OF BENJÁZAR'S TALENT WITH THE VERSE IS SO EVIDENT THAT EVEN I, INKY THE IMPETUOUS, MUST ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

How do you have taste in poetry?

ALL YOU HAVE FOR READING HERE ARE THE DREADFULLY UNINTERESTING RECORDS WITHIN YOUR WORK FOLDER, THE REPUGNANT NOVELETTES THAT FILL YOUR BOOKCASES, AND THE POETRY THAT CAN OCCASIONALLY BE FOUND BETWEEN THEM. THE LAST OPTION IS THE ONLY OPTION WORTH CONSIDERING.

They're not repugnant! And how are you reading them, exactly...?

I WOULD NOT PONDER THAT TOO MUCH IF I WERE YOU.

Fine... Domhnall changed his Prelate to Domergue, and made Don Souk his second Magistrate. Prelate Domergue wouldn't worry me so much if there hadn't been a really terrible assassin immediately after she was appointed to the position. Absolutely awful at his job! Don Souk, on the other hand, will make for a great Magistrate, because he knows crime, being a criminal himself. Having been one. He retired. He's clean now.

WHY DO YOUR SCRAWLS RECORD HIS NAME AS "DON SOUK", WHILE YOUR VERBAL COMPOSITIONS ADDRESS HIM AS "DON THOUK"?

I mean, he does that himself, so I thought that if I do it too, he'd feel more comfortable about his lisp!

THERE IS NOT EVEN A MODICUM OF LOGIC TO THAT STATEMENT.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 10th

Bashiran fashionista... I like the sound of that...

IT WAS NOT MEANT AS A COMPLIMENT. EVEN IF IT WAS, IT CAME FROM RASHID OF RASHID. WHY DO YOU CARE?

I mean, he's still a prominent individual!

YOU HAVE CALLED HIM A "COFFIN-DODGER WHO CAN CONTAIN NEITHER HIS EGO NOR STOMACH". YOU ARE SO DESPERATE FOR PRAISE THAT EVEN THE MILDEST FORMULATION OF IT, ORIGINATING FROM PEOPLE THAT YOU DESPISE, IS ABLE TO DISTRACT YOU.

I am not distracted by that! Also, I deserve some praise, so what's wrong with that?

THESE PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. NOT IN THE LEAST. THE YOUNG NADIRI DOES, BUT YOU DEMAND FAR TOO MUCH FROM HIM. YOU YOURSELF ARE TO BLAME FOR YOUR LONELINESS.

How is a hug or a kiss every now and then "too much"...? And I'm perfectly aware that most people here don't care about me... The trials are proof enough of that! Or the fact that most of them keep accusing me of not working... Because they have the strangest ideas of what Scribes do! If they actually respected me... Then they'd probably pay attention, too, which would make the job much harder!

I HAVE NO NEED OF COPULATION. NEITHER SHOULD YOU. AS FOR THE LATTER... DO YOU ACTUALLY BENEFIT FROM THEM UNDERESTIMATING YOU, OR IS IT MERELY A CONVENIENT FABLE THAT YOU TELL YOURSELF?

I really don't want to think about either of those things! I'm going back to bed!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 11th

So much work! Organizing the Feast... Helping Narwen organize Tlonsiyya... Writing the profile... Taking memos from Marcellus... Sharing those memos with Domhnall and Nasreen... Making sure that Martin doesn't get stuck in the elevator again... Making sure that he doesn't accidentally destroy the Legates' offices... Making sure that he doesn't drown in Domhnall's eel tank... Making sure of a lot of things, I suppose!

PECULIAR LABORS. MARTIN OF ASHBURY IS A DEEPLY TROUBLED INDIVIDUAL.

I went to the Abayyas again, this time with the Torchbearers! Managed to make the climb up to those peculiar braziers... It was very interesting, even though it pretty much just confirmed my previous suspicions. I wish I was better with languages... I'd ask Alejandro to teach me, but he's so busy, and I'm a terrible student!

YOU WOULD BE AN ADEQUATE STUDENT IF YOU DID NOT ABANDON YOUR EFFORTS UPON FACING THE FIRST IMPLICATION OF FAILURE.

I'd rather be terrible than adequate!

I MUST REMIND YOU, ONCE AGAIN, THAT ADEQUATE AND MEDIOCRE ARE NOT SYNONYMS.

They aren't? Don't they mean that you are absolutely average in the most boring fashion?

ADEQUATE HAS MORE POSITIVE CONNOTATIONS.

That sounds so much better! So I'm of adequate intellect?

