The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 1st, IY 7788

Richo came to Akna's office, yelling about there being a new statue at the Pyramid... But it was just that old one, depicting a knightly lady! Well, relatively old. How had he never noticed it?! I was so excited, too... How disappointing!

Then, later, Alejandro, Athelia, Elias and Richo visited my home... Richo wanted to tell one of his twin tales, because my home is one of the crossroads in His Temple...? Anyhow, unlike that statue, it was highly intriguing, even though a lot of Richo's tales are kind of sad...? This one was about how Kula and Warad lost their love for each other... Well, there was more, too, but I think that was the most important part!

I enjoy having visitors, but I'm still not quite used to it... I don't really know if I'm supposed to brew some tea, or coffee, or if I'm supposed to have some pastries prepared, do I have to have a parlor game, what about conversation starters, do I have to have those ready or is it more spontaneous, all of this is really hard... Having your own home is so weird!

Kroggnought quit! It wasn't too surprising, but I wonder what made him decide so quickly...? He's a Scarab, now. If it was the Fourth talking to him about it, I do wish they'd informed me, beforehand. But nobody really comes to me about stuff like that... Instead I find out at the very last moment! We lost one of our best water couriers! Oh, well... I'm not going to clip someone's wings when they're ready to fly. I'll miss him, though!

Then there was a hostage situation... Some strange revenants...? They took Faisal, Diocletes, Lightdew... They even took Kroggnought, at first, but they let him go at the very first moment! Such an assorted bunch of people! Thankfully everyone made it back, safely! Apparently it had something to with Red Hill...? How peculiar! I hope that they don't want anything with me! Last thing I need is some sociopaths hunting down the survivors... I want to forget about the whole ordeal, I still have nightmares about it...

Some people don't call me Vizier! I'm not sure what to think about that...? Maybe being the Vizier without anyone realizing will make my job easier...? Well, outside important diplomatic negotiations, anyhow. It'll be just plain embarassing if the ambassadors don't know who I am!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 2nd, IY 7788

More archaeology at Nusrum! This time, with Alejandro, Elias, and Meadow... Meadow really needs to carry some spare clothes with her! She sweats like a hog! As for the history... Mostly stuff I already knew! But that doesn't matter, any time spent with friends is well worth it!

I think Qari's having some sort of midlife crisis, except delayed by a few decades... He came to the Pyramid, dressed up in a most stylish black suit, and he was also smoking the finest cigars! Also, he spoke in a far smoother way than usual, and he actually had a healthy amount of confidence, instead of being full of the usual miserable conceit! He asked me to shake Martin on the rocks! What does that mean...? I'm not going to do that. Anyhow, five minutes later, he was back in his usual toga, selling junk at the Souk. That was fast!

I saw a mime! He's really good, so he obviously went to Mime School... Are most mimes mute, or is it like a monk thing, where completely abandoning something that you are capable of brings you a better understanding of it...? Maybe mimes are really wise. All I know is that this one is really funny!

Akna and Gausim sure argue a lot... It's nothing new between Legates, but this time it was really awkward. Because they're my bosses, I can't tell them to shut up, or to try to engage in a spontaneous therapy session! There's so many important things to take care of, and it's all just a bunch of "he said, she said"! It's so annoying! I do wonder about the core of the problem, too... It might just be a tendency that some Ephians have. If I said that I'm considering getting a puppy to someone, ten people would later ask to see said pupper. I think consideration is a foreign conceipt to most here...

Today's Assembly is extremely important. More so than usual! So, I know someone's going to absolutely ruin it... I'm so high-strung! I drank so much chamomile, burned so much incense, and that didn't help at all... It's going to be absolutely horrible!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 3rd, IY 7788

It was horrible!

Actually, "horrible" doesn't even begin to describe it! We had the director from Gohari visit us, and yes, she was horribly bored, but that was nothing, just absolutely nothing, compared to what followed, when Skarn came in and informed us that Lucia had been made a Recluta... A call for Vico's arrest was made, for treason! Then, while the Fourth were looking for him, he just walked into the Chamber, and dumped Lucia's corpse onto the floor!

They had fooled her into joining the Banda...? And after she did that, they just killed her...? That's so devious... Anyhow, after beating him up, they put Vico in some shackles, and were about to walk him out, when suddenly, Koji began stabbing him with his katana! It was absolutely brutal, and visceral, and disgusting, it was horrifying, I hated it, I couldn't watch it! Koji killed Vico!

And then... the blood seeped all over... It might've reached the Stele, I couldn't see in the chaos, but the Stele was profaned! Vile magicks surrounded it, and the Pyramid shook, the entire Well trembled and rattled, it was horrifying, I was so scared, I wanted to go home, but I couldn't... It was absolutely terrifying...

And amidst all the ruckus, somehow, the Stele was committed to the Wyrm! How...? Some say that it was Gary, but it doesn't make sense, because he's such a nice guy, and we haven't trained him in the operation of the Stele, so he wouldn't even know how to do anything to it...? I do wish people wouldn't spread such vicious rumors...

