[A bandit journal.]

[zerotje]

It's a joy to expand one's hunting grounds to where prey concentrates. Hells, I used to have to watch groups of nomads for days to see if they even had anything to take.

But now, ha! Ephia's Well! Bloody treasure hoard. Unarmored lambs walking around feeling perfectly protected. They're only one strike away from me pillaging their belonings, paradise.

Were it not for those Janissaries! Decent soldiers, got to play it smart. But knowing myself they'll probably piss me off and get me into a mad rush.

I'll die before I waste life away with menial labor though. It is what it is, Agaslakku provides

[zerotje]

Spend an hour rolling from cactus to cactus pricking me up the arse trying to find this dungeater to bloody murder and I couldn't find the sod. What a waste of time but maybe if I waste enough time I can just enjoy the upfront pay from a soon-to-be corpse without doing any of the effort? Hey, now that's proper banditry. HAH!

[zerotje]

They don't know I've got ears and eyes. Talking carelessly about hunting me down and this and that. Heard that pilgrim I beat up in the Gutters cried to the Spear in the Creep who's now dead. It's amusing the arrogance these goatshaggers hold even after being brutalized. Not understanding that messing with me or any bandit whoreson might have dire consequences. A childlike naivety. It pisses me the Hells off. If I see that pisser, I'll grab him again.

[zerotje]

I hope nobody finds out I got chased off by a little girl.

[zerotje]

Whacked the snitching pilgrim over the head. Didn't feel satisfying in retrospect. But no skin off my teeth!

[zerotje]

I wish people would stop calling me Phil Lashio. I gave that joke name to a recruit to insult him, and he took it seriously, not understanding it's just Fellatio. Phil Lashio. Gods preserve me. These people deserve to get robbed.

[zerotje]

I think I killed the only person capable of resurrection. You've got to be pissing joking me. I'm still going to demand my coin, I did the deed! Or I'll kill my employer instead.