Maribeh 7th, IY 7788
It pains me to doubt Hypatia.
This is what the Witch of Utterdark meant, however, when she said that a Witch who gets too attached to a single life, a single piece, will die.
I'm well aware that such attachments have led to my countless deaths in previous cycles.
But I'm not ready to give up on my attachments yet. I like Hypatia. I like Mae. I like Naelin. I like Aubrey. And many more besides.
In a way, it's not about her... it's about myself. I feel as if I have reached the point where if I believe the theory that Hypatia is entirely false, if I believe that she holds no love for me or even for Mae, then I will have given up a significant part of me.
Even if I win the game after having given up so much, was it even "me" who won the game? Or was it someone entirely different? Was the game won by a hollow existence that wears my face and speaks with my voice, one who has given up everything for a victory she can't even enjoy?
I will believe that Hypatia is still Hypatia, until too much evidence has been accumulated to argue otherwise to myself, and I am cornered with the realization that she is no longer Hypatia.
But only then.
It pains me to doubt Hypatia.
This is what the Witch of Utterdark meant, however, when she said that a Witch who gets too attached to a single life, a single piece, will die.
I'm well aware that such attachments have led to my countless deaths in previous cycles.
But I'm not ready to give up on my attachments yet. I like Hypatia. I like Mae. I like Naelin. I like Aubrey. And many more besides.
In a way, it's not about her... it's about myself. I feel as if I have reached the point where if I believe the theory that Hypatia is entirely false, if I believe that she holds no love for me or even for Mae, then I will have given up a significant part of me.
Even if I win the game after having given up so much, was it even "me" who won the game? Or was it someone entirely different? Was the game won by a hollow existence that wears my face and speaks with my voice, one who has given up everything for a victory she can't even enjoy?
I will believe that Hypatia is still Hypatia, until too much evidence has been accumulated to argue otherwise to myself, and I am cornered with the realization that she is no longer Hypatia.
But only then.