So, the Pyramid had to be evacuated... Apparently some snakes moved in during that...? Martin told us, outside. He was stuck on the balcony, and I told him to get down, but I didn't mean it like that, but he understood it like that, so he jumped down! But, since it's Martin, he wasn't hurt too bad. I think Martin will survive the apocalypse...

Later, the Fourth wanted to talk to Martin about something, so they invited him to the garrison, and Gary was his advocate, and we waited around for so long, but when they finally came, they were wondering why we were there...? YOU ASKED US TO COME! I know that it was a chaotic day, but that was so weird!

And, then, even later, the Grandmaster sent a taskforce of the Rose to the Pyramid, to purify the Stele, so, I opened the front doors, and went along, myself, and it was so scary, but I wasn't too scared, because Narwen was there, and those Balladeers actually know how to fight once they actually get down to it... After we did a clockwise Wheel ritual around the ground floor's obelisk, there were a lot of dead snakes, all about... So much work for the custodial staff... Anyhow, in the end, Gausim purified the Stele, while the Rose kept watch! I was praying so much, to B'aara, and Warad, both! I'm glad the Stele could be saved... Yet I worry for the future!

As if that weirdness wasn't enough, later, we were wondering just where the hell Maddicus was... And as we were doing that, he appeared in a flash of foul, spooky magicks! It was highly suspicious! He told us that he had been trapped in the Burgus, again, yet had been able to escape. I'm not sure if I believe him... He could've escaped much sooner if that was the case...? Since he already knew how he could escape...? In the most depressing way possible...?

Anyhow, all this suspicious shit jogged my memory about some weird stuff Maddicus had asked me to help him with! It might be tied to what happened to the Pyramid? I'm not sure? He's an insane schemer, and insane schemers have so many schemes that it's really difficult to know where they begin and end...

I told the Fourth about it, and Maddicus found out, and now he sees me as a traitor... A traitor to the License Wars... Which I wasn't actually part of to begin with, I just care about tax revenue. I think Maddicus wants to kill me now...? I hope not... I wish he'd hit his head again, and go back to his old self, because not only would it make me feel safer, it'd also be a really big improvement to our work atmosphere. Everyone's scared of him, now!

And then, much, much, much later, Richo was moving at hyperspeed, again, so, me, Lightdew and Pauvera decided to follow along to see what it was that he wanted to show us at the First Wheel! Well, he just wanted to race around it... which was fun! And after that, we wandered around for a bit in those scorpion caves. Couldn't really find the cave etchings he wanted to show us...
 
So, we started walking back towards the Well, and we ran into Trusty Pete! I've only heard about him before... He had a fairy in a jar! So, I tried buying it from him... But he's such a slow counter! He attempted to count all the way to five hundred, one by one... and he kept messing up the count, and restarting... I'm pretty sure it was all a scam, and he was never going to give me the jar! So, I yelled at him, which startled him, and he threw the jar in the air...

Richo tried grabbing the jar, but he fell on it, instead! The poor fairy was dead, somehow squished under Richo's featherweight frame... Richo killed my newest friend! But, I suppose I can forgive him, since he was trying to save them... It'll be hard, but I'll try my hardest, like Narwen does, because she has a lot of people to forgive and it's really difficult and I don't like it either but I really like Richo and I don't want to be angry with him even though I really wanted to befriend that fairy...

I was going to free them, and ask where fairies live... I wanted to visit Fairyland, and learn fairy magick, because I think fairy magick is more about beauty than other forms of magick, and I'm really beautiful, so I obviously would learn it pretty easily... Even if they wouldn't have told me, it would still have been a good deed! Saying goodbye to that fairy was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...

I guess the lesson here is... Never trust people who keep living beings in jars! They're basically slavers! Next time someone tries to sell me something like that, I'll kick them in the crotch, grab the jar, and run away while opening it!

Oh, and the second lesson is... don't spill blood around ancient Steles! Actually, just don't spill blood, in general! Life'd be much better...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 4th, IY 7788

Zain told me about the fae to make me feel better... Apparently, the fairy might've asked me for my firstborn (not going to happen), or my first adopted... I'm not giving Tonka to anyone! So, while I still wish I could've freed that fairy, maybe our friendship wouldn't have worked out, in the end. I think I'd prefer to befriend a brownie, but I've no milk to steal... What I'm learning here is that the fae are just plain weird, and friendships with them involve a lot of broken social mores!

Some potions of shielding magicks are blue, and some are purple. What's up with that? Emmanuel told me that there was an insane wizard, who was convinced that they were blue all along, so they filled the market with the blue ones? Zain, on the other hand, said that it's just artificial colorings, designed to make them more appealing? Maybe it's a combination of both... Why do some folk call the blue ones "blue lean", though? That's such a weird name!

