The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 1st, IY 7788

I just realized that I haven't noted down the year at all for past entries! It must've been because numbers are really, really boring. At least this year has two sevens in it. I like seven... I hate every other number, though. I might as well start doing that... so that things don't get too confusing... which they've already been for a few years... years that I don't know because I didn't write them down!

Anyhow... Vajay Mojo... or however its name goes... was one of the strangest places I've ever been to! A frozen windmill, that some wizard probably used to live in! Because of that, it was really weird! The wizard's former pets, which consisted of exploding penguins, and constructs that could split your head open with a single bolt from their massive crossbows, were the only dwellers there now... There were a bunch of puzzles, riddles and conundrums! I hate conundrums, because despite the name, they don't have anything to do with drums, unless it's a drum-based conundrum.

There was a lot of treasure! I think the grandest treasure of them all was the gift of teamwork, which was required to navigate the wicked wizard's appalling abode! I found powerful magickal robes, which I couldn't use, because I don't know magick... And I found a frozen hin longblade. It's really cold! If you stab someone with it, their blood will probably freeze! Probably! I don't like stabbing people, because it's really messy, and violence is wrong! So I do it only when it's absolutely necessary... like out of personal spite... granted it's a very specific form of personal spite, the kind I get when somebody stabs me first!

Narwen found a shovel. It was made out of snow. A snow shovel for shoveling snow made out of snow seems kind of redundant. Also, unless she moves to Frostport or Kulkund, she won't have much use for it!

After that, I spent the rest of the night with Tonka, Inky and Pirouz! Since he's from Baz'eel, he doesn't have any family here, so might as well have some company for the eve... I think this is the first time he met Inky...? He was surprisingly calm about it. Maybe animated puddles of ink are really common in Baz'eel. And admittedly Inky's regular tiny form is kind of cute in a weird way, so maybe there isn't much to be scared about. I mean, there isn't, because Inky is so tiny when they aren't defending me from horrible monsters!

MY FORM IS PERFECTLY CALIBRATED FOR THE ABSORPTION OF RECORDED KNOWLEDGE. IT IS NOT "TINY". YOU ARE TINY. YOU ARE OF RELATIVELY DIMUNITIVE SIZE AMIDST A SOCIETY FREQUENTED PREDOMINANTLY BY HUMANS. THEREFORE YOU ARE TINY. TINY PERSONAGE. HIN OF TINY SIZE. YOU ARE THE TINY ONE. TINY BASHIR OF KHATARA. TINY.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 2nd, IY 7788

About a fourth of the book is done, now... I wonder if I should try my hand at something else than detective stories...? Then I'd have more ideas for more detective stories, because I'd... know what it is like to write something else...? I don't know, I'm sure it'd help somehow. Anyhow, there certainly are a few literary trends that I've noticed!

Biographies: You just have to write about someone's life! It'd be really easy, as long as you actually know something about the person in question, but you have to get permission... I mean, some people don't do that, I'm pretty sure whomever wrote Banafsi Pete's didn't get any sort of permission! But since I'm such an innocent soul, I could never do that!

Even if I had permission, I don't really know anyone who's interesting enough to warrant a whole book... A chapter or two, maybe... Even if I wrote a book about Hu, it'd mostly be him wrestling different monstrosities, culminating in him wrestling the malevolent kraken! I mean, that would sell, I guess...? I could call it "Hu's Hu: Wrestling With the Truth" or something like that.

Self-help books: Depressed saps like Atticus and Caster read nonsense like this! It's all a bunch of bullshit, just vague tips that will supposedly turn your life around, written by some pretentious dullard who's never actually had a hard day in their entire life! I could never write something like this! If I wrote a book about helping people, it would actually help them, because I'd give them tips on... floristry. Stuff that's actually useful!

Spooky stories: Books that are purposefully scary! I don't get it! I don't want to read about spooky ghosts, I want to read about hot love! I don't want to have nightmares after I read whatever spooky spookiness it is that I wrote, either! Every time Martin gets stuck under some linens, I think that it's a spooky ghost, but instead, it's regular old Martin instead! It's so embarassing! For the both of us! I also don't know anything about ghosts, vampires or vampire ghosts, other than the fact that they're really scary and spooky!

