Escaping the Pirates of the Caribbean, BRUNO OAR-BACK

[Black_TopHat]

So you're probably wondering, How did a salty seadog, get here? How did Bruno Ship-Burner, author of the Mermaids Tale, Balestriere of the Banda Rossa, end up in Ephia's Well of all places?



Well he wasnt! A Sailor that is. Bruno was nothing more than an orphan brat of the Old World, with no actual sailing experience at all. The most he did was pull an oar on a raft, little more than a slave. So he rejected his old name, and took the name "Ship-Burner" a dashing Pirate Captain like those he imagined from the rotted hulks they passed as a child. Everything he knew was from listening to others, a talent he grew to excel in.

So he followed those around him, swept up in the determination only the very young, or very stupid can truly have. He would sail on a real ship, he would be the Captain of his own life.




He traveled in a rough trade, from Merizzad Crime Clans, to fighting alongside a Starry Eyed Dwarven Warrior named Snorri...









Maybe travelling with so many dwarves gave him the idea of Grudges. Because he held quite a few. Quickly Bruno came to hate the Jannisary, always taking a chance to mock them for he hated that they stood in the way of his idea of "Freedom". Or perhaps it was just a teenage sense of rebellion.



Then there were the Balladeers...



Bruno *HATED* the Balladeers, though it was jealousy in the extreme. The Balladeers were everything Bruno could never be. They had history, they had friendship and the respect of others. His own sense of inadequacy  only grew with each day, but instead of looking to bettering himself, he lashed out. He was going to show them he was better than a Balladeer. Better than everyone. He was going to be a BANDA ROSSA



Bruno never intended on being a Soldari in La Banda Rossa. Where was the Freedom in that? It wasnt until the Rossa assembled a warband of hopefuls to strike at the Thousand Clans that he began to be interested. He had heard they came from the Sea of Pearls, and the manner they talked, their swagger was inspiring. They knew they were the best. They didnt take shit from nobody. They had respect, something Bruno wanted so badly. And he survived where so many others fell. He was one of "The Rikh Ardog Three" surviving where so many others did not. This -must- be something special.





They were the first family Bruno knew, legends in their own time. Kythaela and Isotta, who he called Lion and Falchion. The First Three in a new breed of Banda Rossa




The Rossa became his everything. It all made so much sense, Exiled from the Sea, a Proud Family that Demanded Respect and Rewarded Loyalty. He quickly adopted the Faith of Sage Maribela de Fortuna, and devoured every scrap of knowledge he could learn about the Companies home to better play the part. And as he fought for La Capitana his hatred for the Balladeers grew. During his very first Mission the terrifying Condottiero Paolina with great scorn told Bruno he'd be a better Balladeer than a Rossa. And so the sense of inadequacy came flooding back. The Balladeers were a danger to his new Family. The Balladeers were the ones who kept the Rossa from returning "Home" to Il Modo upon the Sea. To Bruno there was no Cinquefoil Rose, only the Rossa.











He even traveled to the Site of the Great Chalice with the Grandmaster herself...



Bruno was surprisingly good at his new role. He was instrumental in catching a Wyrm Cultist and rose in bloody task to Balestriere. Now he was all he thought he deserved, his loyalty to the Rossa becoming unbreakable.









Now he needed to find something, or someone to hurt the Balladeers. They could not be allowed to grow stronger. He needed a weapon he could use against them.

Enter Sol Auk.

Sol was actually the first person to tell Bruno about the Banda Rossa. He was the one who told Bruno about their History on the Sea of Pearls. While Bruno never trusted, or even liked Sol he knew he could get him into a seat of power, an Ally against the Balladeers.









When Sol won his seat, Bruno strove for the Envoyship to Banafsi. It was his second love after Il Modo. While Il Modo was out of his grasp he grew to love the culture of the Archonate of Banafsi.





But while Sol was was an ally, his only true friend, or so he thought, was that of "The Darling" Estellise. The Starlock, despite being in different uniforms, he always trusted. What began as just a story for the Tale became someone he cared for as much as he did Falchion or Lion. This is why he had trusted her with the final issue of the Mermaids Tale...











And so it was Bruno marched out after many Elections, Contracts, and Combat to fight for the Rossa's Banner, his luck finally running out. He was the First of the Rossa, and the Last of that Breed, being the final casualty of the bloody slaughter.

He was 19.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGDhzVi1bqU


 
And so ends The Voyage of Bruno "Ship-Burner" Oar-Back...



Oh.

Right. The Mermaids Tale.
https://www.efupw.com/forums/index.php?topic=706754.0

THAT thing. I never really intended on doing a Newspaper again. Its something I'd done in the past but its an exhausting level of work. But the more I thought about the humor in a "Pirate Post" as a sort of Free Radio to the more structured Empty Gallows the idea grew on me. Doodling is one of my favorite ways to interact with the gameworld and the server community. I wanted to have a way for people to keep in touch with the setting, and give a chance for everyone to shine.