There was an impromptu diplomatic envoy to Spring's Gift... Quite difficult. Especially when I'm not given the entirety of the truth, which makes it look as if I'm lying, or keeping something from them. The excuse given was that Zol Nur is a slow speaker! Maybe so, at times, but it sounds like an excuse... Especially when the Astronomers just conveniently forget to mention things so often that it is basically to be expected. I was quite irritated... but at least the talks went rather well, in the end.

Later, I did some interior design for the Tower... It was pretty challenging, too, because Stern and Mevura have such strange priorities. Zain seemed to be only one with a modicum of taste... He knows plenty of flowers, too, which is one of the most charming traits a man can have. Anyhow, even a workplace has to be comfy, yet I think the Apothars wanted it to look miserable on purpose? I don't get it. I had to repeat myself so many times to get even one couch in the hallway they were renovating, and I'm not sure if I managed to fully convince them...

Also... Nadiri Nailo lives inside the broom closet...? I think...?

Anyhow... Interior design in Ephia's Well is so difficult, in general. I've so many ideas, but I have to work inside such a limited framework... Fine art is rare here, so are flowers, and heaven forbid if you want a simple secrétaire à abattant... Or even an encoignure! That hallway would've looked so delightful with a few of those!

Oh, also... I bought an egg! It is the eggiest egg I've ever seen. I'm going to try hatching it... I hope there's a cute bird inside.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 5th, IY 7788

Narwen showed me a secret! I'll never tell anyone else, because we're such good friends! I do wish she'd have visited my home for longer, though... I wish I'd get more guests in general... Anyhow, I'm really looking forward to the celebration at Spring's Gift! I'm going to try and knit a scarf as a gift... It has to be fashionable, yet practical, since the newborn do have to travel out amongst the wastes every now and then... Green is the color of choice, but I have about a dozen different varities of green yarn, so... Difficult decisions ahead!

Some weird guy with absolutely awful fashion sense came up to me at the Krak... He had this completely nonsensical story about how he lost his chip, and needed some help making a bellow advertising their stall... Since it was such obvious bullshit, I didn't do do that! I got a really bad feeling about that guy, he was such a creep! I think I'm going to start avoiding the Krak again if weirdos like that are going to try and take advantage of me...

Izdu has gifted Marcellus with blessed sight... Yet he uses it to check people's purses! That's so weird! I suppose that counts as seeking knowledge, but it still seems a rather misguided use of such gifts... If I had such sight, I'd use it for far more important things! Like looking inside boxes and barrels, or making sure that a guy actually has abs, because sometimes their arms fool you into thinking that the rest of them is just as vigorous...

Apparently there was a lot of quaking and the Gutter Beast was set loose...? I didn't see any of that, because I was fast asleep. So was Tonka, and Inky. I don't know how Inky sleeps, exactly, or if they dream, but they kind of don't move about as much when they're doing that...? I think it's sleep, anyhow.

I DO NOT SLEEP. NEITHER DO I ENGAGE IN REVERIE. MY FINELY CALIBRATED MENTAL APPARATUSES HAVE NO NEED OF SUCH FRIVOLOUS ACTIVITIES LIKE "RESTING".

I don't think I believe you, Inky! I think you do sleep, and you have dreams, just like everyone else! What do you dream of...?

I DREAM OF A WORLD WHERE PERSONAGES DO NOT ASK SUCH FOOLISH QUESTIONS.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 6th, IY 7788

Recently, I've been so sleepy... Zain gave me plenty of tips on how to fix my evening routine, so that I can get more out of my sleep. Turns out that relaxing is more complicated than I thought! Even a simple bath could kill you, if you relax too much. Yet as far as dying in the Ash Desert goes, drowning in your bathtub seems one of the comfier ways to go... But if I live until I'm 170, I'm not sure if there will be any bathtubs left!
 
While I was contemplating his advice... The Big Heron kidnapped me! It carried me all the way to Nusrum, into the middle of a battlefield! It was horrifying! Especially because Blackbelly kept being a creep towards me! Oh, yeah. There was also a lot of fire, blood, and strange orcan magicks from beyond the stars! That too.

I have trouble concentrating to begin with, but I couldn't focus at all there, so I walked into the middle of a horrendous field of black tendrils, and nearly died... I hit my head so bad that I forgot about Tonka's birthday, which is somewhere in Tesrin Hray, probably somewhere around the tenth to the fourteenth, according to a vet's expert opinion... It's so terrible that I no longer remember anything about her birthday! I'm pretty sure it was the twelfth, actually... It's absolutely awful, not having even the faintest idea of my dear Tonka's birth! Oh, and the vet said that she was probably born in the evening... It's simply dreadful, not being able to remember anything about it at all!

After the horrid battle, the Big Heron snatched me again! It carried me all the way to the Plaza... Apparently people had been looking for me all over. It's good to know that people care... Anyhow, back at my stately abode, Zain washed my uniform and mended it back together... He's a real peach, like always. He doesn't seem to believe that Pirouz is real, either... I don't know what's so difficult to believe about him? The implications are quite rude, really, I'm perfectly capable of maintaining a relatively healthy relationship!

