The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 4th

Mother's Rest... A beautiful oasis, with plenty to see. Yet I was simply distracted by the statue there, in the end... I never knew my mother. I don't know her face. I don't know her voice. I don't know if she wanted me, or not... I don't know if she gave me away, or if I was taken from her. It hurts not knowing, but perhaps the truth would hurt even more... When people speak of their mothers, I try to change the topic as soon as possible.

As for the woman who "raised" me... I still see Saida, sometimes. Not literally, of course... But sometimes, when I am dancing... I am reminded of her. Her malnourished frame, dancing amongst cadavers and viscera... Blood shrouding her maddened glee, her pipeweed-stained teeth stuck in a morbid grin... I still hate her. But it is an empty sort of hatred. Whatever flame it had to it was extinguished ages ago. It is always there, so instinctual that it comes as natural as breathing... Only noticeable when I am reminded of it. And when I am? It feels hollow.

Yet I won't let such memories ruin one of the purest joys that I know. The world around me may as well crumble, but I shall continue dancing until the very end. An absurd act of defiance, perhaps, but an act nevertheless...

I wrote that before I got assaulted by Mr. Mouse. I still believe in what I wrote, even if my pride is a little wounded... Running for dear life is something that I've been doing more often lately, but I certainly wasn't expecting to do so at the Pyramid. So much panic, so little time, so many stabs through skin by blades that seared my very blood... I hated it, and I hate the cheap fucking doors that we have there. They shut in your face when you need them open, since we're too stingy to buy stoppers... And when you need to close them? They won't budge.

Why'd he attack me? Well, there's four possibilites, two of which are interlinked. Maybe three. Option #1: He got mad when I said that barely anyone remembers him. The truth might hurt, but it's all there is in the end. Option #2: He wanted more attention. He loves it. He craves it. My remark might've stirred a thirst. Option #3: Someone paid him to do it. I have an inkling about who it could be, if it did happen. The Banda did seem genuinely disappointed in him, which means that if there was a contract, it wasn't approved by them. Option #4: He genuinely did want to mug me. Which makes him the stupidest thief that I've ever seen. Why'd he try to do that right next to a Janissary, on one of the more secure floors of the Pyramid? It's gutsy, sure, but not in a way that impresses people. Especially since he failed to actually steal anything.

Look at me. I'm a regular Jo Hardacre. Except that I get even less respect, and my life is worth about 2000 dinari. I don't know how much money Hardacre's made, actually. I really fucked up with that contract... Maybe the dividends will start rolling in soon, and it'll be like 5000 a month. But then I'd have even more potential assholes trying to potentially mug me. What's a suitable amount of money to have where you aren't destitute, but you don't garner any unwanted attention, either? Because I want that.

Oh, and I did go dancing. Like I do every night. Every single one. That fascinated gaze, all focused on me? From whomever I'm dancing with, and from the crowd? That is what keeps me going. Maybe it is meaningless to most... But to me, it is everything.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 5th

I got a letter from Zain! I stopped everything else I was doing, and wrote a letter in return immediately. After that, I just laid on the couch and kept reading his letter over and over again! Of course, I could've just walked over to the Tower to see him, but I really like writing letters. There's something really sentimental about it!  I wish I got more letters. Well,  I do get a lot already, so I guess I mean more letters that I want to receive. I mostly get awful poems from past wooers... Or solicitations for money... Or complaints about my work from people who have nothing better to do...

Everyone keeps talking about money to me, now. It's really fucking annoying. Especially when I've been experimenting with mixing some powdered mica in my kohl... And nobody notices! Like, I have twinkly makeup on, and instead, these fucking creeps somehow know how much dinari I have in my coinpurse, and talk about that, instead. I'm starting to hate money. I have a big investment in mind, though, so maybe that'll help dissuade them from bothering me.

Risked a jaunt to Nusrum, even though it's really dangerous there now... But I didn't want Anais and Meadow getting in any trouble! The excavation seemed like business as usual, until a bunch of undead kept appearing and appearing... One after another... So many ghuuls! And strange dark magics... Maya saw a snake, supposedly? I didn't see one... Well, I was too busy running around and slinging bullets to notice, maybe. Maybe the snake was just cooling off in the ruins, and those nasty undead woke it up.

