The Varied Writings of Abbas Alamouti

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Dear Uncle,

The pickle juice works! Sorry for doubting you, and thank you for the recipe. I'm still not sure if I believe that you got it from a giant. I don't even know what sort of giant would gift you such a thing, really. Again, sorry, but it's just a lot to take at face value.

The giants here look much like your prior descriptions. The "Wellfolk" tower over everyone, dress in ancient garbs and seem to hide their faces behind scary masks. Maybe that's actually their face, I don't know, and I apologize if that is the case, but it truly is kind of horrific. Also the air around them is really humid! And yes, unfortunately, they seem to be in grave danger.

I know that your work is very important, but the neighbors complain a lot. At least get someone to look at the acoustics. I'll do it for free if the cost is the issue!

With lots of love,

Abbas

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Better Tanglefoot Bag

The problem with the regular old tanglefoot bag is that it still allows sinful heretics to invite violence upon your form via throwing knifes and other such disgraceful implements, or they can just outright cut themselves free from the tangle! My improved tanglefoot bag doesn't allow any of that. Okay, so, I need to still perform some live tests but I'm pretty sure I've got it figured out. Also, it needs a catchy name. Maybe just like an acronym, like Better TangleFoot (Original). Or "Parafoot Bag". Names are so hard to come up with!

Improved Rake and Shovel

Okay, so, these are great. I perfected every single aspect of both form and function, I'm really proud of the alloy, so, any laborer using these will perform their job far more efficiently and safely! The problem is that tools like these aren't a big money maker, at least not at the scope that I'm making them! You need to mass produce them to break even, and almost nobody ever gets excited about better tools. I don't get some people. Maybe I can sell the plans to some big corporation back home and use the money to start a ranch for orphaned camels.

Featherweight Cauldron

Eva says that these are a real big seller. Relatively, anyway. I'm far more fascinated with the alloy. I'm pretty sure I can perfect it so that it can be used for other stuff, too. If I can manage that, it'll change the whole world... of tools!

Skinning Knife

It's a skinning knife. It's not even better than the commonly found design on the market! It sucks camel eggs!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Toil ever long, 'til dreams peculiar halt
My labor, by the beast of scalded pit.
Plead meekly: "Do be kind, cease your assault",
And so they left, without need of a writ.

This is so difficult! How does uncle do it?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 10th, IY 7789

I stayed up all night to witness the trial of the century... in Ephia's Well. Law's real complicated even though it's basically all about guilt or innocence. I'm kind of glad that I only ever did one law course, that's all I need really, and even that's for the sake of business! I wouldn't want to be a barrister it's a whole lot of bother and too much responsibility but I guess plumbing has the latter too.

One of those mafiosos sat behind Orin and made a bunch of vague threats, in fact it was the guy from before who escaped from jail? Nobody seemed to care besides me, Orin and this new Scarab, who managed to arrest the heinous villain. Now we're on a mission to solve this case and save the Well, okay, so, Orin is, I'm kind of just there as moral support. With Orin you kind of have to keep him focused on the matter at hand otherwise he just loses focus. Mum says I have a deficit but I'm not nearly as bad.

Oh and I almost forgot the verdict of the trial made everyone mad it was a real doozy! Assigning the worth of one thousand dinars to a person is simply sinful so I don't like it either. I don't really know what sort of judgment would've fared better though?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 11th, IY 7789

I lost my limited edition Mastiff Gloom Card somewhere I don't know where it went! May Izdu forgive me for such thoughtlessness! It was really expensive too maybe I should've just donated that money to charity. I don't know what cards to use for the tourney now. Not that the Mastiff's great but it's still an okay backup because I don't know how many people are going to compete? If it's tens of people then you need holos and good ones!

Famous Shum Sheroy is in big trouble! He's got everyone so angry because... well, okay, so, I'm not sure if he actually doesn't feel guilty or he's really bad at phrasing things, I think it's the latter and he just keeps saying the most inappropriate thing possible. He should go to a charm school or just have elocution lessons but then again he can't afford any of that now because he owes a great debt to society and in more ways than one!

Orin still hasn't finished making Orin-Os.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Suggestions for Orin-Os Flavors

Rhubarb Rush

Lemon Lime Lagoon

Orange Oasis

Sticky Date Pudding

Carob Crush

Breadfruit Bonanza

Funky Durian

Banafsian Banana Bread

Coconut Comet

Pomelo Power