After that, I got Ashley to do a checkup on me, because I had this awful headache... Normally I'd go to my doctor, Vijaya Bollimunta, but I was so worried and I didn't want to bother her abruptly... Apparently the headache's due to a humoral imbalance. She's going to send some herbal tea to the Pyramid for me to drink. I don't know what to think about that! Medicine that you actually like sounds just weird... I think the more disgusting a medicine is, the more effective it is!

Also... Narwen's brother is hot! I wonder if he's single...?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 7th, IY 7788

Some weird guy was doing potion audits... He gave me a zero out of five and called me the devil! It's not my fault that my bag is a mess, so often... People gift me all sorts of things, and then I forget to organize them... And it doesn't help that after the Big Heron kidnapped me, my brews were all over the place, because some of them are identical, but won't fit into the same pouch, because of brew antimagnetism or something!

Anyhow, later, that guy was emptying his own, horribly messy bag all over the place, and his sippy drink landed right next to me, but Narwen took it... I was really curious what the sippy drink tasted like! That's a little greedy of her! Folk also took a bunch of tinkering materials, and I offered to buy them, but nobody accepted my offer... I don't even know any tinkers besides Zain here, anyhow, so I don't know what they're doing with those!

Occasionally, Alejandro works as a muse for some folk, especially the Nadiri. I've worked as a muse, too! But unlike Alejandro, I didn't sing, I just stood around, looking pretty... I guess that it was more like being a model than a muse, in the end, though so many artists have called me their muse, at some point... After the muse work, he and Elias had a digging date! Alejandro insists that it wasn't a date, and got really flustered, which means that it absolutely was one! How does a digging date differ from a regular dig...? I guess there's flowers, and the snacks are more delightful than hardtack and salted camel...?

I still have a headache, which is awful on its own, but then a bunch of folk wanted to talk to me about their campaign policy... It would've been dreadful, but thankfully they were respectful of my headache, and they didn't force it... Instead, I went to a meeting of the Purple, and listened to a bunch of yelling, instead! That was really stupid of me... Now my headache is worse... Anyhow, as an outcome of the meeting, Marcellus is running for Legate again! I hope he wins... It'll be like old times... and now that I know his pecularities, I can just do my nails while he's running around, doing who knows what!

They asked me to run, too... I don't know why they always do that...? I never want to be a Legate! I'd rather the Big Heron carry me somewhere... Preferably a comfy beach! Apparently Zol Nur's been planning a surprise beach vacation, for himself, me, Alejandro and Richo. Since it's a surprise, I'm supposed to carry around swim trunks and coconuts with me, at all times. Which I was already doing, mind you... Well, I don't carry swim trunks, those are far too chaste for someone like me!

One of the lessons I taught Kroggnought seems to have stuck with him! He can write his name, now! It takes him a lot of time, but he can still do it! I'm really proud of him! Soon, maybe in a year or so, he will be able to write a whole sentence! As long as it is six words or less...

Also, Eclair's stick is really tiny, now! What happened?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 8th, IY 7788

My Efuddy word for yesterday was "heron"! Did the Big Heron sneak up to the board and rearrange the letters? Or was it Maddicus, like some are suspecting? Or was it that accursed Don Honey, Horatio Servario? I'll find out next time! Probably.

Anyhow, I gave some extremely dangerous materials to Zain, and he made a most holy trap out of them. I don't get how that works, but that's what he did. I think someone like Eclair might like such a trap, if they were into hunting, or something. Me, I don't know much about traps, I just know how to trigger them without people or cute animals getting hurt... Which is just about enough, I'd say!

Some jerk of a professor came to the Souk and kept quizzing Alejandro! According to his idiotic tendencies, history is all about random trivia! No, it isn't... History is all about forbidden lust, delicious drama, and fateful mistakes in fashion! And if it wasn't enough that he kept insulting Alejandro... He accused me of making up my many boyfriends! Why would I make them up, or the trauma caused by them...? I think he's jealous! Some of these guys are just catty bitches, because somehow they can't manage to get any, despite guys being really, really, really easy! I go for quality over quantity, these days, however. It's why I'm dating Pirouz!

WHO IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY REAL, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY! WORDS CAN'T BRING ME DOWN!

Anyhow... I'm going to befriend the Big Heron! Alejandro helped me visit Frostport, so that I could buy some fish from the market... The way to a heron's heart is a lot of fish! A lot of stinky, fatty fish... It smells really bad. But if I have make some sacrifices to ensure that the Big Heron won't kidnap me again! Otherwise, I might end up being snatched somewhere else totally horrible... Like... a pirate's... wedding...? I think pirates are very choosy about their guests, so that'd be... dangerous? I don't know.

