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Messages - White_Ice

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1
Correspondence / Re: A Letter for Pavlina at the Belmore Estate
« on: March 22, 2022, 03:47:31 AM »
The mountain's shadow hides the world behind
Where a mind and soul exists to be kind
A soul that–


Dear Pavlina,

Being a spy is a lonely affair: a good spy should never be trusted; a great spy never trusts others; and the best spies tell so many lies they can't even trust themselves.

When you first told me why you feared your magic–your wizardry, I was surprised but your explanation made sense. I understood it. I understood that fear of reality being unraveled, falling apart, shattering round me. I understood the fear of not being able to trust the world around myself and thus not being able to trust myself.

In that place between everything important, that place between myself, my senses, and the world, you felt like a sister who I could trust, someone who could understand me when perhaps I did not understand myself. The affinity studies, the poetry; the time watching you craft wands: they were the calmest moments during the part of my life where I was drowning myself in lies. Seeing you in control and composed despite the challenges you faced helped me realize I could do the same.

By the time you read this, we will be beyond Baz'eel. I am able to move ahead because of you, but there are signs this may be a point of no return. Whatever happens, know this:

13

With Love,
Brie

P.S. I have struggled to decide if telling you what I am about to write next is a good idea, but, at the very least, I hope you take it as a sign of just how important you are to Sorcha and I. If we reach the King and he does grant us a wish, we will ask for your mind to be restored and healed, to be free of any and all ailments and madness.

2
Correspondence / A Letter for Rin and Tik
« on: March 22, 2022, 03:45:19 AM »
Dear Rin Much Loved By the Moon and Tiktika the Mighty,

I wanted to make sure I got a chance to say a proper goodbye. And to thank you for all of your help. Not just in getting past the rings, but for everything that comes with seeing each and every ring that we have crossed: the wonder, the knowledge, the growth.

Running inring was just meant to be an escape from the place and life that I had abandoned. But, somehow, through all of this I feel like I have found the world–the real world and its true nature. And, most importantly, I feel it is only the beginning. There are more rings ahead of me and, I am sure, more things I will learn.

Thank you. Whether it was speaking with me about Moon or Mushroom, such conversations has set me on a path I never anticipated but look forward to exploring. I hope you, too, will continue to grow wherever you may be.

With Love,
Brie the Moon Sent

3
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: March 15, 2022, 03:09:13 PM »
House Oldflowers.
   Lady Audrey Oldflowers.
      The Mongrelwoods.
         A cradle of stone and vines.
            The Lady.
               The Moon.
                  Its Long Eye.
                     All the Places Away from the Ward.
                        Looking Down from the Peak.
                           Sitting Beneath a Waterfall.
                              Potatoes.
                                 Bert.
                                    Gardens.
                                       Casper Quibs and the Dream of the City of Rings.
                                          The Real, Waking World.
                                             The Gardens Before the Dream.

4
Correspondence / Re: A Letter for Pavlina at the Belmore Estate
« on: March 11, 2022, 05:02:37 PM »
The View  from the Peak

The highest summit in the world
is a leviathan's sad grave.
The giant bones leads me to ask:
is any of this even real?

From the peak, I look down Kingsward
and see a desert bleached of life;
desolate, save for a gem in
the sands that reflect the moonlight.

I turn my eyes to the night sky
to see the moon among the stars.
These things may be unreachable
but I shall reach for the moonlight.

Dear Pavlina,

This world is– I cannot even– Guilt still–


-B

5
Screen Shots & Obituaries / Re: Casper Quibs - A Man and his Book
« on: March 06, 2022, 03:15:19 PM »
Oh no! Casper was a magically whimsical person and being around him was always a treat.

6
Correspondence / Re: A Letter for Pavlina at the Belmore Estate
« on: March 03, 2022, 04:35:48 AM »
Against the backdrop of a clear blue sky
stands a mountain of certain death and doom.
It reaches up beyond sight of the eye,
miles and miles high up does it loom.

Goblins, orcs, and other monstrosities
infests the caves of darkness and fire.
No matter how oft we fall to our knees,
we climb and fight through the endless mire

Challenged by a thoughtful and loving friend
to seek the sights and beauty of this world,
that we may remember should it all end
and everything becomes sadly unfurled.

So, we endure and continue to seek
our goal above: the view from the peak.

Dear Pavlina,

I would have liked to have said these words to you in person but Anders' whispers about me filled Sorcha (and, I must admit, me as well) with dread. We have retreated yet again to someplace safer. Distance does not always equal safety but it felt prudent to make use of it for the time being. Still, should you need us, simply write or whisper and we will come.

When you said you wanted to kill Anders, I thought about saying more to dissuade you. But I knew how much of a hypocrite that would make me. I, after all, reacted in a rather drastic and unexpected manner when Orza slaughtered the Oldflowers. Perhaps, in a way, I sought a vengeance of my own that was convoluted, roundabout, and long in the making.

So I did not directly object. I understood what you wanted. I could imagine the maelstrom within you. I have no right to tell you, whether real or imaginary, what you feel is there.