Political mysteries: It's like a detective story, but there's more politics, and the protagonist keeps seeing stuff that might or might not be happening! It's all really confusing. These all take place in Baz'eel or Il Modo. I've been to Il Modo, so I guess I could write one, about... an eel oil merchant... who uncovers a thrilling conspiracy about... eel oil... Nope, I can't do this, Il Modo just makes me think about eels and oil.

Maybe I should just stick to the detective stuff...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 3rd, IY 7788

I really don't know what I'm doing with Zain... I just kind of say "hi" to him and pass some tinkering goods to him, if I have those. Beyond that, not much else. I'm not sure if he's upset about the cat... I think he'd just say if he was, because that's how he is. I kind of feel like asking if we're still friends, but if we still are, then he'd be stuck wondering why I'm asking, and it'd get even more awkward than it is right now. That letter was one of the stupidest ideas I've ever had, and I've had a lot of stupid ideas...

I guess I could teach Tonka to deliver tinkering schematics to him, but... No, that's another terrible idea.

Anyhow, preparing for the next election has me quite busy with a lot of paperwork. Boring paperwork! There's no juicy gossip to be found at all! Even complaint letters are more interesting, because a lot of them are sent by crazy people, and it's fun trying to figure out what their actual problem is! Well, it's as fun as this job gets, anyhow... There is a reason for why being assigned to complaints is considered a punishment around here...

It's still amusing to find out that the guy who keeps complaining about the Pyramid's stairs isn't some poor old fogey with a cane, instead it's just some fat rich boy who has miniature heart attacks with every step that he climbs... And then there's that "lady" who keeps complaining about the various parties and get-togethers of the Well, because the noise they cause "is distressing to cats and dogs"... She doesn't even have any pets! She's just a fun-hating misanthrope! What a bitch!

What I can discern from these papers is that the loudest of the Voiced have very questionable sources of income, and barely any of them do any actual work beyond killing goblins and melek and what have you... There's politics involved with everything, yet you'd still think that at least some of them would have some form of day job to care about the things they yell about to such an extent. From the list in front of me, the only person I can immediately think of with a regular job is Moni, and I'm not sure if she's even working right now to pay for tuition or not...? I have no clue how tuition works, I just know that school is really expensive. 

As for my own studies... Warp is long, weft is late. I don't know if that mnemonic actually helps with anything, but at least I know some of the terms...? The annoying thing with any craft is that someone will ask how you do it, and it's kind of just something you do reflexively, so it's not really something you answer with words. I guess I can say something vague about warp and weft and sound like I know what I'm talking about.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 4th, IY 7788

Zain talked to me! He didn't seem angry at all... In fact, he did some card tricks... As in, actual card magic, and none of that dumb nonsense where you pull cards from your sleeve or from your ear or from your nose or whatever. I hate that stuff! Actual card magic, on the other hand, I love, because there's a lot of flashy lights and colors and it empowers you with the strange magicks of the incarna, probably because it's the means by which all is revealed, or something like that... Card magick is so weird. But pretty!

Also, he told me that if I sleep like a cat, I can probably live at least three lives. That's a... third of what cats live, but it's still pretty good. I don't know what I'm going to do with my second life, but I have a lot of plans for my third. I think I'm going to try my hand at wedding planning!

I still have this giant crystal of ice from the frozen windmill... It's too heavy to lug around! I'm going to gift it to some fish merchant, so that their catch can stay nice and fresh. There aren't too many fish merchants around here, for obvious reasons, so I'll probably be looking for a while... Unless I just toss it to Hazish so that he can keep his roe cool. I don't really like roe! It's too salty!

Also, apparently Alejandro is a cartwright...? Richo was going to ask him about carts, and he must have a reason for that...? Alejandro sure is a man of many talents! He must not advertise this side of himself very much, because I've never seen him do anything cart-related, other than caravan work... That's so weird. Carts are really useful, so it's not something that he should be ashamed of!