Oh, yeah. There also was another Horatio, at the Pyramid. It wasn't that nefarious Don Honey, Horatio Servario, however. His name was... I think it was Horatio Explosivo. He said that he was going to explode, anyhow. But he didn't explode, which is good, because our custodial staff already has to clean a lot of fucked up shit! Which is why I try to pay them extra, every now and then... Anyhow, it was all a ploy in order to meet Akna, so that they could discuss politics. Turns out that guys who lie about exploding are really, really, really weird! He mostly just kept insulting her, and me and Athelia! Athelia should've slammed him with a piledriver! In a strictly political sense, of course. A political piledriver! Also, he asked for wine, but I didn't give him any, despite having some, because I don't give wine to rude weirdos!

Apparently, Akna doesn't really drink...? She's going to have such a hard time because of that if she gets re-elected!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 9th, IY 7788

Apparently, Lightdew sometimes forgets to eat... for upwards to two days! That's not good... Samton should remind her! Or they should just eat lunch together... With the places that Samton goes to, she'd never be hungry, ever again!

Narwen told us about Alopex, the fox, and Saphraak the spider... It was such an entertaining tale! However... Now I want to see foxes! Which is easily done, because I can just borrow a telescope from the Astronomers and look for fennecs out in the dunes!

Zain invented a gun that shoots lightning... It's wondrous! Wondrously dangerous! It keeps buzzing and fizzing and whirring... Sometimes Zain's hair shoots up, due to the latent energies within the weapon! I would love such a firearm, if it were the size of a sling... and the shape of a sling... in fact, just make it a sling!

MARCELLUS HAD A PARTY, AND HE DIDN'T INVITE ME! THAT OLD, CRUSTY GOAT! I only got there because some strange force teleported me to the party... If it were not for that mysterious stranger, I wouldn't have gotten any cake, or gotten to dance, or seen some truly spooky shit!Well, I wouldn't have minded if I was spared from the latter... But cake? That's something I never want to miss! I know it's spiteful, but now I'm considering conveniently forgetting to invite him to my birthday bash... But I've also forgotten when my birthday is, so... I'm going to conveniently forget to invite anyone at all!

During the last moments of the party, Oro came around, and said that there was a disturbance, or something, and he used his gadgetidoo on me, and it beeped, and suddenly, Mevura and Zain were saying that I'm cursed... Cursed like Martin! That makes absolutely no sense, because I don't have that much bad stuff happen to me. I'm sure it's just their equipment, their spells and their expertful aptitude misreading the situation!

While I was being examined at the Tower, Richo came in, and Oro turned him into stone! Then Nadiri Eloise tried selling him as a statue! That's horrible! Then, after Gaius dispelled the curse of stone, Richo dropped one of his disgusting bug friends to the ground, for some reason, and Mevura set it ablaze, for some reason, and then the spores exploded everywhere and I breathed some of them in and I had a horrible headache... I'm teetotaller fine now, after a ton of healing magicks, a punch of medicine, and some noomi basra... I love limerence! I love lime. I meant that I love lime.
 
Also, Hypatia has a new girlfriend...? It's another Balladeer...? I suppose that she has an extremely specific type...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 10th, IY 7788

Xon sang with Alejandro! Alejandro was on lead vocals, and Xon was the one man chorus... It was so eerily beautiful! Xon's "sha la la" could probably be heard throughout the Plaza... I wish I could manipulate my voice like that. Maybe then people would pay attention to my advice... Probably not! I still wish I knew magickal musick... Music. I meant music. Anyhow, the song had cotton candy in it, so it obviously was one of the grandest songs ever!

I was afraid that politics would put a strain on my friendship with Akna, and they pretty much have... Maddicus, in his usual petty way, was undermining me, and my position as Vizier, and instead of saying a single word in my defense, Akna just told him that she's thought about removing positions from the Stele, before... Grand.

I mean, I'm very much aware that even when I manage to do a good job, I'll only get some faint praise in the form of a few words... After which they completely forget about my contributions, and most likely ignore any advice I gave. Then they act amicably to my face, yet they never invite me to any social gatherings, and talk ill of me behind my back, as if word of that doesn't reach me, later... This work doesn't afford one any respect, really. If I remember when my birthday is, I think I'm just going to invite Alejandro and Narwen, and nobody else. I'd love to invite Zain, too, but he's not really the type for parties... I think it might just bring him discomfort, really, even with such a limited guest list...

Anyhow... My plan worked! The Big Heron loves fish, just like any regular-sized heron! It was just about to snatch me, but I surrounded myself with plenty of fish, so, it grabbed one of those, instead... And so, satisfied with its snack, it did not kidnap me! The problem with this plan is that I'm going to be making a lot of trips to Frostport, if this keeps up! So, befriending the Big Heron can't be about just food, I have to figure out something else, as well... I don't really know what else herons like, though. Nesting materials, I suppose. I guess I can start carrying fronds and reeds with me...?