But I have not been able to stop thinking about trying to dissuade you.

There are more important things in life than vengeance. There can be greater purpose in existence. I do not know what they exactly are for you. But I have found it for myself and I can think of no logical reason why such cannot exist for you as well.

The nature of this reality is a mystery but there are still many other things you could dedicate yourself to: running the rings; seeking out knowledge held in places such as the library of Baz'eel; finding a way to hold fast against the Nothing. The possibilities are numerous. Dying for vengeance is not the only option. Nor is it the right one.

I know my words are not likely to change your mind. I could think of nothing that would have changed my mind back then when I joined Orza. But I would not be able forgive myself had I kept these thoughts to myself.

This letter should reach you the morning of the exhibition. I hope wherever you end up going, you are able to find the answers you seek. If not, I hope you at least find the answers you need.

-B

Out of sight, yet I
still feel the assurance of
you being nearby.

7
Suggestions / Give All PCs A One Use Regroup Item Per Reset
« on: March 02, 2022, 05:58:24 PM »
So that nearly all cases of people getting stuck in the environment can be rescued by their fellow PCs instead of needing a DM (and without being held back by scroll restrictions).

Or maybe this can be a player tool?

8
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: March 01, 2022, 04:48:01 PM »
"I have some familiar words for you Anders: I'd rather rub your face in shit."

How badly I wanted to throw Anders' own words back at him. It would have been delightfully entertaining. And cathartic. And honest.

But I knew no good could come from such and my whisper to Daphne was already more than enough to make Sorcha anxious a hundred times over, like a doe picking up the scent of surrounding wolves. I will admit there is still something within the Ward that draws me, pulls on me. But I know it is a death trap at this point. A trap I should not linger near for too long

That House Orza was supposedly surprised by my betrayal speaks to my skills. Or their incompetence. How many times did I exchange not-so-subtle whispers with the likes of Kinsley in front of the Velvete? How many times did I walk into the back rooms of Glitt Hall? How many times did Sorcha and I scurry away into our private room in Ms. Minchin's boarding house for a tryst? How many pages of the letters I exchanged with Sorcha were leaked through my own idiocy? How many times did someone mention the Oldflowers or Lady Audrey and I could not help my face from darkening or my voice from faltering?

More than once I had other Orzans question my loyalty, intent, and place within the House: I was too diplomatic; I talked too much; I was not blood thirsty enough; I was a meek coward.

Yet none of them actually followed up. None thought to track and trace the sweet talking, duplicitous, and shadow-stalking woman who wore their colours yet was not quite the right shade of orange. None bothered to check what I was really up to. There were times when I was away days at a time, running rings behind their backs and yet none asked me where I had been. Quite a few people thought I double-crossed the Oldflowers, but none thought to check if I was liable to cross anyone else.

My betrayal was precipitous only if you kept your eyes shut, your ears clogged, and your mouth silent and not asking the questions that would have revealed my growing discontent and disdain.

People knew about Sorcha and I. Either because Sorcha told them (bless her trusting heart) or because they discerned the truth through their own luck, intuition, and reasoning.

Manfred once told me he did not care if I was planning to betray him. Clearly he should have.

9
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: February 27, 2022, 11:11:25 PM »
It seems I have been given a dose of my own medicine. I was not surprised with how Luciana had reacted–insulted, furious, hostile–but I certainly have a better understanding of how she feels now.

No one likes being pulled into things they were not foretold about. It somehow felt even worse considering the number of people involved. All of them giving me a mere cursory glance, already accepting my presence, not at all bothered that I had nothing to say and likely not at all objecting if I did decide to raise my voice.

Having other people make decisions about your life is an unpleasant feeling but it happens more often than we think, does it not?

Being on the run has been an adjustment, but not because I need to be careful and distant from those who would do me harm, but because of the people who care about me and do not want to see me in any harm.

My life and work has always been about taking risks. But it is different when those risks affect others. Seemingly, I could live with living dangerously and throwing caution to the wind. But I can not live with Sorcha being hurt because of me being reckless or hasty.

It is a strange feeling, putting oneself in a prison for the sake of another. But that is just a gut reaction, is it not? An inaccurate one. It is less a prison and more a plate of armour or some protective magic or a good hiding spot.

It is planning ahead to fulfill a promise. Something to make her happy. Which is something else I want to see for myself.

10
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: February 24, 2022, 09:15:18 PM »
"If the choice is between eternal obliteration upon death or a million years fighting in some devil's pointless war, I know I would like some semblance of retirement. "
"Retirement? Amusing."

"Should you desire, I can always write a contract for you or invoke you into my own under a new clause."
"No thank you. I meant what I said: I am looking forward to retirement one day."

Who knew achieving retirement would be so exhausting? I suppose all the exhausting work is why one needs retirement in the first place.

It was foolish of me to think that House Orza was the only obstacle in my way--the ring trials themselves not being counted.