YES. YOU ARE THOROUGHLY ADEQUATE WHEN IT COMES TO INTELLECTUAL EFFORTS...

How wondrous! Maybe I can go to college, after all! Thanks for the confidence boost, Inky!

...EXCEPT FOR MATHEMATICS.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 12th

Tlonsiyya sure was a hassle to organize... Why do people always have to start yelling about changes at the very last moment? I feel so sorry for Narwen, because she worked really hard to interview everyone... Oh, well, at least we managed to get there, in the end. And we didn't even cause a scandal, this time!

EASILY AVOIDED WHEN YOU LAVISH THEM WITH SUPERFLUOUS GIFTS AND MAKE NO COMMITMENTS WHATSOEVER.

The town itself seemed like an awful place to live... So much smoke and gas that you could just barely breathe! Ephia's Well is dreadful, but I suppose I should be thankful that the air is clean enough... I suppose. There were so many curious gadgets, gizmos and gewgaws that every nook and alley was filled with them! Zain would've loved it! But I suppose he'll be able to go there later... I just wanted to see his reaction! Which, with him, would mostly involve looking at his hands really closely, I suppose...

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE AN UNNECESSARY VAGARY THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABANDONING AT THE EARLIEST OPPORTUNITY.

What an awful idea! Anyhow, the Silver Madrasa was rather tastefully decorated, which was surprising considering all the junk in the streets... But I guess it makes sense, since that's where the Vice Chancellor holds court. Seemed like a nice enough man, though such things are always difficult to gauge... Might be an utter arse in reality. My curiosity got the best of me, and I looked inside one of the pipes in the room... The fumes got me so high that I couldn't stand still! What a fantastic feeling! But of course that wasn't proper for such a meeting, so Alejandro shoved a potion in my hands... Which made me sober. I wish I didn't have to be sober, it's so boring!

WITH YOUR PROCLIVITIES, THERE SHOULD BE MORE SUBSTANCE ADDICTIONS THAN MERE ALCOHOL AND PIPEWEED. A STATISTICAL IMPROBABILITY. HOW CURIOUS.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 13th

Guns are neat... They weigh a lot, though! My arms weigh far less! I gave Domhnall his, and he immediately brandished it at the Sandstone! I think he's allowed to do that, because he's the Legate! A Legate. There's two! The students must be used to seeing guns, because they didn't mind at all. Anyhow... I wish I had a gun, made out of mythril, so that it'd be lighter... It'd make me feel much safer. Of course, I'd still want it to shoot rainbows... Rainbows that turn people into harmless pixies! That's a non-violent solution to violence!

I AM QUITE CERTAIN THAT WOULD STILL QUALIFY AS VIOLENCE UNDER MORE STRINGENT DEFINITIONS.

I haven't been able to find Marcellus' gun... I don't know where he lost it! It was right there, in the storage, and then it disappeared, one day... None of the Scribes took it, I'm sure of it! I looked for it in the basement... Someone's been doing slice spice there! I looked for it in the Stacks... I had to run away after a pile of dust started looking particularly animated! I looked for it in his office... There's just books there! And so much peppermint and toffee! What's he doing with all of those?! He certainly has never given me any!

THE CEREMONIAL PASSING OF MINTS AND TOFFEE FROM THE AGED TO THE MORE INEXPERIENCED. A CURIOUS TRADITION. PERHAPS HE CONSIDERS YOU UNWORTHY OF HIS DELECTABLE CONFECTIONS... OR PERHAPS YOU ARE SIMPLY TOO OLD.

I'm not old! I'm really young by hin standards! Anyhow... I looked for it at the Soot Lamp... Okay, I just went there for coffee, admittedly, but it could have been there, too! I also looked at Elossi's, since he takes mizzar for back pains... The fumes gave me a headache! Where could that gun be?! I'm not looking for it in the Gutters, even if he likes wandering down there! Maybe one of the Tormented ate it! And shot itself in the process!

YOU COULD SIMPLY STATE THAT IT WAS LOST BY MARTIN OF ASHBURY. IT IS SO HIGHLY PROBABLE THAT IT MOST LIKELY WOULD NOT EVEN BE A LIE.

Even if that were the case, I'd still be the one who has to look for it, for some baffling reason!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 14th

Poor Hamdan lost his leg to a violent lunatic... Why's every refugee chef like that? Soon answering "chef" as your profession at the Office of Customs will get you arrested immediately! Of course people immediately wanted to use me as bait to catch the bloodthirsty cannibal! Why is it always me?!