As for the Ephian Games... Meadow won. Again. Someone really should start training to challenge her, properly! A little boy was so excited to see the games, but in the end, he was kind of lukewarm about it all, and only really liked Bruno and Drin's performances... I don't really blame him! It is kind of dull when the same people keep winning... The Ephian Games need a dark horse! Or a dark camel...? Anyhow, someone really surprising should win! Someone with a lot of pep and pluck! Like, say... Martin...? I mean, that'd be really surprising, at least!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 11th, IY 7788

One of the new Balladeer students, Niranye, is studying art history! I think that just basically means that you take a look at what people painted in one period of time, and compare it with another period... Which sounds interesting enough! Certainly far more intriguing than the history of jurisprudence, or the history of mathematics, the latter of which is probably stuff like, I don't know, "oh, the number eight was discovered in this old fogey's cupboard while he was hard at work wasting his life away, during the Math Wars of 7777". Anyhow, I can't wait to read her... thesis? The Balladeers do theses, right? I'll read whatever it is...

The Banda keep offering me contracts at the worst possible times... I can't even enjoy a nice conversation with Narwen, or simply go to sleep, without them pestering me about one! That's bad business practise! Why would I sign a contract with some random arse who interrupts my conversations?! That just means that there's a good chance that if I hired them as my bodyguard, they'd keep doing that, unless the contract had a "no interruptions" clause, which probably costs extra...

Anyhow, I went along on yet another archaeological trek... With Alejandro, Badger, Elias, Meadow and Narwen! We found a haunted forge! There were a gaggle of ghosts, and a throng of those terracottas! I'd rather have found panna cotta! Anyhow, after we exorcised the place in a most violent fashion, a bountiful trove of gold appeared! Everyone was saying that it was cursed gold, though, so we didn't take any... Some Lily Leaguers say that all gold is cursed, so, in their eyes that treasure would've been just business as usual...?

Yet another auction, and yet another distinct dearth of a kettle! I'll never find a new one if this keeps up! Anyhow, I did buy some stuff... I bought a private history lesson from Alejandro! I am going to ask about the historical love, of course! I also bought that Writ of Mercy... Couldn't have that thing reaching the grubby paws of some folk! Would've been especially disastrous if it reached certain people... What a horrendous idea! Anyhow, I gave most of my savings to the fundraiser... I just want folk to have homes, and I'm not sure if I can help with that through anything else than a Lot of Money... Maybe rapacious scallywags will leave me alone, now, because I have less money than the average caravaneer...? I certainly hope so! I want my money to go to folk that actually need it, rather than dinguses that already have too much of it!

As for the purchases of others, Alejandro basically bought a trip as a gift for Elias! Usually, gifts of that nature come later in the relationship... They're moving through the stages pretty quickly! As for me and Pirouz... It's not looking good, he basically gets those letters every day now. He keeps saying that he isn't going to go back home, but just by looking at his expression while he says that... I can tell that there's no guarantees, whatsoever... It's horrid. If he ends up leaving, I'm not sure if I'm going to meet anyone like him, ever again... I'll probably end up going back to my old habits. Oh, and I really don't want to sound like a jealous bitch! I am happy for Alejandro and Elias! It's just that I wish I could be happy, too, for once in my life...

Also... Why's Oro in the League of White, now...?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 12th, IY 7788

Yesterday mostly revolved around Alejandro, Martin and the Big Heron! First of all, Alejandro thinks that I have a tendency to see pairs of people closer than they actually are... Which is complete nonsense! I absolutely don't! I saw a sparkle between him and Domhnall, and it turned out to be true, though in the end it was more like a gleam on a bone that's being fought over by two rabid dogs, who both want the same thing, but can't agree on how to get it, or even on sharing it, so... Yet it was still love! Horrible, ill-advised, agonizing love, yes, but love nonetheless!

I just realized that this analogy is rather insulting to Alejandro! I guess it's more like a most presentable pooch, being strangely allured by a mad mutt, and... Do bones even shine? I don't even know, I'm way too busy to come up with actually good analogies, and the damn dogs outside keep barking so loudly that I can't think about anything else!

Anyhow, later on... He was assaulted by bandits! They nearly killed him! Those grisly gangsters should face the full extent of the law... Which, here, is the edge of an axe! I do wish we had proper prisons, but some folk here are so crazy that I'm not sure if they can be rehabilitated! Which most prisons don't try to do, anyhow!

I am, of course, very glad that Alejandro was safe, in the end... It also meant that he could tell his tale about Feydsiyyar! Now, Feydsiyyar was so full of love... Where some folk swing both ways, Feydsiyyar swung to them so mightily that the very barriers of love shook! His first love, a most beautiful beau, sung such a stunning song, that Feydsiyyar's towerly prison was lowered to the very ground, granting him the freedom to love and yearn! Yet, in the end, the bard wasn't good enough for the picky bastard, because Feydsiyyar had a ton of lovers, afterwards! If someone's alluring aria lowered an entire tower for me, I'd stay with them for at least a year! Maybe only a month, if they were really annoying otherwise...