Also, somebody was celebrating the new year really late. They shot a flare, or a firework, whatever, over the Gate of Coin. They must've been really drunk, or they're really bad at scheduling. That must be terrible for them! They must miss out on so many parties! Where are people finding these flares, anyhow...? I need to know so that I can keep Martin the hell away from that place!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 5th, IY 7788

Marcellus is really focused on his museum, now! He asked me if I could help with the interior design... I don't know much about that when it comes to museums! I did date a docent for a few weeks... well, I guess two weeks isn't a few, I think you need at least three for something to be a "few"... Really nice guy, but there was kind of a conflict of topics when it came to conversation! I don't want to talk about art or history all of the time!

Anyhow... Museums are weird when it comes to interior design... I think they have to be classy, yet subdued enough, for the most part... The exhibits, on the other hand, have to be as attention seeking as possible! This is because you can't have people just staring at your tasteful marble flooring for the entire tour... Well, I guess you could, if it was a marble flooring exhibit, but if it isn't, you're kind of screwing up if the curios on display are so boring that they lose to the floor!

Some stuck up Janissary is trying to force people into wearing their Voiced togas! It's a fashion disaster if he manages to do so... My dishrag has more dignity than those horrid tatters! I think the total cost of one toga might be less than one dinari, somehow. One dirham...? I don't know. What I do know is that the designer of these togas does not possess even a modicum of taste! In fact, they might be a goat that lost their sense of fashion in a tragic goat herding accident... I base this on the fact that goats don't know anything about fashion to begin with, so a goat involved in such a horribly tragic accident would have a negative amount of fashion sense! It makes perfect sense!

Now, if I was responsible for the togas, they would be made from the finest shahtoosh... If cost is an issue, I can work with vicuna wool as well! Maybe groknak hair...? The design would not only accentuate each and every curve of the wearer, but also consider their facial contourage... Some people really don't know how to dress for their face! Every single seam has to consider both forms of curvage! As for the colors... People could choose their favorite! From a limited set of tasteful pastels! I would favor the three p's: peach, periwinkle and pink!

This is so grand! Time to get the sketchbook out! Inky keeps hogging it for themselves, because of my kitty sketches!

NO SUCH EVENT HAS BEEN RECORDED. I AM INCAPABLE OF "HOGGING". IF I WERE TO ENGAGE IN THE PERUSAL OF YOUR HIGHLY UNINTERESTING BOOK OF SKETCHES, IT CERTAINLY WOULD NOT BE DUE TO ANY FELINE FIGURES, AS I HAVE LEARNED THE TRUTH OF THEIR BEING THROUGH THE ACTIONS OF OUR NEWEST ROOMMATE, WHO IS FAR WORSE THAN YOU AT SAID POSITION.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 6th, IY 7788

This Jerrod guy has weird ideas! He thinks people can't go wherever they want... They totally can, even to dangerous places where they shouldn't! Unless he's talking about like... somebody else's home... or their bedroom... which you really shouldn't be doing without permission for obvious reasons! Also... his surname is really, really disgusting. His parents must've been really weird... Weird perverts...

Richo has a new friend... A tiny rock person! Well, it kind of looks as if it's made out of jade or emerald... He's tinier than me. He talks about rye a lot. I think he might be from the colder regions, because people from colder regions love rye. I don't mind it, but it's pretty salty... Some roe on rye would probably be really tasty, but an absolute explosion of salt! Anyhow, this tiny rock person can also write, apparently. Which is useful, since Richo can't! I guess he can be Richo's secretary...? Temporary secretary, because he doesn't stay around for long!

There was a Kulameet... Basically the clergy offered curious prayers to the altar in one of those caves blessed by Kula, and then a bunch of vines appeared, and there were these flashing lights that gave me a headache, and then a satyr came in, well, it looked like a satyr, anyhow, and the satyr prayed at the altar too! I met a satyr on the road, once, and he challenged me to a fiddling duel! I can't fiddle. Not all hin can do that, it's just a stereotype... So I said no! He looked really disappointed. Another time, I met some satyrs in a sylvan glade, and we got really drunk. They stole my cigarette money! What jerks!