The Coat has become more trouble than its worth. Another seed--another plan--planted just in case but it has taken root and is growing unpredictably and for completely the wrong reasons. A tangle of vines that I cannot pull from the soil. What does it even want with me at this point? We barely interacted more than a few minutes. It is free, is it not? Why does it still cling to me? What more does it want from me? Did it even want anything from me to begin with? What did I give it? Did I give it anything at all?  We have no agreement--it does not need me, so is it just toying with me? Or is it desperate because I was one who gave it some mote of attention?

Unless I am extremely lucky, I doubt I will find an answer or solution here. Not on this side of the Smouldering Peaks. Raiding Guiseppe's private room is an option--but also probably suicide.

I hope this city of Baz'eel is all it lives up to be.

11
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: February 24, 2022, 07:24:52 PM »
A tree disintegrated by time, in time?

Rocks whittled away by time and wind, turned to sand?

Existence itself, being grounded down?

From the ashes a new world is born?

You are losing your own existence because of the dance with darkness you stumbled in?

Time crumbles rocks into ash?

Time crumbles the world into ash?

Our entire world is like a rock and it is grinding into ash?

The world is out of time?

The world is timeless?

The world is the same despite the passing of time?

With time comes age and with age comes death?

You want to be fully brought into the world or time or both?

You want a world of darkness?

Darkness--the Nothing--is taking over the World and you want to escape it?

The Nothing is as inevitable as time?

The world is Nothing?

Life turns to sand?

Darkness is eternal?

Time brings death?

In time the world will die and be born a new?

The world is always changing, brought on by time?

Dead elves?


12
Screen Shots & Obituaries / Re: The tragedy of Tris Sannarshall
« on: February 24, 2022, 02:56:27 PM »
I enjoy Tris just for her personality alone and I'm sorry Brie missed out on trying to save her from the Nothing and/or getting sucked into it because of her.

13
This letter is left untouched and undelivered. Brie, thankfully, avoids the confetti bomb.

14
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: February 23, 2022, 04:27:18 PM »
It was beautiful.

As they spoke, revealing what they knew, what they planned, it was like watching the sun crest over the horizon to slowly light up every blade of grass, every petal of the flowers in a garden. One by one. The light making bold colours shine brilliantly.

A seed I had planted some time ago had sprouted. A nut I had squirreled out of desperation had taken root.

I could have done nothing more--I could have stayed absolutely silent--and what I wanted would have been accomplished regardless.

It was mesmerizing to realize that even my own plans and actions were actively throttling what I had already, accidentally set in motion. Tendrils upon tendrils grasping, trying to choke one another. The chaos wrought ensured, one way or another, that what I wanted would come to fruition.

If I were a lesser person--if I had not become who I am now over the past few months--I would have been proud of the mess I made.

Beautiful, lively,
each flower coloured by blood.
A garden of ash.

15
Journals and Musings / Re: [Scattered Notes of Brie Cesmé]
« on: February 22, 2022, 08:09:08 PM »
A copy of a letter and any forthcoming responses is slipped between the pages of the notebook.

Dear Lady Luciana Orza,

Is this a House? Or is this a Circus?

The House has the Mongrelwoods to clear. The House has a harbour to rebuild in 97. The House has a fortress in 92 to build. The House has a fleet to build. The House has prophecies to fulfill. The House has a Vampire to vanquish. The House has a Ward to defend from the Nothing.

Is this a House? Or is this a Circus?

I said a lot of words to Anders from the bottom of his steps but the words and questions in my mind were short and simple:

Is this a House? Or is this a Circus?

Anders' answer was even simpler: "I would rather rub Bernard's face in shit."

All the work that needs to be done lay in front of us but Anders and Manfred would rather run a circus and put on a show.

Manfred often spoke of respect. Demanded it in the most threatening of ways. But he was oblivious to how little he earned. Kinsley had fair, serious grievances but the response she and House Glitt got were neither fair nor serious. And, in turn, Manfred was so, so surprised to be forced to strip naked so the flat side of a sword could slap against his bare skin. I have never seen a man more insulted, more hurt, than when he was treated like the jape he was.

Manfred was oblivious to his own hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness. I hope you learn from what such things cost him. You do have good sense buried deep within you, I have seen it when you spoke in support of me before Anders. But I have also seen the cruelty and pettiness in you and I hope such is just the lingering remnants of youth. I did not know that you ordered the Oldflowers killed; I had honestly thought it was Manfred's idea. Yet, knowing the truth, I still hope you grow into the kind of person the Ward needs.

I had hoped to witness such for myself. You were the plan, from the very start, to continue the reshaping of Orza –from gutter knife to mercenary to House to something even greater. Such is why I came to you first before I came to the House.

Obviously, I grew tired of the Circus and I gave up. But, maybe–whether you never see me again or whether you manage to track me down and take my head–you will still fulfill the plan somehow.

Is this a House? Or is this a Circus?

Anders answered with the latter. I begrudgingly agreed. Prove Anders wrong. Prove me wrong.

I-Bowed-Thrice

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