Finding a cat seems really difficult... Lynneth had a black cat, but it just wandered inside the College one day, supposedly. That doesn't help me much. I can't just wish for another cat to do that into my room or something. Meadow showed me a few cats, but they were way too big, and Zain specifically wants a black cat, so that he can complete the motif of a classical magician. There must be a pet shop somewhere in the Souk... I'll keep looking and looking, until I find it. Or maybe I should just put up a few posters instead.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 6th

I get no respect. First they make me reveal the extent of my wealth to the entirety of the Well, and then immediately afterwards they make me stand outside a door for at least half an hour with nobody to talk to. That latter task is apparently manageable by a janissary with actual brain damage, so I can see how fucking little they think of me. If they ask me to clean the lavatories next, I'm hiring Boots to shove their head in the latrine. Doesn't matter who it is. You're getting the latrine. Fuck you.

Because of all this, walking around in public is harrowing, because I can feel the stares of everyone I pass by, and I keep wondering if they're going to shank me. And every single conversation is about money. Well, Atticus asked about something else, since he had been wandering around the wastes all this time, or something. That was pleasant. I think if this keeps going on for more than a week, I'm just going to quit the job and leave town. Retire to Frostport or something. Start brewing that disgusting milkohol that they have. Doing that would probably pay little enough that nobody would pay attention to my wealth anymore.

As money is completely meaningless now, because anyone can mug me at any point, I just threw a huge sack of it at Dustwink. It's obvious that the gloomcards mean a great deal to him, so I want the Gloomsday tournament to be successful. And okay, I want there to be a fun festival too, an occasion where everyone can just get really drunk and forget about their troubles for a while. I can't always manage that, these days, since my tolerance has gotten depressingly high, and sometimes even ten bottles don't get me comfortably numb.

I wish I had talent for adventuring... Then I'd just join the Balladeers... Or the Torchbearers... Exploring with Anais and Meadow would be far more pleasant than any of this. But I'm stuck, like I have always been. In the past I could say that at least this work pays well, but now I'm not too sure if I even want that. I just want to feel comfortable for once in my life. Just for a moment. But I can't have even that.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 7th

Another encounter with the ayyabasim... As mysterious as the first one. I wonder just how often they are present, in the end? They seem to be so good at hiding that one might be looking over my shoulder as I write this and I would be none the wiser. Creepy. I suppose that there's plenty of questions that the others would've wanted to know, but there was little time for such... My questions, as always, would've been far simpler than theirs, most likely. Like what do the ayyabasim eat? I kind of get the feeling that their cuisine consists of a lot of raw food. I don't know why, they just give me that sort of vibe. Then again, if one of their statements is taken literally, then their diet is far more bizarre and disgusting than that.

After that encounter, we met a walking, dancing mushroom. Didn't talk though. But it really seemed to like dancing, so we showed it some of our moves... After which we helped it get back home. Some massive sibilant had bullied it away. Slaying that giant lizard was a troublesome affair. The mushroom proceeded to, well... Eat the corpse, and grew a few sizes. A disgusting sight, so I did my best to avert my gaze... It gave us strange gifts in return, though, so I guess it enjoyed its meal. That little buddy was absolutely adorable, despite its disgusting diet... But I'm not sure if I agree with Alejandro... Anything that walks on two legs is just a questionable choice for a pet.

Despite the disgusting details, writing this made me really hungry... I could go for a few turkey eggs. I've taken to adding some to my salads, since it makes for a quick, healthy snack. I think turkey eggs are healthy, anyhow? Certainly healthier than sibilant meat. Awful. I kind of wish I knew how to cook myself, but chefs tend to have terrible fates here, for some strange reason. What a cursed profession.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 8th

I tried showing Donny, Shum and Cabbage some places in the Ashways. It was mostly just them wandering around, though. I did manage to lead them to the places I wanted to show. Even if the attempt was made more difficult by the fact that the last time I was there, everything was really, really red. I mean, that doesn't actually change the directions, but it does fuck with my visual memory. A pleasant enough affair, even if Donny continues to be a highly distracting presence. And I got to buy some rare wine, too! I'm sure all of it is entirely legitimate! No bootleg liquor to be found there, I'm certain!

Also managed to find some of Alejandro's hidden poems... He's so talented! Poems are certainly a grand reward for doing some exploring... They did make me a bit misty-eyed, though. I tend to cry a lot when I come face to face with something beautiful. But I can't just do that, because people are such horrid brutes, and make fun of me for doing so. They can just hide their emotions, and proceed to have a lot of unnecessary baggage! Then later on, all of those passions will explode in the most volatile fashion, leading to drama and trauma! Your own fault for not being in touch with your emotions, you jerks!