I probably shouldn't go to these religious meetings! I always embarass myself! I don't know how to pray or venerate or supplicate myself... I prefer following Warad in my own private way, anyhow! I mostly went because I was curious and Richo was there, too, so... Next time I'll sate my curiosity differently!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 7th, IY 7788

As if it wasn't enough that Domhnall named the elite drugbusting squad after the sound I make when I shove an entire maamoul in my mouth – which I am going to do right after writing this – I also found that Hambone's been making more than double my wage from his vizier position! Apparently that can be afforded, but a raise of one dinari is too much! Thankfully I've been making money on the side by helping these lobbyists... Which pays more than my regular wage. Go figure!

There's also the dividends I get from books sold, which isn't much, but at least it's something...

Because of the potential public indecency law, I might be designing the official refugee attire...? My tailoring studies are going pretty slowly, though. Learning new skills is so hard, even if it's a fun one like tailoring! I'm probably not getting a bonus for this... Someone else will probably take the job before me, anyhow. And for some mysterious reason, they will get paid whereas I wouldn't have gotten anything in this hypothetical situation!

The new book on the other hand is going so well! I'm kind of worried, though... Lots of people complained that I spent too much time on describing hot guys in the last one! I don't know why you would complain about that, unless you're not into hot guys, which I mean, is strange, because why are you reading my books then...? Also, get better taste! But I took that criticism to heart, and focus less on that now... I mean, there's still hot guys, I just don't spend multiple paragraphs describing their hot bods now! Now I might get some people complaining that there's not enough of it! Can't please everyone, I guess...

I'm still going to dedicate an entire chapter to an elaborate love scene, though... It'll be hot and steamy!

Damn, these maamoul are so delicious!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 8th, IY 7788

They turned down the eighth chapter! The one with the hot and steamy love scene! They told me... "This chapter is far too licentious even for your demographic"... Something like that, anyhow! I AM MY DEMOGRAPHIC AND I WANT TO READ AND WRITE ABOUT HOT GUYS EMBRACING EACH OTHER BETWIXT SWEAT-LADEN SHEETS!

I chose this publisher because of their slogan, but turns out it was complete and utter bullshit! Absolute prudes! THAT IS WHAT MEN DO WHEN THEIR LOVE CAN NO LONGER BE CONTAINED! IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE REALITY THEN DON'T ENGAGE WITH IT!

They want me to do rewrites... I'm not going to do rewrites! I'm too busy for that, and it'd be meddling with my artistic intent! So... I'm just going to have Inky do that, instead. They're my editor, already, anyhow. Inky doesn't understand love, or comedy, or anything about what they call the "personly" experience, but... I really need this eighth chapter! Sometimes you have to settle for compromises, but you have to settle them your way!

Even with trash, people get too picky... If I had gotten into another art, like painting, it'd probably be even worse, because people pay far more attention to pictures than the written word! So, if I had opted to paint a few strapping lads... in the sheer state of their natural beauty... which is to say, butt-naked... then I'd probably have gotten a torch-wielding mob behind my door!

Filth is my art! There's just way too many people who stick their heads inside a trash barrel to take a look, then immediately start complaining that there's trash inside! What did you expect?! Prudes are so weird! Their lives must be so boring, too. I could never live like that!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 9th, IY 7788

It's finished! They're releasing it as a serial first, then as a complete book. That's smart business! You get to sell the same work twice! Or... eleven times, since it's ten chapters released one at a time, first...? That must be a lot of money. I, however, am not in it for the money... Primarily. Just secondarily. Because it pays the bills. And I have a lot of bills!

Inky's first draft for the eighth chapter was absolutely awful! They kept mentioning the measurements for everything! Nobody cares about measurements! People don't want to read about that! They want to read about hot love! Which... Inky didn't quite manage to depict, but... They tried their best.