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Later in the day... Martin had somehow managed to get assigned to transporting some of the district funds! And, in his usual fashion, he tripped about a dozen times during said transport, causing the box of a Lot of Money to fly towards the skies... The Big Heron saw this! It descended upon the box, and flew off with it! Somewhere after this, the box had shifted holders again... The Glaziers had it! Either they nabbed it from the Big Heron's nest, or the Big Heron just dropped it through their roof!

Aaisha and me found out about this when we were talking to our newest hire, Horton... Who, by the way, is actually competent, surprisingly enough, despite being hired through the fast track recruitment program! Anyhow, tracking the trail of the money required a lot of detective work, along with bribery! Of course, the Glaziers first acted as if they didn't have the money, and then, when they could no longer deny it, they wanted a deal! The right for the laborers of the new district to join the union, and to bargain collectively, in exchange for returning the money... Akna took the deal.

Now, I know Hortsby is more corrupt than Jamileh's imagination, but I still think that there's some good in this... A corrupt union is better than no union at all! I have to act as if I'm disappointed, though... I think? Some other Purples hate unions, anyhow. Aaisha does. I think I should just go "mm" and nod along when she rants about it... Then again, I do that a lot, anyhow, because I don't really understand politics!

Anyhow, the money was returned, and Martin's on toothbrush duty, now. Cleaning the Pyramid with his toothbrush, that is. I do hope that he remembers to wash it properly afterwards... But I also know that he won't, and so, his teeth will be stained with centuries old dust! That's so gross!

How can I stop the Big Heron from doing such things...? Can such a thing even be accomplished...? There must be a heron expert that I can consult! One that knows about particularly humongous herons!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 13th, IY 7788

What type of milk is Frostport milk? Athelia knows, yet she won't reveal the secret! These milk secrets have been guarded for centuries... Which is to say that I don't usually visit whatever farms they have there, and I have no idea myself, besides a hunch that they have some of those really fluffy cows, that are also especially cute! Probably those incredibly shaggy goats, too... Anyhow, milk is an important part of a Scribe's work kit, especially when someone like Marcellus is in office... I'll have to tell the new Scribes about that, actually!

There's yet another new Nadiri, and she's kind of weird. Which isn't a surprise, because for every Zol Nur, there's about a ten Xons. In the past, this was quite a literal thing. Anyhow... She's a lot like Azimi, in that she's easily bored, she's obsessed with the ladies, and she makes strange sounds when she's irritated! However, instead of pixie dust, or whatever it was that Azimi huffed in her ostentatious youth to become like she is, this Nadiri huffed a lot of book dust instead, which gave her a lust for knowledge! ....It's just that the knowledge seems to mostly revolve around ladies. I don't really get it.

Why are they called sapphiric ladies here, anyhow? Back home we just called them lesbians. I don't know what sapphires have to do with ladies liking ladies, either! It's not like it's a particularly flamboyant bijou... A rogue stone, now that's decidedly chichi, yet I don't think "roguestonic" sounds good at all! Anyhow, this lady insisted that she's not sapphiric, and that she hates sapphires, and the color blue. So, being a Nadiri obsessed with ladies, she's in denial about a lot of things!

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Now, while this lady was asking a throng of questions about other ladies, some spiders swarmed the Office of Announcements, driving poor Kulam right out of there! There was about a badjillion gadjillion of them! Which is to say there were about a dozen, but even that is too many spiders to have in an office environment. Apparently this meant something to Zol Nur and the others, because they set on an expedition to the gutters!

When they came back, they had this tiny little crab man in chains! They took it to the Tower! The tiny little crab man had tiny little pants, and tiny little pincers. I don't know what tiny little crab men have to do with spiders, and I certainly did not know that they wear tiny little pants. What didn't surprise me in the least, was the fact that it was an utterly disgusting creature, because crabhood and manhood don't mix well! I guess the Astronomers are going to study how this unholy union between man and crab came to be...? They should make sure that it never happens again! Tiny little pants should be spared for brownies, and such, if they still exist, which I'm kind of leaning towards "yes" on, because the world could not be so cruel...

Elias' thesis is so grand, and I really like him, so I want to help him as much as I can! So, whatever spare flowers or plants or mushrooms I can find, I'm going to give to him! As much as I'd like to keep the flowers to myself, but, I've learned an important lesson about the importance of sharing... Or something. Anyhow, I told him about the funny little dancing mushroom that Alejandro and I met in the past, and he seemed really interested! And not just because that tiny feller was a most talented dancer... Sandcaps are curious creatures! I'd love to know more about them, so, I do hope Elias studies them, even if just a little!

Anyhow... Does jazz'eel attract spiders? I'm betting on "absolutely fucking not"! Those groovy hepcats only attract the swankiest of music aficionados... Like me!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 14th, IY 7788

Yesterday, the aspectral energies were most favorable... I managed to get both Athelia's favored aspect on her cape, and Alejandro's, on his boots! My theory is that if you're full of pep and pluck, the aspectral energies will begin behaving accordingly, and be allured by your positive attitude! So, if you really, really, really like the aspect of the Dervish in a most genuine way, just as an example, then that aspect will heed your call! Since aspectral energies seem to correspond to collective concepts, thoughts, personas... Fables and such... I have another theory! If you're positive enough, they can be transformed! So, the aspect of the "Foolish" could metamorphize into the "Lucky Fool", if you simply view its qualities positively enough!

