Robert Pattinson is INFACT a real Vampire!

[Loghaire]

 
http://summer08.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978325459
 
  As some of you may know already, it is now considered safe to kill not only the British Monarchy, but Robert Pattinson, the star of Twilight. Due to a recent discovery, it has been found that Robert Pattinson is a descendant of none other than the father of all vampires, Vlad the Impaler. That's right ladies and gentledung. Fucking vampires! It has also been discovered that he is related to ole Vlady through his family, the British Monarchy! (Those sausage pushing Krauts!) Therefore, it is now considered perfectly fine to kill them (again!) with a wooden stake. You're welcome.

[Drakill Tannan]

Fuck. The Tepes bloodline just got tainted. Vlad ain't my hero anymore.

[Oskar Maxon]

THUGS DON'T SPARKLE