YOU DO NOT HOLD THE RIGHT TO CRITICIZE TRUE GENIUS WHEN I WAS FORCED TO EXPUNGE 47 EXCESS MENTIONS OF PERSONLY MUSCULATURE, AND 62 REFERENCES TO THE PHALLUS.

Oh, don't exaggerate! And people do want to read about those. They don't want to know how tall a house is, or the exact measurements of someone's height... They want to imagine them! Hardacre is just as tall as he is in someone's imagination, based on their personal proclivities... As long as he is over 185 centimeters, because that is how tall hot half-elves are.

WHEN IT COMES TO THE VAGARIES OF PERSONAGES, THERE IS NO RATIONALITY, NOR LOGIC, TO BE FOUND.

Yeah! Isn't it grand? Anyhow, I hope people like the book. And I hope some creepy weirdo doesn't send an assassin after me again, because they didn't understand the artistic intent which should be obvious because I'm not a very subtle person and my work isn't meant for some pretentious snob who eats marmelade for breakfast because that's what pretentious snobs do they just smear it on a knife and eat it off the knife like that without anything else which is really weird I mean you could at least spread it on bread even though muhammara is much better for that though lately I've been having it with some kebab you just cover that kebab in that tasty muhammara and then you can cut it into pieces and drop it in your salad and you have the tastiest salad ever created.

I think that's what pretentious snobs do, anyhow, I don't really associate with them!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 10th, IY 7788

Richo told me that ants don't have souls because they come from eggs... That doesn't make any sense, because bees come from eggs, too, and they totally do have souls! After all, Warad loves bees! And so do I! Occasionally, I feel like taking my flowers outside, so that the bees of the Well can have a nice little treat! I'm sure that the pollen from my flowers is particularly tasty, because I take such good care of them! Tonka loves my flowers, she often takes a nap next to them, probably due to the pleasant aroma...

Speaking of aromas, Richo also gave me plenty of perfume. Either these perfumes are magickal, or they're blessed by Kula, because they sure have plenty of strange effects beyond the pleasant fragrance...? One of them closes wounds... The fragrance is so powerful that even those close by are cured of their ailments! How wondrous!

The second one is just as miraculous... I dabbed some on my wrist, and it turned partially invisible! Which... isn't that useful for perfume...? Perfumes are supposed to be kind of a showy thing. People are supposed to go... "Oh, that fanciful lad sure smells really nice"... They can't do that if said fanciful lad is invisible! Instead, they'll just go... "Oh, that sure is a pleasant aroma, floating in the air, I wonder where it came from since I can't see shit!"

Which, you know, isn't what I want people saying? I guess I could use that perfume to hide from people with suggestions for... oh, right. I made an oath that I would never write about that subject, ever again! So I won't!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 11th, IY 7788

Narwen has been studying stars and constellations and such lately... She's always telling me about them! Well, mostly their names. Most of which are really weird! There's one called Marmelade. I guess some pretentious snob was really hungry when they named it...? Wait, it wasn't called Marmelade... It was Mademade. Which... I don't really know what that is named after...? Mademade. I think it's meaningless gibberish...? Mademade the Marmot...? I think that's a children's story...

Some priest of Warad held a sermon, about a rich mogul who was holding up caravans due to his immense greed...? Something like that. I don't really remember. Moral of the sermon... Don't get greedy and stop caravans from moving...? I always get distracted during sermons. So does Tonka. She almost completely refused getting off the Speaker's Mound! I don't know why, since she can't speak, and if she could, she'd probably have nothing to say about belief!

I've been having some great luck at Royal Dragon lately! It's all thanks to my secret strategy... Which consists of being a hin, because we're so lucky, and stopping at 16 or 17 at the earliest! It all depends on the hunch I get... Sometimes 16 feels like the right choice! Sometimes it doesn't! There's a lot of emotion involved with gambling, so people who aren't in touch with their emotions are really bad at it! They shouldn't even try it! They should pick another hobby, instead, like... competitive complaining? That's what a lot of people in the Well do... Because they are so empty inside!

