A small book of personal notes.

[Scitus]

I've always been a shit poet. So if you've managed to get this, don't judge me too harsh.

Paradise

Paradise

A place of peace and happiness

A promise from a different time

What paradise waits for me

I killed a man before I kissed a girl

I've stolen more than I've ever shared

What blood soaked garden paradise

would take a person like me.

[Scitus]

Me and the rat have been talking. He still won't give me his name, and I'm not really sure it's a he rats don't really use pronouns like that, and considering we can talk I feel like it's bad form to check.

Anyway, That last one was close and the rat said It's my fault, I should have trained them better how to support each other. I suppose that's true, but on the other hand they're all trained warriors and the like. They should know how to act. The Rat reminded me that I wasn't as prepared as I should have been either.

I know I just didn't want to let Quisquis down again.

Then the rat ripped a page out of one of my books, I guess it can read too. I better never let it see my journal.

[Scitus]

Well, the rat's giving me an earful again. How could I be so stupid as to challenge him to a fight, what's worse is I didn't cheat. Tells me I've forgotten where I come from, this fortress, this city. It's made me soft, by making me strong. I've forgotten what it's like to know everything's stronger than you, I've forgotten the lessons of the rats.

It's right, it's always right.

[Scitus]

Of all the challenges the path I've chosen has given me, the worst among them is silence. I have come to believe there is no desire so great as voice. Not food, or water, not gods or crowns. All men ache to be heard, to scream, to let others know you are there. That you lived, that you drank, that you were real.

The Rat says I'm beginning to understand.

[Scitus]

I sat across from him for a long time today. Just sitting there, not saying a world. I wanted to ask him if it was worth it, if he'd do it all again. Burn everything again, be hated again, be relegated to a contemptable fate again.
 
I don't say a word.