I was going to plant that dancing mushroom's gift, and bring more dancing mushrooms to the world, but there was a sudden poof of spores, and the mushroom stalk transformed into a cord of sorts... Which I am now using as a tasteful belt! Because I am part of the avant-garde of haute couture... I declare fungal based haberdashery to be a la mode, and a style that shall last until the very end of the world. However, there are limits to this motif, just as there is with any mode... Those mushroom hats that some gnomes wear? Way too goofy to be fashionable. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Well, I do, and I'm not sorry. Wear an actual hat, for fuck's sake!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 9th

Abbayas. Such a desolate home. I don't know if I'd like to live in such a place... Yet dancing amongst the ash is something that I am deeply intrigued by. I crave attention though... to a certain extent, anyhow... so I'm not sure if I could survive living like that for very long. Just how many places like that are there left? Off the beaten bath, barely visited by most people...? I want to see them all. And I do mean all! I want to be the Scribe that knows every place by heart!

Dhoten is such a weirdo! I just wanted him to teach me how to make those strange paper crafts that he leaves around, but he refused, and then he began a barrage of rhymes about stars! That's such a weird way to make someone leave, but I guess it worked, since I just walked away quietly... I just want more practical skills. Like making strange, reality defying paper sculptures that give people migraines. Is that too much to ask...? I guess it is, actually.

Maybe the Sandstone College could teach me stuff like that...? But I'm not too sure if I could continue being a Scribe while studying. I'm so embarassed that I have no formal education though... I think people just assume that I do. I wonder if they have night courses...? I'd pay good money for them... Like really good money. I want to learn how to weave rugs... Paper crafts... Veterinary medicine... Baking... And I guess I want to learn some history too. I'd probably fall asleep at the desk, though... I kind of need a more hands-on approach to learning so I don't lose focus!

They kissed! I didn't see it, but I know that they did! I can barely contain myself! It's the love story of the century! Not even my novelettes get as steamy as that! Now I have to ensure that nothing goes wrong, so I can do the flower arrangements for their wedding! Love is a precious thing, innocent and pure... Uncorrupted by avarice or cruelty... And if anyone does anything to interfere with their love in any fucking way, I will make their life such a living hell that they will wish that they were never born!

I wish I could just fall in love to such an extent... But I'm always so scared that I'll lose him, no matter who it is... Either they'll learn how utterly broken I am, or they'll find someone else, or they'll get catch some exotic disease that can't be cured by divine magics and die and then I'll be all alone and I will never know if I can find anyone that can compare and I'll have to wear black for the funeral and I don't really like wearing all black and then they'll all stare at me and wonder how I feel and they'll have those awkward speeches and then everyone will judge me if I do actually find a new man and it'll be just horrible why can't love be simple I just want to wake up next to someone who loves me unconditionally and never leaves me and caresses my hair and tells me that it'll be all right even though the world is ending I hate all of this I need a smoke

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 10th

Jamileh came back! It was so touching to see her reunited with Alejandro! I am also starting to realize that my crying sounds really bizarre, but only when I'm doing so in public. It's like a seal's mating call, if they had something stuck up their nose. I wonder why that is? When I'm crying by myself, it is like the most beautiful lament, sung by a thousand doves, who came together in one pulchritudinous shell... Pulchritudinous is the most ugly word to describe beauty, and now that I've used it once, I shall never do so ever again!

Those Sandstone students interrupted my lunch with Zain! Don't they have studying to do?! If they do it again, I'm going to dump their books into the gutters! Learn about sewage systems on a practical level, you giant dweebs! I want Zain's apathetic attention all for myself, and if anyone distracts him, they'll live to regret it! Because I'll be a really mean bitch to them, most likely on a passive aggressive level... Which is the worst type of aggression!

Since Maddicus was up to his usual intracranial trauma induced shenanigans, I was in charge of deliveries for a while. I paid this Stonefolk refugee hundreds of dinari for some courier work... All the deliveries went to my dearest friends! Well, not all of them, since I have a lot of friends these days... But I didn't really want to tire the poor man too much. It was so fun though... I'll certainly be hiring couriers for such work in the future! I have so many ideas for gifts!

Meadow had a date with a wanted criminal... She sure knows how to pick them. Sayyida shaked her butt at him, I guess because she's into ugly criminals, too... Her butt made him so mad that we were forced to kill him in self-defense. And cut off his head. Because he had a bounty on him. And the only proof for a bounty is a severed head. Crime doesn't pay, and neither does dating Meadow. I mean, that's mean... I'm sure that if she attained a modicum of taste in men, she could make someone very happy.