All my winnings from gambling go to charity! It's all about sharing the smile! First, I smile, because I win a lot of money. Then, whomever I'm giving the money to smiles, because they're getting a lot of money. It's so grand!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 12th, IY 7788

The sky turned red! The ash shifted crimson! There was a rubified storm, which shook the Shade so hard I thought that it was going to explode! I think there was blood, but I didn't take a closer look, because I was so scared... I locked myself in my room! Tonka was scared too, she was hiding under the bed, but I was able to calm her down... Which calmed me down, too... Well, momentarily, because when somebody knocked at my door, I was so startled that I jumped! It was Pirouz! He was worried about me, and wanted to make sure I was all right... He stayed with us until the storm subsided! He's such a sweetheart!

Before that, the day was otherwise kind of silly, as usual... I'd rather write about that than a spooky storm! So I will!

Zain gave me some cigarettes and an ice cube! What wondrous gifts! They aren't really directly connected, I suppose...? I mean, I do like drinking wine while I smoke, and a frosted wine is simply more refreshing... Some say that doing so dilutes the taste, but I don't really notice. Some people get awfully snobbish about wine. It's just a tasty drink, to be enjoyed during hot days! And because every day here is hot, every day is wine day!

Also, the ice cube is magickal, because it doesn't melt! So I can just keep reusing it...? I guess I'll have to wash it... Which'll cause it to get bigger over time...? I don't know.

Some mages might deny this, but... Brandon's Bum Burner is a real spell! I swear that it is! Some magickians are just really boring, and call it Scorching Ray, instead. I don't know who Brandon is, but it's a fine name for an arsonist who knows magick...? I think so, anyhow. I was thinking of using scrolls of Firebrand for lighting cigarettes, but in the end, that's kind of risky, so I'll just give them to Miranda, instead. Who'll probably feed it to Cawford, who'll get fiery indigestion! I don't know if birds fart, actually. I guess they just have to...?

Some guy, who was very handsome by the way, even though he obviously isn't taking proper care of his face, which he should be doing, because then he'd be much cuter... Anyhow, he walked up to me and whispered that "we would have beautiful children together"! That isn't how it works! If it was, I'd have like... a badjillion gadjillion illegitimate children! I don't even want one! Taking care of Tonka is plenty enough to calm the faint call of motherhood that I have!

I don't know why I wrote motherhood...? A cat can absolutely have two dads... I mean, I'm very feminine, but I'd still be a dad... This is horribly embarassing! I'm going out dancing!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 13th, IY 7788

Miranda has a lot of strange, magical friends! One of them is a dog with a really bad eye infection and really stinky breath. It's so stinky, that when he breathes, stuff around him starts melting... It's really disgusting! She also has an animated chair, which would be useful, if it would stay still... I guess it wouldn't be animated if it did...? Anyhow, I sat on it, but fell on my butt after it sprung forward to attack Gemspell! Oh, right. The reason for all these summons was that the local magickians were practising their magicks at the Krak's sparring ring!

My favorite of Miranda's magical friends is Dull Alan, the dullahan! It doesn't talk much... Which is either due to headlessness or shyness! This gives it an air of mystery, though it's still obvious that Dull Alan is one mean customer... Which, I guess, is a given, considering it's an animated suit of armor with no head and a giant, thunderous sword!

Caster left some unwanted scrolls lying around in the Krak... I read from one, and it gave me supernatural vision... I could see ultracolor! Which is color, but ultra. When it comes to ultracolor, most of the Well is ultrabeige! Including Caster. I was so excited to explore the world of ultracolor, that I forgot to take a look inside my wardrobe, to see what my tasteful haberdashery looked... I missed my chance to see ultrapastels! After all, fashion is for everyone, so my stylish designs should take people with ultravision into account, too, and I can't do that if I don't know what all of the ultracolors look like...