It, as always, really took on a life of its own



At final count the Mermaids Tale made it 65 Pages of News. I was thrilled I made it to fifty, though I would have taken the paper as long as people were enjoying it.

Some Fun Facts About the Tale:

- The First few Dates were about 5000 years off
- It was always Spelled "Ephira's Well"
- Unless Paid to do so, Bruno would -always- spell names wrong.
- The "Darling" showed up 13 separate times, followed by Sol with 6
- Each drawing was either done with a cheap felt tip pen or a ballpoint for that genuine feel, snapped on my phone, and then used poor Cmenden as my dumping ground, instead of using a scanner

The Tale was always filled with errors so Bruno, if ever brought to court, could claim it was a work of fiction. There is no "Ephira's Well".... I never did get the chance but it always kept me entertained.


I originally was trying to post them all on the public boards but that became too painful, way too fast...



I also tried my very best to make a sending announcing a new issue IG whenever I could, with this being the first Bellow.



I did eventually get myself my own Board though!



I got to have a fanclub for a little bit, especially an eccentric little gnome named Babel...






Now for some unsorted silliness.

Bruno HATED when people would say Old World shit as if he should know it... he was 8!



The Name for a disaster quickly became a "Bruno Job" amongst the Rossa after a TPK early in the Chapter Start



He actually had okay Archaeology


I only responded in images on the forums for reports, letters, orders, etc... probably not gonna do that again. Oh and I did make an actual Sana "Heartbreaker" Doll



First person to hit potion max I think (it was all cure lights)



Babel was Reborn, as the Faith of the Sages write, as Brunos leal companion Parrot. Bruno, being a terrible teenager, didnt realize that not only can you not feed a Parrot nothing but Garlic, but that Babel was a She.




Pirate Dressup



LOOK! I made it to LEVEL 8! IM A REAL EFUer NOW!


Also, five months on a Pirate ain' half bad...


Bruno ONLY died to Crits for some reason. They were his bane.







Last but not least. Bruno had a superstition that Garlic was a lucky charm, that Garlic could ward off evil spirits and luck with its strong scent. It was just something I started doing out of the blue and eventually became another part of his absurdity.



Now, a special thanks to Roxy and TinFoilHat for being the first new wave of Rossa, to every Banda Rossa afterwards. To the Cinquefoil Rose, who dealt with my abuse in verbal and cartoon form.

To RwG for everything from bartering and bickering to Kingmaking.

To Cmenden for being my Poor Mans file transfer system. The Tale wouldnt have been possible without you.

To the DM Team, who, despite MOCKING me endlessly for playing a landlocked pirate, were always responsive to my questions about tiny bits of lore. I did my best to represent the Banda Rossa and I think its one of the richest factions out there for players to explore and enjoy.

And thank you to Everyone else in this Community for enjoying the Mermaids Tale. The Stories were your stories, just told through the twisted lens of a fast talking, Boston accented Pirate Weeb.

-FAHK-

[Dugs]

It was always a pleasure. A lot of how Kragg ended up speaking can be directly attributed to Bruno. We were so damn close!

Best of luck on the next.

[Pandip]

The best part of a new chapter is a killer new BTH character accompanied with an incredible papersheet.

As always, it's a treat to have you around and Bruno was no exception, though I didn't get to spend quite as much time with this character as I would have liked!

[Random_White_Guy]

Sol Auk and Bruno were an unlikely duo

Orlando and Bruno were BEST FRIENDS

<3

[cmenden]

AAAAH Bruno! I'm going to miss him so much!

[Phoebe]

Arguably one of the most influential characters among my little friend group- I'd often show the Mermaid's Tale to people who don't play EFU just to give a taste of what it's like. A wonderful character who's far deeper than anyone could know without giving him the time of day.

[Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi]

Amelie loved your parrot, Babel, and loved the Mermaid's Tale too.

And so did I! Great work.

[Qari]

[Ironside]

This was a fantastic character and this is a damned good obituary. 

[Moonlighter]

One final barb!

[LongswordPlusOne ] Bruno Oar-Back: [Talk] N-not dead yet!
[LongswordPlusOne ] Bruno Oar-Back: [Talk] FAHK
[Moonlighter] Lyrist Lynneth Llywarch: [Talk] A bit more bass in your voice when you say that, Bruno!
[DM] Muskroot : [Shout]  A great crash as the battle was met upon the flanks. The sound of steel, of broken limbs. A dread sound.
[LongswordPlusOne ] Bruno Oar-Back: [Talk] FAHK YOU
[LongswordPlusOne ] Bruno Oar-Back: [Talk] FAAAAAAAAAAAHK YOU

<3

[Dredi]

Agu made an Oar pun. Bruno, very Oar-nery.
Very good pun. Agu proud.