Oh, and I also nearly died, because a sibilant thrusted their spear through me. There's that too. I hate travel, sometimes. I hate nearly dying, too. I think I might stay holed up in the Well for a while. I think. I'm too curious for my own good, though.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 11th

Martin Ashbury... The most unfortunate man in Ephia's Well, and probably the most nightmarish colleague you could ever have. He was supposed to get Marcellus' sheets cleaned, and instead, a gust of wind carried him around the Well like a tiny leaf. He got stuck upside down on Elossi's roof, and had to be cut down. I told people that he would fall into the trash barrel below, but they didn't believe me. Of course, he proceeded to do just that. Nobody ever listens to me. I know Martin's antics better than they do...

And because I'm an utter idiot... After all of this, I decided that maybe, just maybe, Martin could handle one license. There's no way that he can fuck that up, right? It's a license. But somehow, he managed to set fire to our cabinet, destroying it and all of the licenses within. Not even ash remained afterwards. Fitting, considering his surname, I suppose. And the craziest detail...? He said that it was because some water was set ablaze. I think that he just mistook some oil or grease for water, or something. And if it was water...? He truly is the most cursed man alive.

But here's the thing about Martin. No matter how many times he fucks up, no matter how many accidents happen to him, no matter how many times I yell at him... He still doesn't quit. He might be a complete coward, yet he still has more willpower than most of our new recruits do. So, yeah, I kind of respect him on some level, despite how utterly dreadful it is to work alongside him sometimes. I suppose chasing after him is good exercise, too.

I knew that Alejandro's office was an utter mess, but I never expected his ceiling to come tumbling down! Thankfully I'm so quick on my feet that I wasn't hurt. Naelin's great aunt – who she keeps insisting is younger than her for some reason – almost died, though. Also, there probably was something in the dust of that ceiling, because we all hallucinated that a fireplace was speaking to us. That was some weird shit. I'm going to ask if we can have a meeting in my room next time. For safety reasons.

Okay, I really just want people to compliment my magnificently decorated room, especially my dazzlingly bountiful flowers.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 12th

Anais is dead.

I cried... A lot. First time was me just screaming, and then just letting the tears come without any effort... Just let them trickle down my face. Second time was such a profuse effort, so elaborate that every inch of my face ached. And the third and the fourth... Just confused medleys of emotion where I didn't really know what I was feeling. Going without makeup for the rest of the day was a good decision.

I felt like yelling at the Tormented... But doing that attracts their attention. So I didn't. Anais would've called me a cowardly little shit for not doing that. Then after convincing me to do it, she would've done everything to keep me safe. Mostly due to the promise of a good scrap, I guess. And okay, she also cared about me.

I'll miss her. A lot. It'll be real weird not having her shrieking on the bellows. I also don't have anyone to play the insult game with anymore... There's Martin, but he breaks so easily that I could say anything at all and he'd immediately quit, so that's not really the same...

Flowers for her grave: edelweiss and white chrysanthemum. I probably won't be able to get those in this damned place, but... I guess attempting to find them is enough. I guess.

Goodbye, Anais.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 13th

I think Marcellus' dementia is getting worse every day! It's making more decisions for the Well than he is! Eventually it's going to manifest as a person, or something, because truth is forged by meaningful action here. Or something. I don't know what personified dementia looks like, though. Like him, but even older, I suppose. Not the first time I see the mental state of my "bosses" deteriorate, and this time it isn't even my fault! Importing milk from Frostport is going to get really expensive if this keeps going... At least it's good for international relations, I guess?

The Sandstone keeps getting more and more students... Which would be good, if it were not for their absolutely hideous uniforms. I feel like screaming every time I see them. What a travesty of fashion. I'm pretty sure that they're repurposed gunny sacks. Simply dreadful! And I see that uniform every single day, since Alecto keeps lingering around the Pyramid, for reasons unknown to everyone else but him. If I was a student, I certainly wouldn't be spending time there. You have studying to do! Parties to go to! Younger students to bully! Drugs to sell to pay for tuition! None of that can be done at the Pyramid! At least not easily! Get out!

A casual get-together at my home, and everyone complimented my absolutely fabulous decor. I deserve it! Interior decorator is just one of many possible career paths for me after I get fired after a scandal of some sort. And here's the good thing: being part of a scandal is good advertisement for interior decorators and beuticians, because scandalous people tend to be at the fore of good taste! Well, scandalous people like me... Anyhow, I wish there were more occasions like that, but usually it's just three hours of people yapping about the Gate of Sand. Simply dreadful! This, on the other hand, was so pleasant that I didn't even get drunk after it.

