A Earthen Brown Leather Tome with Dwarven Runes and an Open-Palm Hand

[CrimsonMedicine]

Maribeh 20th, IY 77899

And there came a day when you could no longer sing, for your voices were buried beneath the fall of stone, and only echoes answered you.

As of late, I have had little passion for writing. I've been walking the Well, wallowing in self-pity and sadness. All I can think about is how few Dwarves remain, or how many of my brothers died in war. I feel alone, lonely, and empty. Like a black hole is inside me, trying to swallow up all the happiness people try to bring to me. But, for now, in this moment, I feel inspired to write once more. Is it fleeting? Yes, probably, but for now, my quill moves easily across paper.

For so long, I tell people I am good. That nothing is wrong. I am fine. Most short-lived races merely use these questions as a greeting. Some form of pleasantry. To ask how one is doing. Do they really care, do they want to hear the truth? Or is it just some form of greeting?

So, slowly, I've been testing the waters. Sharing my plights with others. I think people begin to view one as a title. Hakem. Speaker. Rathgan. Veteran. Survivor. The more titles that are added to it, people forget that I am just 'Korin' underneath it all. I've done some things that will hopefully help.

I found counsel with Zol Nur this morning. Speaking to him of our shared plights. He has experienced loss, too, and knows that we must keep living for the dead. To carry their memories for no one else will. That we must push on, otherwise the dead died for nothing. I don't want to go on dreary and mope around the Well. My brothers are dead. My love is dead. Even still, I have duties that must be done, and I am still alive.

For too long have I been looking down at my feet, taking step after step. Not really looking where I was going as my mind looked to the past. I realize now I must lift my head, to gaze up at the stars. To see distant friends lights reflected back at me. To find joy and laughter in the present.

I've since thought of this future and hired people to help me. Help me find the Heir of Got Valdhazr. Coin comes and goes, and the Dwarves of Kulkund have too long coveted dinar when there are people who need it. It's among the acts that saw the High and Deep kin at arms against one another. Maybe a fresh set of eyes will bring success where I have failed countless times over and over.

Who knows, if they bring me nothing? Then I will have the same amount of info I started with, but if they bring me something, anything. Then I would spend all the gold I need to fulfill the promise I made to Ulfgrim. It will be worth it.

"If we have a dark mind, clouded by sorrow then even the light others shed, is dimmer for it." - Zol Nur, Starlight.

[Korinthus Dûngir's Painting Check Skills are Above Average.]



- Mount Kulkund during the colder months, painting from memory.

How long have I been clouded by sorrow? The war took everything from me, but it doesn't mean that I can't get pieces back. I live. I remember. I move forward.

Wisdom, light my way.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Maribeh 22nd, IY 7789

And I kept your song in the hollows of the earth, where silence is long and memory deeper still.

Whilst my mind is not fully healed, and I still occasionally cast my gaze downward. I can say with full honesty, that today was a good day. I kept my head up, I smiled, and I was able to cast away some of the gloom that has been following me ever since the War ended. Sure, I may be alone at night, and the Hall of the Rathgan is quiet. But, when I step outside, I take a breath of the Ash filled air, and remember something.

I'm alive.

I sit on the bench in the Plaza and just watch people go to and fro. Wondering, and fantasizing about their daily tasks. Getting bundles of freshly baked bread, or going to the Souk to check on new wares. Maybe even getting some supplies to build. There have been a lot of builders and artisans walking around as of late. The Stonefolk outside the Hall have been speaking more frequently of visiting the inside of the Well. Perhaps the new district is being worked on.

---

In other good news, I was able to hang out with friends. It's been hard to find people who understand the depths of my pain, my loss, my sorrow. But Rynn and Jamileh get it. They've lost people too, they've wept, and they've seen the horrors of Bet Neppahi. They understand that I lost there too, all of the Rathgan of Tammuz were taken. 'In which lovers shed their tears.' How frighteningly apt.

Even Vellyn and Evarielle are witty and funny to be around at times.

Managed to find a Royal Favour flower that Ulfgrim would always give me too...

[Korinthus Dûngir's Painting Check Skills are Above Average.]



- Tea and Royal Favour flower still life.

I've requisitioned them for a dinner date, not that kind of date, but one where friends sit and chat. It's been ages since Jamileh's seen the Hall. Likely back in the days of the Duunthall, which should be interesting to hear about. I don't think Rynn's ever seen it either. I do worry, though, that conversations will drift towards that of the Rathgan. Even I know how quiet the Halls have gotten. Still, I must make preparations. We will drink tea, enjoy some Flamebringer meatloaf and salad. Separate, of course, and enjoy each other's company, make jokes, talk of history, and maybe our dreams.

Laughter will soon again fill the Halls of the Last Dwarves; the Rathgan.

For now, my own cup of soothing tea awaits me, resting beside this very journal as I pen thoughts to paper. Tonight, it is my guardian against the horrible nightmares that would await me otherwise. Until then, I keep living.

Wisdom, light my way.