I won't be presenting my theory to anyone, though, because academic folk are mean snobs and they'd just laugh at me...

Ashley gave me a transmogrifying potion! It turned me into a fairy! It was absolutely fabulous! And of course, the question on every dickweed's lips was if I already wasn't one... I can't even enjoy being a tiny, flying bundle of joy without someone attempting to humiliate me! I considered flying away, but the spell was very short in duration, so... No such luck. Now that I know how it feels to fly, I think I understand the Big Heron a little better. I think. Vaguely.

Narwen has very strong opinions about falafel... She got so mad when I told her that I like cold falafels! I think a true falafel aficionado enjoys their falafels, no matter the degree of heat! And I mean... I don't like hot salads, and falafels are a fabulous addition to any salad, so... Now I can't bring a handy snack with me to the Spring's birthday, because Narwen banned cold falafels from there. I think I'll just bring an egg salad, then... or a huge bowl of muhammara!

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Alejandro gave me a lecture on love! Historical love! There's a lot of juicy drama to be found in the past... some of it really surprising! A depressing recurrence that I noticed was that people were really scared of the largest of loves, so, a bunch of princes, caliphs and such had to hide the fact that they preferred manly company! Love should be allowed to bloom... Such prudes are simply jealous that they can never truly know the connection that only two beautiful beaus can share!

Anyhow, the most surprising thing... Alejandro gave me a kiss! It was a brotherly kiss! On my head! But still, I'm not used to such things, I still don't like shaking people's hands, because it feels uncomfortable, especially with women, and sometimes, when I hug a guy, I think that they're going to want something else too, because most of the men I've known in my life have been real sleazebags, and it's awful... Love is so multifaceted, and intimacy between friends is so difficult for me, sometimes...

Do I really have to get serious with Pirouz...? Maybe I'm now allowing myself to be hurt, but can't I just have something that's between casual and serious...? I think right now I need that more than I need a tempestuous deluge of emotion...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 15th, IY 7788

What an awful day... I was hard at work at the office, trying to take a nap, when suddenly, there was a bellow about Zain being murdered! I ran to the Plaza, which was absolutely full of people, and I saw Zain's maimed form, and I felt so weak, I felt so awful, I felt like I had the weight of the entire Disc on my shoulders, yet, then, I heard his voice, and he was still talking, and people were saying that Xon gave his life to save him...

And I burst into tears, because I knew that Xon was never coming back. I don't really understand what happened to him, but I suppose I never really understood death to begin with, so...

I am glad, I am so, so, so glad to see Zain all right... Yet I am burdened with more worry, because he's behaving so strangely now, he smiled, and he blushed, he never did either, and he actually wanted to have dinner with me... He's still Zain, but it's like some layer that was hidden deep beneath was brought to the fore, somehow.

I am not certain at all why anyone would want to hurt Zain. Yet I suppose that is simply how some people are, here... They simply want to hurt others, merely for the sake of doing it. There really isn't anything more to it, merely their defective minds directing them towards deeds that bring forth agony and pain, and nothing else.

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And now, some want to take Zain away... They say that it is unnatural for him to live. They merely focus on that, and not the gratuitous violence on display in the very centre of our home. Such is the state of things. Violence is to be accepted. It's just something that happens. Someone living, even if it is admittedly miraculous...? To be denied, to be viewed with suspicion...

I really wanted to yell at Elias. I think I'm going to avoid him for a while.

And will any retribution come from all this...? I feel like Qari will keep slithering into positions of power, clutching to whatever dinar he can get his disgusting claws on, merely for the sake of having it, all the while dimwits like al-Marain continue to be blind to the sheer incompetence that radiates forth from his viperous form... and these things will merely keep happening. All for the sake of greed.

I wrote a letter to Xon. I removed it from the folder. Looking upon it feels harrowing, considering why I wrote it...

I'll miss him so much.

A letter to Xon. Notes: Musk, white florals and yeast.

Dear Xon,

it is very likely that you are still being judged for your appearance. You should simply disregard such ignorance. As schmaltzy as it might be, remember that it is the inside that counts. Coming from someone as judgmental as me, it simply must be true.

You are Xon. You might be a lot of different things, at different times, but in the end, you are Xon, and you are a good person. They might call you insane, or strange. None of that matters. You genuinely strive to help people, no matter where they might come from. Even if it happens to be another dimension.

You deserve to be Apothar. Azimi, Mevura, Stern, Kreutz... all of them are, or were, far more insane than you could ever possibly be.

Thank you for all the bijoux. They brought both me and Tonka much joy. I hope that you too can find happiness in this life, as difficult as it might seem.

Bashir

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