Well, I tried to, but I was too giddy to focus on the drinking!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 14th

What a strange day. Dhoten collapsed at the Plaza, and proceeded to vomit an entire ocean to the sands... A hole in reality, supposedly. That hole led to a dimension of fish! After some astral fishing with a fishing rod that was supposedly more idea than material, the ambassador of the talking astral fish people came forth, and asked us to seal the hole... Zain, being the utterly ingenious and ever talented sweetheart that he is, managed to do just that. He sewed it shut with needle and thread! He's amazing!

After that, Zain brought me some gifts to work again... And he let me hug him! This was our second hug! I can't wait for the third! And the fourth! And the fifth! And the... I shouldn't list all of them, that would take forever. I really need to find that cat, so I can go up to the tower, and surprise him with it... Just carry a little kitten in my pocket, ask him to close his eyes, then drop the cute little feline on his head! Though I think that might be too surprising. Maybe just drop it in his hands instead.

Domhnall held a lecture about Asterabadian Theory... It was pretty popular, but most of the people present were just heckling him. Apparently Asterabadi wrote about passionate attraction? I wanted to hear about that, since it seems far more interesting than all the other boring things people were asking about. If philosophy was more about passion, attraction and hot love, I'd read more of it! A page or two, at least, since I don't read any at all right now.

Also that projection device at the Sandstone nearly blew up during it! I wish it had! Not that I didn't like Domhnall's lecture, but it would've been a really memorable ending to the whole affair... A real explosive finish!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 15th

I was sleeping at the Pyramid for the night. Kept laying in bed, staring at the bookcases, wondering if Martin was going to wake me up like he had so many times before in the past. Returning to that sort of life feels strange enough on its own, but then there's Mari...

She was one of the first friends that I made here... Probably the first actual friend, really. Thinking of her now fills me with that same empty rage that I've grown so accustomed to. That anger that's just there, and you accept that there isn't really anything you can do about it. Just wallow in it... And the trial was like that too. Though I was still silly enough to try to sway him, at the end, to attempt to hint that maybe everything presented there wasn't as it seemed. But it was pointless. 

I was surprised that I wasn't brought to the stand about it. A lot of people knew about our friendship. Perhaps the nature of it was evident enough? That it simply was someone who was withering, reaching for the warmth of an admittedly complicated figure. I always expected the usual accusations of being a Gellemede, but they never came. Yet perhaps my simple nature is also evident enough to dispell such suspicions. Too stupid to be a cultist... Too easily distracted to meditate on the divine... Too simple to understand any of it.

Next time I visit Hufaidh, I'm leaving something there... Something that'll bear some meaning for a moment, but will slowly start losing it as soon as time directs its rusting hold towards it. Fitting.

I loved her.

A dream.

A gaggle of guests. They wear the finest of silks, yet lack the taste to achieve even basic color coordination. They could pay for someone else to choose for them, yet they are too miserly to do it. Wealth collects dust in their tacky abodes, never used for anything meaningful. I despise them.

I stand, tray in hand. The glasses clink against each other on occasion, as I drift through the room, offering wine to each and every toplofty twit. Just wine, this time. There is no dreammist boiling in a kettle, no chaunsel being applied to disgusting, flabby bodies that have never known hard labor. Hedonism is not in style, tonight. Their words repeat, and so do mine, an echo of meaningless decorum.

"It is no trouble."

She surrounds herself with guests, but only the ones that help her maintain appearances. They laugh at her comments, she merely smiles at theirs. She isn't funnier. She merely has more status. Her stare meanders towards me on occasion, her smile growing more pronounced every time she hears it.

"It is no trouble."

The words that she taught me so well. A reflex, born out of fear. Her endless insults, drilling their way into the deepest recesses of my pained mind. Her sickeningly bony fingers... Slapping against my face. Pulling on my hair. Choking my neck. Her gaudily painted nails, boring into my skin. Countless marks of abuse, that I cover beneath cloth, makeup and performance. 

"It is no trouble."

I haunt the guests that she has pointed out. Listen to every secret that the wine manages to pry out of their thick skulls. To them, I am the ever diligent servant, ready to attend to whatever whims they think that they deserve fulfilled. In truth, I am a mere ferret, foraging through their trash for tasty morsels. They keep thanking me, as if any of these acts of survival were done for their sake on any level.