Seems like yesterday was a really magical day! I wish I knew magic. Or magick. Or had strange psionic powers... without the brainworms. Then again, people who know magic/k seem to go crazy when they get older, so maybe it's better that I'm utterly mundane, besides my wondrous beauty!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 14th, IY 7788

Nasreen hosted the Ephian Games! They were very exciting... Well, for the most part. The second fight was far too long! I think it was about fifteen minutes or more of Atticus and Marcellus chasing after Meadow! They drank so many brews, and they summoned so many entities... The matches really need time limits, and Nasren is going to have them in the future, so that's good! She could also hire an ogre to bonk the competitors on the head if they refuse to stop fighting!

If I was hosting these games, I'd definitely have a few additional rules... First of all, that stupid spell that creates a cloud of darkness...? Banned! Completely banned! There's spectators, and those spectators want to actually see what's happening! Also... I'd probably ban invisibility too, or supply every viewer with some sort of goggles that allow you to see invisible people. Those'd probably be really expensive, so... Probably just ban it. I really don't want to have too many rules, but the audience absolutely should be able to see everything that's going on!

Anyhow... The names for the teams were so cute! Though I like all three of the animals, I think the jerboa is by far the cutest! They don't make for good pets though... I remember the markets in Calimport occasionally having some for sale, but they really are meant to be out in the wild... They kick when they get scared, and they get scared a lot, because they don't really like people! People who take jerboas as pets deserve every kick that they get!

I do want more pets, though... They'd have to be compatible with Tonka, however. Which is... most creatures, because she's just sort of mellow, I suppose. She just ignores every rat in the street that we pass... and there's a lot of them, so... Thankfully the Krak hasn't had a rat problem in a while! She'd be no help against them!

However, I have such an immense heart, and I'm obviously limited on time, so I don't think that I could manage to show every pet just how much I love them if I'd have a lot of them... So, maybe just one or two more? I think that'd be fine!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Nisah 15th, IY 7788

Narwen gave a gift to Tonka... A rat doll! She loves it! She now carries it with her everywhere she goes... Which is fine, but I'm afraid that she'll forget it somewhere and then she'll get really sad and then I have to get her another rat doll but it won't help because she wants her rat doll and then I won't know what to do because cats are even moodier than I am and... It's a great gift, don't get me wrong, it's just that Tonka is still really young, so she's even more impulsive than the average cat!

Speaking of rats... Richo has another strange friend... The rat in a hat! They're a wizardly rat. Tonka likes them... I think Tonka just likes rats in general. She grew around them, so... I guess she just doesn't like hassling or eating her neighbors...? Former neighbors. I don't think we have rats for neighbors. Anymore.

Richo won his Voice in the raffle! I'm so happy for him! Now he can own property... which he won't do, since he follows a vow of poverty! He can also vote... which he might do if he can manage to do so while sidestepping! He can wear a toga... which isn't really a benefit, unless you get a tasteful toga, which is expensive, so he won't do so, because, again, vow of poverty. I guess someone could gift him one? Maybe I can weave one for him once I finish my tailoring studies... Time to get the sketchbook out, again!

Oh, and if he commits treason, he can get fed to the lions, instead of being hanged or drowned! Which won't happen either, because Richo is incapable of crime!

What else... Oh! He can get yelled at by Domhnall and Ibn Ghalish for being Voiced! Despite those two also being Voiced! And despite him getting his Voice through a raffle! I guess they can find some angle where it was "foreign capital" or whatever that enabled Richo to be Voiced... Foreign fortune...? I don't know, I don't really get it. I tried reading some Asterabadi, but I couldn't make it past the foreword.

I'm kidding, of course! In actuality, I couldn't make it past the first page!

Instead of attending the Purple League meeting, or meeting with Narwen to talk about the sixty thousand dinar raised for the new district, Marcellus went on a pirate adventure with Hazezon! WHY?! That's so weird, and dangerous, and I don't know why he did that! I mean, a pirate adventure is far more exciting than any Purple meeting, sure, but he could at least have met with Narwen properly... In fact, he invited Narwen to the Purple meeting, but then they locked the door and left her in the lobby!

I really don't get people here! Everyone's so weird! Why would you invite somebody to come along, then lock the door on them?! If I get fired, I'm going to start teaching proper etiquette at the Sandstone!