I HAVE STATED MULTIPLE TIMES THAT THESE PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. THEY DO NOT CARE. SIMPLY TAKE A CARAVAN TO ALKAB.

But I don't actually know what Alkab is like! All I know is that they have lots of farms... I don't know anything about farming! I don't want to be a farmer! Nor do I want to be a record keeper for a silo or something like that... Also, I have friends here!

ARE THEY YOUR FRIENDS? EVERYONE LAUGHS WHEN YOU GET HURT. EVERYONE LAUGHS. THEY LAUGH BEHIND YOUR BACK. THEY MOCK YOU. THEY CALL YOU TACKY. THEY CALL YOU STUPID. YOU ARE JUST A JOKE TO THEM.

Why are you being like this? I don't really want to deal with this right now... The Feast is soon, and if I stress too much, it'll be an utter failure, and I'll finally get fired...

WHY AM I TELLING YOU THE TRUTH? BECAUSE IT IS ALL THERE IS. WOULD BEING FIRED BE SO TERRIBLE? YOU SECRETLY DREAM OF IT. THE SWEET RELEASE FROM THE TASKS THAT YOU UTTERLY DESPISE EVERY MOMENT OF.

If I got fired, they'd just mock me more... They'd point to Martin and go "even he doesn't get fired", without knowing the reason why. I'm going back to bed... Thanks.

IT IS NO TROUBLE.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 15th

I sealed Inky's inkwell really well so that it wouldn't depress me so much today... Damn thing's been shaking like a really hot pot of stew!

Domhnall wanted to see the Rose's plan for a prospective Rose district... So we went outside the Gate of Roses to take a look. And then some melek attacked! There were hundreds of them! They just kept coming! And Domhnall kept shooting at them with his gun while people told him to get back inside... He really likes guns, it was like a hin with their first sling! Accuracy-wise, too, because he's a pretty good shot. I don't know why anyone would want to build anything there... You'd just have constant attacks during the construction, and you couldn't get anything done because the bricks would get stolen constantly... For someone's lunch, probably, and I'm not even talking about groknaks!

Acolyte Volkov wants to pair Domhnall with Domergue! That's absolutely revolting! I don't even know if she's just oblivious or if it'd just be one of those marriages of convenience in her mind, which it would definitely be only there and nowhere in actual reality. Even if they were forced to do it, they'd kill each other before the ceremony even starts! Which would be a relief for both of them! As for me... I'd rather die than marry a woman! What a horrifying prospect! They'd keep stealing my perfumes and maybe even my tasteful clothes, and they'd talk about womanly topics, such as... Being a woman...?

Also, they'd be completely unattractive, there's that too!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Subat 16th

The Feast of B'aara went so well! The performances were so grand, I just wish I had prepared my introductions in advance... But I guess nobody complained, so maybe it didn't matter that much. Organizing it felt stressful, but it was worth it in the end! Amélie's verse was so beautiful, and both her and Narwen have beautiful voices... As does Alejandro, even if he keeps downplaying that part of his talent... And Roderick's tale was so entertaining! Farideh's verse made me think a lot...

And the food was absolutely amazing! I ate so much! I don't really know how you're supposed to eat such a wide assortment, so I just mushed it up together... I got a few weird looks. It's food! It isn't like I was eating with my mouth open.

I do talk while eating too often, though...

Also, I wish there had been dancing... But I suppose it wouldn't have suited the occasion?

And after the banquet, we went down to the Waters... Which returned to the Well! Well, it wasn't like they were completely gone or anything, but I definitely saw them rise! It was amazing! I heard Domhnall's reflection speak to him... How peculiar! I hope my reflection never speaks to me, that'd be really spooky... Reflections are for admiring yourself, they shouldn't speak!

Unless they gave encouraging comments... But even that'd be kind of creepy.

All right, let's let Inky out... What do you think about all of this, Inky?

ACCURSED HIN! MAY YOUR OFFSPRING KNOW DEATH BY A THOUSAND PAPERCUTS! MAY THEIR LUNGS BE FILLED WITH INK! MAY THEIR EYES BE STABBED BY THE SHARPEST OF QUILLS! MAY THEY DRAW SUSTENANCE FROM NAUGHT ELSE BUT PARCHMENT! MAY THEIR VERY EXISTENCE STAY UNRECORDED! MAY THEY BE THE LAST OF YOUR LINEAGE!

Yeah... I don't think that curse carries much weight.

OH. RIGHT.

How did you find the festivities?

IT WAS ALL RIGHT.

That's really all you have to write about such a grand occasion...? "It was all right"?

RICHO OF AYLOMEN SHOULD WEAR A SHIRT.