Rukmini [Tell]: Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the Trogs of war!
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A Really Scholarly Report by Myra Torrens
Quote from: "Neat Creatures of Ymph and Their Habitats" Hello reader! I'm taking the time to write up this really neat report so that you can know exactly what to expect when you decide to go exploring the really neat island we all call Ymph. It's a pretty exciting place, and really usually pretty nice, but it can be dangerous, too. There's a lot animals that look pretty nice from a distance, but won't really let just anyone walk up and pet them. Then there's the ones that look really ugly, and usually are just as bad to get close to as you'd expect.
I. Animals:
Since the animals are the best, I'm starting with them. On Ymph you can expect to find boars just about anywhere, except not really up all the way in the mountains. Not much lives up there, really. Deer seem to stick mostly to the grassy areas, which is where you'll usually find badgers, too. In case you don't know what a badger is, it's like a bigger and feistier version of a rat, with less of a tail and more stripy fur. Speaking of rats, you'll sometimes see them, too, in gross places like the bog or underground tunnels. And while you're in places like that, it's a really good idea to watch out for cobras, since they are probably around too.
Some of the rarer animals on Ymph are wolves and bears. It's best just to leave them be, really, but if a bear charges you, it's important to stand firmly in place and just smile. Really, the smile helps, I promise. But, um, if it knocks you down, playing dead is really your only option, and you shouldn't worry about trying to keep up the smile, in that case.
The best animals on all of Ymph, though, are the cats. They can be found almost anywhere, really, from the low grasslands and open meadows where they like to frolic, to the wooded thickets and even the edges of the bogs where they hunt and prey upon lesser creatures that we're really better off without. They come in a whole big variety of different shapes and sizes, and have different personalities to match. Panthers like to slink. They're really sly and pretty agile, and halflings and small children should probably be careful going through their territory, which is usually identifiable by how there's a lot less small game running around. Leopards are a lot more distracting than panthers with all those spots, which really help them blend in pretty well on a sunny day when the light and shadows makes patches on the forest floor. If you see one, remember to give him respectful distance, because these are some of the more powerful cats around, really. Cat watching is always safest from a little ways away, unless you're really experienced in how to behave around them. Oh, I couldn't go much farther without mentioning jaguars, since they are also cats, and really majestic ones, at that. I pretty much never see these, but I think they live mostly in the deep forest, where they are like kings and queens of the jungle. Saber tigers also prowl along the southern coastline and near the southern side of the mountain the Flayer Stargazers(1) live on. They are very large, and definitely the most powerful of cats I've met on Ymph. I haven't been able to make friends with any of the tigers yet, and fighting back seems to be, sadly, the best option, really. Be sure that anytime you find it necessary to slay a cat in self defense, you do the right thing and bury it respectfully. Skinning and selling the hides only contributes to this awful idea that cat fur is really trendy and fashionable, which it really, really isn't.
II. Bugs:
So really bugs don't count as animals, and they're not very neat so I probably shouldn't even be putting them in here, just because they're so gross, but really people need to be warned about them so they can stay away.
The grossest and creepiest of all bugs are spiders. I've seen way more spiders than I ever wanted to see, and I really don't like thinking about how I'm probably going to see more. Otula said they're a staple of any really good adventure(2), but honestly I think all adventures would be improved pretty much a lot by getting rid of them. Spiders come in lots of kinds, and nobody should really like any of them.
Bad Spiders: Rock spiders and sand spiders are some pretty bad spiders. They're small, but don't let their little size fool you, they hate all life just as much as any other kind of spider does. I think they're mad because controlling all those legs is really distracting. These ones live in caves and on beaches. There's a really gross sand spider nest up on the northern beach. Stay away from it.
Worse Spiders: Phase spiders and giant spiders are just about the creepiest kind of spiders you can find. They live mostly in the webbed woods, which is probably about the worst place on Ymph, except those places that are full of undead or spiders even creepier and grosser than these ones. Phase spiders are really horrible because they can teleport right to you and then you can't get them off and it's disgusting. Giant spiders are just about like sand spiders, only way bigger.
Worst Spiders: Hunting spiders actually go out and seek large prey to dissolve into icky mush with their venom. If that's not gross, I don't know what is. Dire spiders are on this list because they're a little bigger and meaner than giant spiders, and they can see through magical invisibility. Statue spiders are a kind so bad I've only heard of them, but really I don't even feel comfortable writing about them so just know you should stay away from untrustworthy mirrors in old ruins.
Aside from spiders, Ymph has hornets, leeches, beetles, and other gross creepy crawly things that mostly live in bogs or in the woods. Compared to spiders, these are a little less terrible, but still really not pleasant at all to run into.
Footnotes:
1. Really creepy.
2. One of the most fun things to do on Ymph. If you are having a lot of fun, it is probably a really good adventure.