"It is no trouble."

[close]

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 16th

Visiting Il Modo was a grand occasion. Everything they have is marvelous and beautiful. Their architecture, their fabrics, their people... I bought so many souvenirs that my bag nearly fell apart. Even their temple was wondrous, and I really don't understand much about religion... My favorite thing, though... The eel pie. It is so tasty, and I wish I could have some every day.

Coming back home, though? I felt like utter shit. I am most likely a worse Scribe than Martin is, because at least his pratfalls wouldn't have caused an international incident. Probably not. I thought I had all the relevant facts, and it turned out that I didn't have any facts at all. I spent an hour just staring at the Sandstone, wondering if I should just quit and start studying rug weaving. But I think I would be the shittiest student, too. I really don't know what I want to do with my life right now.

And it's that same problem again... Everyone keeps saying that I'm doing a good job, but I really am not. I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing. Especially not what I'm supposedly doing right. On occasion I feel like I'm starting to ease into the job, then something like this comes along and I feel like screaming from the top of my lungs. It's just awful.

And I can't even sleep at my room, right now, because that hitman is still probably looking for me. I can't afford a guard posted at my door every night. I'm scared of going there. I'm scared of going anywhere. I wish I could have some peace, even for a moment. I wish my friends would stop dying. I wish I could find a husband and just raise camels or something.

I hate my life.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 17th

A parrot obsessed with knobs flew to the Krak, and asked for help for his master! Zauzar enlisted me, so that the occasion could be recorded... Which I guess I am doing right now? Anyhow, we met with the ex-pirate Spem Nurto, former captain of the Ol' Wobbler, in Qadira. He needed some help with his ex-wife, Salty Sue... Which is to say that he wanted us to kill that bitch. And what a salty bitch she was! She was some kind of malignant sea spirit, guarded by a throng of undead! I'd have qualms with such a contract, if she hadn't been such a bitch. I mean, I'm one too, but I don't have undead pirates for minions. But I still get contracts on my beautiful person!

There's a new tabloid in town: The Ashstorm Times. That's all well and good... Actually, is it...? These tabloids are such nuisances, usually... Anyhow, the really important thing is that the reporters for the rag are called Dick and Willie. Dick and Willie! Dick. Willie. I couldn't believe it! Being around those two buffoons will strain my implicative tendencies! I couldn't live without innuendo!

Boops got assaulted by a scorch fiend... It wasn't Boots, though. Boots is missing. Boops is alive, Boots might be dead. Maybe of dehydration after he found a particularly intriguing wall. Boops and Boots. Boots and Boops. Sounds like a children's tale... Anyhow, Boops is all right, and I'm glad of that... I've lost enough friends already... What's really surprising is that she had no idea that I'm into guys. But after she explained why, a whole bunch of things started making sense!

Oh, I also saw a camel transform into a cloud of cards... That was weird.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Kanön Hray 18th

Zain made me some shoes! A pair of soles! Pair-o'-soles! They're the most amazing shoes ever made, because he made them... And we hugged for the third time! He even leaned in closer! It was amazing... The best hug I've ever had, because it felt so comfy... Now I really need to treat him to a special lunch of some sort, but... We'll probably just go to Mro Po's, since he's such a good chef. And if we went anywhere fancier, we'd probably get thrown out, because Magnifica eating some fancy grub would probably be a breach of decorum... I think a chubby hen eating food meant for people is just cute, personally! Coming up with these posters for the cat is so difficult, since I want them to be perfect, and to attract as much attention as possible...

I was so giddy for so long, and I would've probably stayed that way if the rest of the day wasn't such shit! The Fourth and the Rose had yet another fight, and the Fourth thought that was the best moment to announce Squeev's death to everyone... Guess those helmets don't really guard you from brain damage. And during that...? I was helping Domergue with fashion. Turns out that I hate designing for leather armor... Leather pants, sure, that's real easy... Armor? Awful! Simply dreadful! The selection that they have at the Hall is just abysmal!

But yeah, Squeev's dead! I remember when I first met him... I thought he was just some two dinari drug dealer, but it turned out that he was a real nice guy! Really good at navigating the... social landscape... or whatever. I guess having all the narcotics in the world on hand helped with that, but he was a pretty good speaker, too. I hope they hang the bastards who killed him! Usually I'm squeevish about such things, but those assholes deserve it!

Oh yeah, and everyone had visions where a tiny little bloke was yelling at Domhnall, or something. That was weird. I don't know if it's weirder than that camel transforming into cards, but...